How can you put in words the meaning of that special friend that meant the world to you - I know that I will not be able to express and write the true meaning that Cross had in my life, for whatever I try and express - Multiply that times 100 and that was my boy, Cross! Crucificio (Means Cross in Italian) came into my life by chance and I must thank my wife for that; She brought him home as a little guy,Wandering the streets, he was scruffy looking, hair disheveled and frankly looked like a homeless dog that just needed a chance by someone - at the time we already had two dogs and three cats - and due to our living arrangements, did not think that we could keep Cross ( We named him that afterwords) So we kept him outside of our front door that night and gave him food and water - little did we expect that the next day that he would still be there - not only was he still there, but instantly he started to follow me everywhere that I went and quickly bonded with me. We ended up keeping him, naming him Cross and he immediatley became part of our family; From that time on until his passing - wherever I would go, Cross would be by my side; he came to work with me for years - Whoever knew me - knew Cross was my boy - We were inseperable! Through the years there were many changes in our lives, from moving to a different home to new jobs, to rough times within my family to a seperation with my wife, Cross was my constant companion and friend. The years came and gone and there were always strays that me and my wife(we reconciled) would rescue and find homes for, no matter Dog or Cat - Cross was always OK with whoever and welcomed them in until we did find a home for them. As the years got later into my boys life, there were starting to be health issues - I always fed him the top food, always gave him holistic vitamins and took better care of him than myself - by far, But I knew health issues were creeping up. When Cross was about 17 years old He suffered from Vestibular disease; which crushed me at the time - I thought that this was the beginning to the end, he could no longer walk straight and had a constant head tilt - through time and working with him daily - he slowly got a little better and was able to walk on his own again, although he would always have a slight head tilt - he could enjoy life again and be a Dog. He was happy and so was I! More time went on and when he was about 19, he could not use his hind legs anymore - I always promised myself and especially promised him - that when he no longer enjoyed life and it became too hard for him, that no matter how devastating and crushing it would be on me, That I would do the right thing and let him go. At this point although he could no longer walk, he WAS still happy and was still enjoying life. For the next year - I would try everything imaginable to stimulate his back legs with the hope he would walk again; through Hydrotherapy to buying a swimming pool - Heating it and taking him in daily to try and get his legs going again to having a acupuncturist come to the house to work on his legs - he loved it all, but the legs never worked again. I would carry him wherever he wanted to go, We have a Huge grassy yard, and he loved it outside - I would sleep with him outside on the evenings that he preferred to spend the night out there instead of inside, and he would always let me know when he had to go to the bathroom, I would carry him and hold him in a way so he could go and be content. The last two months of Cross's life, I knew it was getter closer - he was losing weight, and his Kidneys started to shut down. He battled on and put on a happy face, I think for me - but the last few days there were too many painful times for him and I could see that the Sparkle in his eye (He only had one eye) was gone. He lived through so many obstacles and fought a tremendous fight - but it was time and we both knew it. The Final evening together, I picked him up and took him outside to his favorite area of the yard and wept to no end and told him that I was so sorry for if anything that I have ever put you through to try and prolong your life ,was not your wish or blessing - that I was truly sorry, I just tried all those things because I just couldn't fathom you not being with me anymore - I know he understood and he kind of looked at me and said - It's OK - but I need to go now. When I held his paw and said good-bye to him, It was truly the hardest thing that I have ever had to do in my life and I Thanked him for being my boy and being my best friend for almost 20 years -The following months did not seem real to me, and I was in a fog - I was just functioning to function; but my Heart was gone - My Boy Cross was gone - I missed our daily walks, I missed our daily talks, I missed throwing ball to him, playing hide and seek with him, I missed watching a Baseball or a football game together, and even at the later years in his life - I truly missed taking care of all of his special needs - Not only did he rely on me for so much - but I relied on him - many people would ask me if I ever regretted all that I sacrificed in the last two years of his life due to he needed constant care - NOT FOR A SECOND; For Cross was truly more than just a pet to me, he taught me more about life than I have ever grasped on my own. It has been over 1 year since he passed, and although time goes on and life moves forward ( Altough it seems unfair that it does) Everyday is still a struggle knowing that he is no longer with me physically - I talk to him daily and carry a picture of him with me always,I still throw his ball out in the yard everyday, and I know he is running after it and getting it - and I still light a candle for him. I know that I will never have a friend and companion like Cross again, but with that said I consider myself the luckiest guy out there for being able TO have a friend and companion like Cross! You wait for me my boy - Til that day arrives - you will always be in my heart and will never be forgotten!!|
I LOVE YOU CROSSY!!!