Dear Cody - I love you so much. You've been an anchor in my life - you have rescued me from many storms, you have given me many days of purpose, so much joy, so much inner peace. Coming home always meant seeing you there, wagging your tail and saying hello in your own way. You never had a bad day, or a bad word to say - you never judged, you never harmed, you never spoke ill, but you loved unconditionally, and faithfully. |
I fear that I am lost without you now - losing you was such a hard choice, but I had to end your suffering because you could not do it for yourself. I know you would have done it for me if you saw me in same way, if you had the same ability, the same power to help. I hope you will forgive me, as I hope that God will not judge my actions as wrong against His will or yours - I simply could not let you suffer any longer. The cancer inside you was everywhere, and you stopped eating and drinking, and it was getting harder to breathe. You could not walk without stopping to fall down every few steps. I worried that perhaps I waited too long, but I always wanted you to tell me what you wanted - if you still ate, if you still drank, if you still walked and wagged, then I knew you still wanted to stay here with me. When you stopped doing those things, it became harder to see if I was being selfish by making you suffer because I would not be strong enough to let you go.
I'm home now, alone without you - desperate for your presence, and grief-stricken, and the only thing that will make it better is if you were back here with me. But you are with God now, and I know that He is keeping you safe and warm, and in a better place than you were this morning. I can't wait to see you again and scratch your back just so so your hind legs go wild, or scratch your ears the way you like it so your head tilts - I miss everything about you already. You were the best dog, the best friend a man could ever have. You were so kind to everyone - you got along with everyone, and everyone LOVED you so much.
I hope you will remember me and tell all your friends in Heaven that you had a good life here on Earth; that you were really loved and cared for, and cherished in so many ways. I hope you are at complete peace and very happy now, not worrying about why your body isn't working the way it used to when you were just a little puppy. I'm sorry that I could not fix the cancer that took your life away from you - I feel robbed of you by this disease, it has no right to take you away from me. Life is going to be so hard without you here - you are so loved, Cody. I miss you. I miss you so very much.