TO GODIVA |
A beautiful light has been extinguished.
A little light that shined so bright.
A precious friend so close and loving
That brought joy and caring day and night.
That little light that shined so bright
For every light that fades
The comfort of her laying beside me
She raised me up with her beautiful spirit
By my side through my darkest hours
More than a pet
To no longer see her bright eyes
As she would lay there beside me
Godiva was almost nine years old
Her beautiful heart no longer beats
Sleep Well, My Friend.
Sleep well my precious little friend.
Life is full of sorrow and pain,
I still see you when on a walk.
We'll walk together again some day
Be happy until then, my friend
Time For You To Go
My heart asked for just one more day.
Your little light still shines
Forever by my side
I write these words to
After we took your life,
That day will live in my memory.
You were so calm and trusting.
As you laid your little head
Not the least hard thing to bear when they go
It was very comical at night when we were getting ready for bed. First I'd give Godiva and her 'sister' a Vienna Sausage in the kitchen. Then I'd get them their bedroom treats. As I started to the bedroom Godiva would take off lickety split. All I'd see would be her little hind legs going around the corner and down the hall. Very comical. After that, she got in the habit of "looking pretty" to get more treats and to melt daddy's heart. That was sooo precious. It is way beyond cute how she would "look pretty" to get her bedtime treat. As she was sitting up, she'd flick her paws out and back in anticipation. I would make a move toward her and she would "play-bite" my nose. We'd do this a coupla times then I'd give her the treat. When I got under the covers and ready to go nite-nite they'd get their final treats. Usually Milk Bone Trail Mix. Godiva would finish hers and then watch Bambi eat hers to make sure there were no leftovers. Then she would curl up to me as close as she could and we'd get some shut-eye.
When I was down or upset, she'd be right there looking up at me as if to say "It'll be alright, Daddy. I'm here to make it better". Like when I messed up making a model and would get upset. I could count on her coming up and putting her paws on my leg as if to calm me down. She'd look at me and I'd get down on all fours to give her some loving. She'd pass back and forth under me and we'd do smoochies as she did.
For a year after my wife Carla passed, Godiva would still look at the door at the time Carla usually got home at 2130. Godiva could also predict very accurately when bedtime was and would start getting excited at 2200 and wouldn't rest until she got her bedtime treats and showed off being pretty to Daddy. To make me take notice, she would go grab her squeaky monkey and really give it a workout. I'd throw it for her and she would bring it back shaking it fiercely.
In the morning at roughly 0430 I would be asleep, but I could sense a presence. I'd open my eyes and there she'd be staring at me from about a foot away as if saying" Get up Daddy. Its time for breakfast. I'm hungry". So, that's how the day would begin. I'd prepare hers and Bambi's food and then take it into the office for them to eat it. When she finished her breakfast, she'd watch Bambi until she, too, was finished. Then Godiva would lick Bambi's bowl to make sure she didn't leave anything.
The cancer caused her to have such a problem breathing, especially at night. When she was in distress, I'd curl up with her on the bed to give her what comfort I could. Just the reverse of her curling up with me. If her distress was too much, I'd suggest we go to the living room and sit in the chair. She seemed to know what that meant and she would go in there. If we'd sit where she could be on her stomach rather than on her side seemed to alleviate the distress a little,
June 01, 2016. Noticing her looking "unhealthy " more. She didn't sit with me a lot like usual and she did not want to go outside unless I went out. But then I really have to cajole her to come out. I got a plastic chair and took it out into the shade of the big bush. She came and got on my lap. We sat there for quite a while just enjoying the outdoors and each other's company.
June 03, 2016. Godiva went to be with Carla and Tinkerbell today. As I got her collar to put on her neck, she ran into the office to her "safe place" under the computer desk. I had a hard time getting her to accept the collar. When she did, I took her in my arms and headed out. I stopped just before I put her in the truck and pointed out the beautiful day and the birds singing. I put her in the back seat and she immediately got into her hidey hole. She was so scared of traveling in the car. Took her to The vet. I did not intend to put her down on this visit. It was only to be a consultation. While driving over and after seeing the way she looked this morning, I decided to let this be her final visit. Nothing to be gained by waiting a week or two except a lot of discomfort to be avoided by my little girl.
As I was removing her little hidey hole from the back seat, I noticed 3 little poops on the floor. As we were going to the vet I had stopped for a light. She came up beside me and looked out. Then she got behind the passenger seat and cowered there. She must have been so scared that she let out the little poops out of fright. You can't tell me that doggies can't sense our feelings and emotions. Even with as calm a presence as I could maintain. She knew something terrible was going to happen.
06/10/2016. Brought Godiva home today. I am so happy to have her here even though we can't play and cuddle any longer. I know she is with me. She always was. I made a place for her so that she can rest with her favorite things. She is with Tinkerbell, Belle, Buddy, and Duchess now. Hope they are having as much fun as they used to. I miss her so much. I break out in tears spontaneously and cry til I run out. She was so special to me. I gotta stop now. I can't see the keyboard very well. I love the Little Brown Doggie. I miss you so.
06/10/2016 I miss you Porkchop. You were my little rock. Now there's no one to lay beside me at night to watch TV nor to cuddle up with for nite-nite. I'm sorry you had to leave so soon but I know you're not suffering any longer and that is a comfort. Keep an eye peeled for me Little Brown Doggie. I'll see you one day.
06/14/2016 I had a bad day today. I miss you so. I sure could have used a pooch smooch today. To have you laying beside me and giving your comfort and love would have made a happy day. I hope my little girl is having fun with all the other fur babies. Keep your eyes open for daddy when he gets there.
06/20/2016. How's Godiva today? Made any new friends or you barking at them from under the bed? Daddy misses you a lot, Little Brown Dog. His heart is still heavy with grief, but grief is ever so gradually being replaced by our happy memories that we made. Daddy loves his little girl. It's summer today, so I changed your background.
06/21/2016 The sorrow at your loss is ever present. The hurt at your passing is finally being replaced by the happy memories of things we did together. I miss you tremendously - the "play-bites" at my nose, looking pretty for a treat, snuggling while watching TV and in bed bagging some Z's, your "grooming" me with your little nips, and our long walks. Very, very happy memories. I was blessed to have your unconditional love. I will cherish it always.
06/27/2016 Its almost a month and I miss you. I miss your "pooch smooches", your "Nose-bites", your nibbling, but most of all I miss your nearness and physical presence. You could always make Daddy feel good and calm when you were beside him on the couch watching TV or going nite-nite. I read the poem "Missing You" and it tends to calm me and I realize that you are here in spirit with Daddy and that is a comfort. Happy memories still make me cry cuz' I miss you so. DADDY LOVES DOGGIE.
07/01/2016 Its been a month Precious Girl. I miss you tremendously. At the cabin for the holiday. As I was laying in the recliner watching TV last night, I felt a pressure on my right thigh. I could see there was nothing there. That was you, wasn't it? You were with Daddy where you usually laid when we watched TV. I'll take you for a walk tomorrow if you want to. No leashes either. DADDY MISSES DOGGIE.
07/17/2016 Its been six weeks. Miss you every day Little Brown Doggie.
08/03/2016 Today is two months since we said good-bye. I've missed you every day. Went for a walk along the paths we used to walk. Every step brought happy memories and, yes, a few tears, too. You are at Rainbow Bridge having a beautiful, sickness free life. I am living with fond memories until we can be together. Love you Porkchop, my Little Brown Doggie.
9/10/2016. Happy Birthday Little Brown Doggie. You would have been 9 years old today. Our time was way too short. I miss you.
11/03/2017. It's been 5 months Porkchop. I cry for you every day. We have together time each night at bedtime. I feel close to you then. I miss you.
12/03/2016. Little girl, it's been six months since we took your little life. I wish there had been any way we could have cured your cancer, but it was too far metastasized for that to be. I miss you each and every day. You left a big hole that can not be filled. I still cry when I think about you being gone, but,also, I smile with all the precious memories we had.
12/26/2016 Went to Phoenix to cuz's place for Christmas. Missed you being with us.
03/21/2017 Its spring. Time when we'd be going on more regular walks. I miss you Porkchop, my Little Brown Doggie.
06/03/2017 Its been a year. At 10AM on that Friday you went to be with Tink and mommy. Today I celebrate your life and the unconditional love you gave to me. I'm making today a day of joy and remembrance of the happy times we had.
09/10/2017 Happy Birthday, Porkchop. Hope you have a smashing day today. I gave you a cake and put a poem on the Poems Page.. I miss you, little friend.
She'll be there to greet me with her tail wagging. "Welcome home, Daddy. I missed you. Got any goodies for me? I gotta get a drink and pee now that you're home. I'll save my poop until just before bed like always. I'll look pretty and play bite at your nose if you'll give me a goody. We gotta go find Mommy and Tink. They're waiting to see you. Welcome home, Daddy."