I want to tell you also that I'm so, so proud of you. You were so brave, and you have been so courageous... Back in August, when cancer befell you, no one would have bet on one more day of life for you. They wanted to put you down right there and then. But I know you, and I knew you weren't ready to go. We were both not ready. And, you told me, too. In your own way, because I know you by heart. You let me know in no uncertain terms that it wasn't your time yet. Not once, but twice. And so we fought, together, against all odds. I begged you to hang in there and stay with me, and that I would everything I could to help you and get better. And it happened. Between the sometimes grueling visits at the vet, the two, sometimes three injections a day I had to give you, and the countless hours dad helped you eat, little by little, morcel by morcel, feeding you by hand for a tenuous ten days, you slowly came back from that pit you had fell in. And once you felt better, we started the happiest three months we ever had together, full of hugs, pettings, kissing, talking, and you becoming a shrimps vacuum for a good long while, my beautiful girl :) Diet fitting a princess, right?

We had such a marvelous time since September. You know, I shouldn't say that, but I bless confinement every day. That has allowed daddy to be with you at all hours of day and night, watching over you, helping you out when you needed it, and simply got drunk with contentment over each other's presence. I shudder to think how it all would have gone if I had to leave you alone for hours every day. We made the most of what supplementary time we had been given together. My beautiful kid, I can't tell you how much I'm proud of you.

But the monster came back with a vengeance, and left you no chance. Trying to trick it away one more time resulted in failure, and I saw you diminishing with every passing day, which broke my heart, even if I was still trying the impossible to repel the beast. I couldn't bear to lose you then, and I can't now either.
I'm at least thankful that your departure was peaceful... You were at the end of your strength, but still there, and holding you close in my arms while you went away was the least I could do for you. My darling girl, you had lost your health, but I couldn't let that horrible thing make you lose your dignity. Dad sent you to the rainbow bridge before that could happen. Still... The moment I felt your breathing just stop, will haunt me forever. I am sorry I could not do more, my beloved kid.

Also I have to apologize to you... At times I haven't been the best of dads, alas. It's all the little things you think about when it's too late. Like when you came for a petting, and it wasn't the right moment as I was selfishly busy with something, things like that. Things you regret forever, as by now I would give ten years for a minute with you. I'm sorry, darling. I wish I hadn't done that, and paid more attention to your wishes while it was time to do so. I cannot get that back... That, also, will haunt me. Especially remembering how much you displayed your own love, sometimes head butting me to the point I had to recoil a bit, so strong was your natural love, my angel.
That goes for your little brother that you missed so much, too. Tell him I love him, and that I miss him terribly.

I adore you more than I can ever say, and it is a privilege that I've had you in my life. I miss your eyes, your smell, the softness of you fur where I used to kiss you (that is, most everywhere), your voice... Everything.
On Monday, life became notably less beautiful, and the longing for the rainbow bridge that much stronger...

I love you from the bottom of my heart,
Your daddy.

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My dear darling girl... Today was the last day I will ever see you in this life. No matter what the cost to me, I owed it to you to make that trip to the Crematorium, see you and kiss you one very last time, before I could never touch or kiss your sweet soft beautiful fur ever again. And bring you back home myself, with the deep, bitter pit of regret with me all along. That was the least I could do, and more to the point, the last thing I could ever do for you as well.
And now what's left of you, in that tiny urn, is on the bedside table, right beside me. And here you will stay. As close to me as I can make it.
Watch over me, from where you are, and please forgive your dad for all he couldn't or didn't do. I can rest a tiny bit easier now that you're back here, with me, but it will be a long, long time before I can function again normally without you. I will never get over it, but in time, I will have to live with it...
I love you, my darling.

My beloved girl, wait for me...
See you soon,
Your daddy.