Back in 98 I came across this little white kitten, mostly skin and bons covered with fleas and ready to get a home. I took him in and made him flea free, fed him with a bottle since he was that little. I could count on Otis for anything, someone to talk to and though he may not be able to talk back or tell me his opinion I always knew just by his look he was listening.
There was times he was so silly and would chase me when he wanted to play and act as if he was a kitten all over again. I would run and jump on the couch or bed and there he was on my heals. There was a time when Otis had gotten a fever even though I never knew it was a fever he laid under the bed and just wouldn't eat and my thoughts were well if he is going to pass away at least he is at home and comfortable this went on for a few days before I said I don't want him to go and took him to the vet and the vet run all the tests he could and found that he had a fever gave him some medicine to bring it down and he was back to his old self.
The one thing I can say about Otis is he got very protective of me through the years he growled and even bit people that came around he was my attack cat, so much he even bit the vet when he tried to check him out. I guess if someone wanted to put a thermometer in places I didn't want I would bite them to.
I can say so much about Otis and his great life he gave me I can truely say he was and still is the best cat I have ever owned. I would go to bed at night and there he was to cuddle, I gave him a bath and a few hours later there he was wanting love. I guess I have to face reality when he started getting sick. I know he may have had something in life that may have been cureable but my funds were not there to give him all the treatment he may have needed. He recently started drinking alot of water using the bathroom alot and throwing up after he ate most of the time. Just the other day he recieved a bath and we seen lots of freakle like spots all over him and he never goes outside he wouldn't leave my side. I know they were not caused by the sun so something was wrong with him and it wasn't going to get better by itself.
The begining of this week I had it on my mind when I was working or sitting at home watching him get sick after eating just a few bites of food and it bothered me to see him go through this made me think why am I hurting him when all he has ever shown me was love. Well as the week went on my thoughts were there with him thinking will he hate me or will he love me for taking and making him feel better.
Yesterday which was the 22nd I came to a decision it was time for him to feel better where he could eat and not get sick no more. I came home from work and looked at him he was so beautiful and it hurt for me to make that choice I wanted to be there alone with him just the way we met alone. I picked him up in my arms and out the door I went. I told the vet that he had been getting sick almost everyday and he had freakle like spots on him I also said I didn't want the vet to come in and try to change my mind that I didnt have the funds to give treatmeants. At this point I already was in the room with him out the cage and he was giving me all kinds of love I am not sure if he was saying thank you or not. The vet told me that the shot will tranquilize him and from there they would take him to the back to give the other medicine to make him sleep forever.
I held him the whole time waiting for the drug to take affect. I sat there for what seemed like hours talking to him and looking at him he was not responsive he was quite the vet came in and said they would be back I cried so very hard the pain still is there. they took him to the back and put him on the heart monitor to watch him leave and I couldn't see this I wanted to be there and tell him I was sorry and I couldn't they soon came in the room with a box and he was in it sleeping forever. I wanted so badly to make him feel better now I hurt. I spent so much time with him and bottle fed him I feel as if I did the right thing bgut my heart says I didn't. This morning I buried him in my back yard I even opened the box to lift him out to hold him one last time. He is now at rest in my backyard but not in my heart.
I loved him so very much and still do that when I look on my bed or couch he is missing. I have not the energy to do anything even knowing it has to be done. I am not sure that is normal but I am depressed I am trying so hard to imagine him there and his meows and his loving attention he had given me it is eating at me so much it hurts. I hope that one day we will meet in heaven and be together once more to see him eating and playing is what I want so badly.