twenty five years ago i bought a young thoroughbred gelding off the track as an investment horse.Who would have thought it would turn out to be a lifetime of love and commitment.Our relationship lasted longer than two marriages and three children.Ok, the second marriage is still good and the kids aren't going anywhere.Had it not been for a series of tragic events , Teddy would still be here too. August 28,2005 saw hurricane Katrina taking dead aim at St. Bernard parish where we lived.All the other times we evacuated with the animals in tow.This time however would be devastatingly different. two weeks before the storm my children were in a car accident in our truck.A man ran a redlight and broadsided our truck. Our 20 yr old son was driving with a friend and our daughter and her two friends were in the backseat. They were only slightly injured thanks to our son's handling of the truck.So when the storm approached the truck was in the shop,leaving us with a horse trailer and nothin to pull it with. I was insistent on staying behind after sending the kids out of harms way. We battened down the hatches, boarded up the windows and doors and settled in for the evening. Sunday morning,the 28th, my husband's brother called at 5 Am to tell us the storm had changed course and was headed straight for us.We hurriedly packed treasures into plastic bins and placed them upstairs. i went to the barn to feed Teddy and lock up. I fixed his breakfast and fed him, then fixed his P.M. feed so the barn manager could feed later. I hugged and kissed Teddy and thanked him for all those years,not fully believing I would not see him in just a few days. I can still feel his soft coat and smell his sweet breath.Then I left.I ran like a coward to the safety of another town and left him to be swept away.I hate myself and would gladly have died with him.We have not found his body. The other 35 horses have been found,all dead, but no Teddy. I have to release him so we can go on, but I deserve this heartache. I feel stupid to be like this when others lost people they loved, but I can't help it. I keep hoping against all odds that he made it out,but this is irrational.Once,a few weeks after the storm,my husband and I were driving and I felt and smelled Teddy as if he were in the car with us. I know he came to tell me good-bye.This is the first I can write of him so I know this is the first step to healing. I also know that I will see him again.I will never forget my beautiful champion on whose back I would fly. God keep my boy.