Covid was the best thing to happen to Harley because this meant that he would be with me all day long. I started to work from home, so not only was he my love, he quickly became my therapist and coworker. I would talk out loud and complain to Harley about work and while he slept through majority of it, him simply being there and being him released my stress instantly and gave me joy.

He was a special boy, not just to me but everyone he met. I truly believe my life was made better because of him and for that I can never repay him. Harley was more than a "pet", he was my family and my best friend. How lucky I was to have had him in my life for so long. In his final year, Harley did become a lot more dependent on me which made us have an even closer relationship. Harley gave me a purpose and he gave me drive. He may not know how much of my life I owe to him but I hope I made him just as happy and proud as he made me.

Continue to be you Harley, there is nothing better in this world and beyond than YOU!

(5/7/23):
It has been a week since you have been physically gone from us and it has been difficult to say the least. Today marked another special day, it was the day that we picked up your ashes. I had been waiting for this moment since I saw you leave out of the front door last week. I knew I would have some sense of comfort knowing you are back in your home with us. The moment did not go as I thought though, in fact I cried.. a lot. It was hard to grasp the thought that the beautiful, young, amazing creature I raised and loved so much is somehow now ashes... That is just SO STRANGE! How did they take my handsome big boy and return a bag?.. It was a rough day for sure, but even between the tears I had some sort of content feeling within because at least some form of you physically is back where you belong, our home. For now we made your "urn" your old treat holder you know the one that you loved staring at all the time! I'm not sure what I want to do yet, I think I always just want some part of you with me and since I can't kiss that soft big face of yours anymore at least I can hug your "urn". As my day was unpleasant and numb you did something, and I know it was you, you did something that brought a smile on my face. How do you still manage to put a smile on my face and spoil me even when you aren't here? I'll tell you how, because as I told you many times before you YOU HAVE MAGIC WHICH IS WHY I ALWAYS BELIEVED YOU WERE AN ANGEL ON EARTH WITH US. I went to your aunt house to be around the kids, remember how crazy they are? I bet you are happy you don't have to deal with them always taking your toys.. HAHA. When I was at their house earlier, the family was in the backyard and I heard, "Helga, omg there is a butterfly on your back". I freaked out naturally thinking maybe it wasn't butterfly maybe it was a bug, but even when I moved it did not fly away. Everyone was freaking out so naturally the cameras came out, and now we have proof. Tell me I'm crazy, but how is it possible a beautiful butterfly not only flew on my back but stayed there for over 5 minutes, including when I was moving and WALKING! It was you, I choose to believe it was you. Harley, if I haven't said it enough yet, THANK YOU. THANK YOU for thinking of me, thank you for always being there, and thank you for sending that sign today when I needed it the most. I love you big boy, always did and always will! Cant wait to see you again one day, until then please visit more often!!!
Love Momma

(7/5/23):
A few weeks have gone by at this time and it has not gotten any easier or have I even been able to grasp the idea you no longer are physically here. I know you are here with my in spirit but to be honest when is that ever enough for anyone? I miss you so much! I miss your goofy face, I miss how you got in my way when I tried to go anywhere and I miss how I knew every time I came through that front door you were always there to great me. I don't know when this gets easier or when I become more used to this feeling. As of now, I'm trying my best to distract myself however I still feel like a big part of me is missing. You made my life so much better, and you gave me so many reasons to smile and laugh daily that without you it seems hard to do. I want you to know and feel that I love you always, and want to thank you for being more than enough!
Love Momma

(7/31/23):
I held your leash for the first time in a long time, it felt a little surreal to be honest. I remember it so well like it was yesterday putting the leash on you and either you were excited and barking or you were running away and I had to chase you. I look back at those moments and I wonder if it was because you were just being you or if you were actually in pain and I couldn't see it or understand. I am so sorry if it was the second reason, I am so sorry for not being able to see the pain you were in. In time, I hope you can forgive me for all the things I missed and all the mistakes I made. I hope you only know I was trying my best and I growing up so I had a lot to learn, I only hope I gave you the best life you could have had because you truly deserved that. You were my angel on earth and I still don't know how to repay you for everything you did and gave to me, I don't know if I ever will. Thank you for being my everything, and thank you for giving me everything.
I love you so much it hurts my heart to be without you every moment, every day, every week.
Love Momma