My beautiful little girl passed away last night of undiagnosed lung cancer. She lived 9 long, happy years with us, and I loved her more than anything. She fought right up until the end, and she never so much as let on that she was sick. I've never met such a remarkable kitty. Whenever I was sick or sad, she was right there with me with her big, concerned eyes. She slept next to me every night I lived with her, and she loved me more than anyone. She was my best friend, and I cannot put into words how devastating her loss is to me. I love you so much Diana, and I'm so glad you aren't in pain anymore.|
Diana was the most intuitive, curious little cat I've ever known. She was our little princess. She never missed morning routine and her assisticat duties, and she always made sure to take extra care of the sick and sad. If someone was sick, she'd just sit with them round the clock until her person recovered. Whenever I was crying, Diana was right there to purr and nuzzle me back to happiness. Even when she wasn't nearby, she just knew when her human was upset, and she came flying into the room saying "plurp, plurp" and jumping up to assist.
Diana and her sister, Luna, were especially close. Luna loved her sister dearly, and showed it constantly. They were inseparable, often cuddling and bathing one another. Luna loved bathing Diana, and was never deterred when Diana punished her for "over-bathing."
In her life, Diana was a mother cat. She raised two kittens, one of whom she also had to bury. When we brought home a new kitten, she would go bathe him to get the kennel smell off. From the moment she met him, Toulouse was her child. She cared for him every day until he passed on to the Rainbow Bridge.
I remember the day I met her. Back then she was a tiny, one-month old baby hiding under a chair in the rescue. Back then, they called her Georgie, and her foster parents brought her and her three sisters in to meet my mom and I. All the smells startled her, and she ran under the chair while Luna played on the floor with me. I begged my mom to take home both of them, and into the car the four of us went. The girls and I sat in the back seat, and I opened their box. Diana crawled right out and sat on my lap while Luna stared on from the box. It was love at first sniff. From that moment, Diana was my baby, my kitty, and I was her person.
When they were that tiny, she and her sister would crawl up into the bathroom drawers together, and we'd always open the drawer to a meow. Eventually both of the twins became too large for this practice, so Diana took to sitting on my lap while my mother did my hair. Whenever I would take baths, both Diana and Luna would sniff around the tub, and I'll never forget the day poor Diana fell in. Amazingly, I didn't get scratched, but my poor baby was soaked. I had to chase her through the bathroom with a towel so I could dry her off. I used to hold her like a baby and rock her, even after she grew up. She never particularly enjoyed it after she turned four or so, but she always tolerated it for me. And when she was walking around, I'd curl her tail along the crook in it. We always said sissy had stepped on it, and curling it always relaxed Diana.
Even at the end of her life, Diana put her people first. She watched over my mom during a kidney infection, and never told us she was sick. She never stopped eating or drinking, and never groaned over her pain. Her adopted sister, Paris, was gravely ill as well, and though she never cared much for Paris, Diana allowed my mom to coddle Paris in her hour of need. Diana and I had a special bond. I loved her dearly, as she did me. She waited for me to come say goodbye before she'd let herself die. Even the vet said she was a remarkable kitty and most pets would not have survived as long as Diana did in her condition. I saw her on her last day. She stared me deep in the eyes for the last time and said her silent goodbye. I hugged her tight, held her paw, kissed her head and told her how much I loved her as she took her last breath. I love that cat more than life itself. She was my best friend, and I will miss her every day.
Weep not for me, though I am gone
into that gentle night.
Grieve if you will, but not for long
upon my soul's sweet flight.
I am at peace, my soul's at rest.
There is no need for tears.
For with your love I was so blessed
for all those many years.
There is no pain. I suffer not.
The fear is now all gone.
Put your pain out of your thoughts,
for in your memory I live on.
If tears could build a stairway,
and memories a lane.
I would walk right up to Heaven
and bring you back again.
No farewell words were spoken,
No time to say '"Goodbye."
You were gone before I knew it,
and only God knows why.
My heart still aches with sadness,
and secret tears still flow.
What it meant to love you -
No one can ever know.
But now I know you want me
to mourn for you no more;
To remember all the happy times
life still has much in store.
Since you'll never be forgotten,
I pledge to you today~
A hollowed place within my heart
is where you'll always stay.
I've missed you every second since I felt you leave this world. I can't sleep knowing you aren't there to curl up with me, and when I'm crying, I can't help but think of how you always came to see about me when I was sad. Then I get more broken up knowing I'm alone, and my cat friend can't cheer me up anymore. I know you'd hate to see me like this, and I'm trying so hard. But I miss you more than I can bear. I feel like I died with you, like my heart has been ripped out of my chest, and I've forgotten how to live. I need my assisticat to help me. I love you baby, thank you for being my best friend. I wouldn't trade the years we spent together for anything in this world or the next. You are my angel.
Your sister is holding up well according to mom. She just sits in our room, on the bed we all shared. But she's in good spirits. She purrs when people go to see her and love on her. Sissy loved you very much, and I'm so happy you were able to raise her to be the quirky, loving cat she is today. We all love and miss you little girl, you were a very special kitty.
It's 4th of July here in Atlanta, and all the guys at the house are celebrating. The festivities began last night on the lawn. I felt so bad out having fun instead of grieving. But Reed came by around five yesterday, and we talked about you a lot. He loved you so much, and I know he was one of the only men you ever enjoyed. He said he was very sad, and whenever I'd talk about you, it was nice to know he understood. Whenever I started feeling guilty about my spirits being lifted, Reed reminded me how you wouldn't want me to be sad. You always did everything you could to keep me from crying, so is it okay if I have fun with my friends today? I'm just so sad, I miss you with all my heart. I thought I was dying from pain until Reed came and helped me perk up. Having a companion is so helpful at times like this, I just always imagined that companion was you. I love you little girl, more than you could ever know.
Your Kitten Girl
Hey little girl,
I'm beginning to cheer up. But I feel guilty about being in good cheer when I should still be mourning over you. I feel a bit lost, and I think some part of me keeps forgetting that you're gone and not just waiting for me at mom's house. I keep expecting to drive down there and have you waiting on me. Then I have to remind myself that you aren't there anymore, and I get sad again. I feel like I'm forgetting you, because I'm in Atlanta having fun. I don't want to forget you. I don't ever want to forget you. Reed says I never will, even in the moments it feels like you're slipping away, deep down your love will never get lost. Everyone says I'll have other pets in due time, but I don't want them. They aren't you. No cat can ever compare to you, please stay with me. Please, don't ever leave me. I'm lost without you. I saw this quote on a friend's facebook page, "And if you've never felt your soul being torn apart, you've never loved anyone with your whole heart." I loved you with everything I had, Diana, and I miss you so much.
I miss you so much. Mom said she picked you up today and brought your little ashes home. I just wanted to tell you I'm beginning to function again. It was so odd, a couple days ago I stopped feeling like you were gone. I felt like you were with me while I was sleeping. Were you? Did you come to cheer me up? I know you probably felt terrible that I was so sad, so thank you for watching over me. You always will be my best friend. I love you so much, and I miss you every day.
I came to Savannah yesterday to see your sister. I held your little box and velvet bag. It was heavier than I thought, and I welled up thinking that's all I have left of your. Sissy isn't holding up so well. She isn't her old self. She has this sad look in her eyes, and at night, she cries in the window sill. She misses you very much, and mommy and I still miss you very much too. Please look after Luna. I know I said I would do it, but she just misses you so. We were even thinking of adopting a friend for her, but I don't know that I'm ready for a new cat yet. It feels like I'd be trying to replace you, and no cat could ever do that. Would you be offended if we got Luna a friend? I just don't know what to do. It's so hard being here in your last home, where I'm used to seeing you. I feel heartbroken all over again. I think some part of me forgot you wouldn't be here waiting on me this time. I love you baby.. I don't know that Luna and I will ever be quite the same without you.