by jennifer lawrence
Dear Sweet Little Maddie:
Goodbye, We love you Always
Losing Winston was one of the hardest things I had ever endured. I swore I would never give my heart to another animal ever again. Then, four years later you came into my life Maddie. I'm not sure how long you were with us before I became your captive, heart and soul. I think it was after you had been with us a couple of weeks-you came tearing into the office and bounded into my arms-nuzzleing me with your nose and hugging me with your paws-you seemed to be saying, "Oh mommy, I love you so much, thank you for bringing me here to live with you and dad." At the time, I was unaware of what was happening to me, it was such a subtle take over, a very powerful and lasting one. My friends Jan and Terry had been telling me for years that a rescue was just what I needed. Time and again they told me how appreciative, loving and downright grateful rescues are when they find loving homes. No one could ever explain to another this kind of gratitude and devotion. One just has to be on the receiving end of it to experience such a deep satisfying love as this. You made me love you so much Maddie, made me love you so hard. You grabbed hold of my heart and made me your slave. You showed me every day of our short time together how much you appreciated getting another chance at life. I will never understand why you were taken from us. As I write this, so many precious memories come back to me. You were my little baby rose, so delicate and fragile. You were such a good sport, so willing to try anything as long as it involved you, me and dad. I recall the first couple of months you were with us, we never left you. Either dad or I were in your company at all times. I was getting up at 5:30 am a couple of mornings a week to go to the gym-you would get up and go with me, waiting patiently in the car. Then, one morning you followed me half way down the stairs, stopping on the landing, you looked into my face, yawned really big and said, "Mom, do you think you can make it on your own this morning? I'm really tired and I would just like to stay in bed with dad." I was so excited! I laughed and cried all the way to the gym-I saw that as such a huge step. You were beginning to feel safe and secure in your environment and with your people. Trusting that we would always be here to care for you and keep you safe. None of us had any way of knowing then that one day I would let you down. That day was the beginning of a whole new way of life for us. You no longer cared to go wait in the car if we were going to dinner-you trusted we would be back. You could lie down and nap with both eyes closed, secure in the knowledge that we would never leave the house without first letting you know and giving you the choice to join us. You were you're most happiest when the three of us were all together. We had a few really nice vacations , just the three of us-you getting all our attention. You flourished under the lamp of all the love we showered on you, and we got so much more. We had needed you for a long time. I think we knew that too-but we had to wait for you to call us. To think that we might have missed the dance with you is more than I can fathom- I will treasure the year we had always and keep you always close to my heart. The memory of you and our times together will remain fresh in my thoughts for eternity. As hard as living without you is, I would rather have had one year with you, then never have known and loved you at all- You were and always will be my sweet little sugar-
We don't know the circumstances surrounding your leaving that fateful day, nor the fear you endured between then and the day you breathed your last breath. Those were horrible tragic days, they all ran together-and will haunt me all the days of my life-I still cannot bare that you are gone,cannot bare that I will never again hold your little face in my hands, or watch with delight as your little body runs to catch the ball. My heart aches and the nights are so hard-I really thought that as long as I left the gargae door up, all the lights on and stayed up waiting for you-that you would come home-but I was so wrong-
My heart is broken and so is Dad's. We miss you more than words can express-we will live with your memory forever Maddie, keeping you always close to our hearts- You brought us more joy in the year you were with us than we felt we were capable of ever having again-Thank you for giving us that year-Thank you for allowing us the pleasure of loving you and the happiness that came with being your mom and dad.
We know that you are safe and happy at the Bridge with Winston and Nikki and all the other Bridgekids-Have fun while you are waiting for us to join you-We love you forever and ever and ever-
Mom and Dad