You came to us on May 8, 2010 as a little 3 month old puppy. You were full of energy. Things were good in the house and your big sissy Satin Marie loved you. Elvis wasn't that interested in you of course. June 11, 2011 we rescued yet another boy, Jesse, and you just never got over that, 8 incidents in the 6 years you two were together. You were with us 7 years 7 months and 19 days, not nearly long enough|
December 27, 2017: Another fight with Jesse, the last fight. I had no choice but to send you home to be with Satin Marie, a decision I will regret and beat myself up over for the rest of my life. You were my puppykins, m babykins, my baby baby and my Kid. Most of all though, you were loved dearly. You were also your mommas punk and she misses you terribly. Losing Satin Marie June 1, 2017 was terrible, having to say goodbye to you December 27, 2017 has made things even more despondent here. I failed you Apollo but through it all I never stopped loving you and I never will forget you. I am so sorry it had to come down to what it did and I wish I had never done it. I am so sorry!
January 3, 2018: It's been one week and the pain is so raw. I can't stop blaming myself. I wish I had changed my mind and turned around and brought you back home. I should have given you another chance. I'll never forgive myself and I feel as if I chose Jesse over you but my mind knows that was and is not the case.
January 5, 2018: I brought your remains home today. It was our last truck ride together. I miss you so much, nothing is ever going to be the same without you. I just want you to know that it wasn't your fault and that you didn't do anything wrong. I failed you in the worst way, I was supposed to protect you and I didn't.
January 10, 2018: 2 weeks now and things are getting a bit easier. Jesse lays where you used to, a lot. I know he misses you and wonders where you are when he goes outside. It's not the same Kid and it never will be. I ordered an engraved stone for you, like the one Satin and Molly have on their final resting places. Although you are in the house with us, I will place your stone next to Satins, which is how she would have wanted it. I miss you terribly kid. I loved you so much and I always will.
January 17, 2018: 3 weeks and I still miss you terribly. I keep beating myself up over my decision, no matter how much I try to tell myself it was for the best, because deep down inside I don't believe it was. I should've given you one more chance baby baby. I am so sorry Apollo.
January 19, 2018: Your memorial stone came today but I haven't opened it yet. EDIT: It's beautiful!
January 24, 2018: 4 weeks and noting has changed. It's not the same letting the other two boys outside, it's too calm now.
January 27, 2018: One month now since you've been gone, since I did what I had to do, at least I keep telling myself that. I miss you so much Kid, I failed you, miserably, and I can't and won't forgive myself. I just want to hold that face of yours and give you kisses. I'm only going to write here each month but I will always come and visit you, make changes as the seasons change. Of course, your birthday is around the corner so I have to be here then. I always loved you and I always will baby baby.
February 8, 2018: Today would have been your 8th birthday. All the other birthdays seemed to just come and go. I wish I had celebrated them with you as I should have with all the other kids and now it's too late. I miss you terribly baby baby. Happy Birthday to my kid.
February 27, 2018: It's been two months now kid and the pain has not left me or the guilt. I miss you so much and I cannot forgive myself.
March 27, 2018: It's been 3 months now since you left me and it still isn't getting better. I wish I could undue what I had to do because I miss you so damn much kid.
April 27, 2018: Another month passes by without you, 4 months now since I sent you to the Meadow. I am so sorry baby baby, I really wish I had given you one more chance. The house is so quiet and too relaxed without you here but I know I did what was best for everyone. I love you so much kid.
May 27, 2018: It's been five lonely months now since I had to let you go and it isn't any easier. Another month down to endless months without you my baby baby. I feel so horrible for what I did, what I know I had to do, not just for you but for everyone here. I feel your presence almost everyday and miss you terribly.
June 27, 2018: It's been six months and not a day goes by that I am not thinking about you and of course, crying.
July27, 2018: Seven months, where has the time gone? I wish I could go back to that evenig in December. Perhaps if I had gotten home sooner, or if I had gone out the gate to take out the trash. I feel so guilty when I am paying attention to Jesse, and of course I think of you always. You were and always will be my Kid, my babykins, my puppykins.
August 27, 2018: 8 months and not a day goes by that I hate myself for doing what I did, regardless of the fact I had no choice. I loved you so much and still do and always will. I miss you so terribly. I am so sorry for breaking my promise of never forsaking you. Please forgive me!
September 27, 2018: 9 months and still missing you so terribly. I know Elvis is there with you and Satin. He was in so much pain that we had to send him to you both September 12, 2018. I'll never forgive myself for what I did and I wish I could bring you back to me.
October 27, 2018: 10 months and I still miss you so very much. The guilt gets to be a bit overwhelming at times and not a day goes by that I am not crying.