It all began June 1994. Our deal was made. I got the car of my dreams and he got the dog, Tristan. I had all these rules that we were going to follow in regards to "the dog". Well, it did not take long for these rules to be broken. I came to realize that I got the car and the dog. From the very beginning, I sacificed all lot of my time to be with Tristan. I gave up every single lunch for 2 years to be there for him. My co-workers would ask all the time for me to go out for lunch with them and I'd say sorry gotta go home. Luckily for him I had my first child in 1996 and have been home ever since. He had a bad start to begin with. He had a resesed testicle,a hernia,and he was diagnosed with hip dyplasia by the age of 2. At the time, there was a new drug out for hip dyplasia patients called Rymidal. We were told that because it was so new that later on in life the meds could do internal damage. We had the option of hip replacement. We did not want to put him through that so we went for the pills. Life was great right up until 2003. He would run like the wind. It was his duty as a sheltie to herd the airplanes in the sky. He had to get some teeth extracted. Going under at this point was not a good thing because he almost didn't recover from it. From about then on he'd get sick pretty much once and the beginning of the year and again at the end of the year. We did test after test and it would be inconclusive. Actually, that's not true he had a underactive thyroid and was put on meds. Feb/2004, he got so sick that we had to hospitalize him and he was put on iv. He was in from Saturday to Monday. I felt so helpless and heart broken when I went to visit him that Saturday night. I was pretty much mourning his death. The vet wasn't sure if he was going to make it. After doing more tests they discovered he had a disease called cushings disease. They were quite optimistic because we now could give him meds for that. Now at this point he was on a total of 4 pills daily. The pain killer, thyroid, a stomach pill and one for cushings.(cushings he took 1-2 times a week. These pills had to be given a certain times with/without food. It was an adjustment but we made it routine. I'm amazed because now that I'm writing my thoughts I can't remember things from this point to the last year of his live. I do know that we was in and out of the vet alot. Test after test. I also remember at some point taking him off the pain killer because the vet thought that it was affecting his liver. But that was not an option. After about the 4th day he could not function. I mean he could not walk period. We were amazed that this pill did so much. That brings us to the beginning of 2005. Again, when I say he'd get sick-he'd either not eat,have the runs, or vomit. He went through some good periods and some bad. August 2005, we noticed some spots that grew on his belly. They were open sores that would scab over. They were in his elbows too. Again we had some tests done. Fearing that his liver was affected. The tests showed that the liver was ok. Over time he got picky about what he ate. In the past it didn't matter what you fed him, he was forever grateful. The sores got pretty bad, they started coming out around his anus. Diarreah would set in and we'd have to hose him down every time he went. We are now in Oct. and many additions pills added he was not getting better. We finally decided that he needed a biopsy to determine what exactly was wrong with him. The news was horrible. He had end stage liver disease. The vet told us that he had 2-6 months to live. 6 being a miracle. But in order for him to live that long we had to look at other alternatives. Our wonderful vet had looked into options, talking to other vets who specialized in liver disease. We had him to the vet every other week pumping amino acids into him to prolong his life. This wasn't a cure but it would give him more time to live. We knew he wouldn't be around for much longer but we wanted him to live comfortably as long as possible. Well, it didn't work. He became extremely ill at the end of Nov. He wasn't eating at all or drinking.
I had to suringe him baby food and water. At this point, he was up to 9 pills a day. It had been a month since I heard him bark. We knew that this was the end and we tried everything medically possible. Money could not buy his life anymore. Work was so busy for my husband at this time so we decided that Dec 8/06 was the day that we had to say goodbye. The last four days of his life I laid beside him on the kitchen floor. Day and night. It was so hard for my second child, my four year old, to understand why mommy paid no attention to him. All I could focus on was my first baby who was lying there with nothing in him left to give. He always overcame his illnesses but this time he couldn't. I spent all my time sobbing and hugging and kissing him. Dec 8 came. We had scheduled the vet for 12:00 to come and put him out of absolute misery. He hadn't gone to the bathroom in 2 days and his body stopped accepting food 5 days ago. He would throw up 1 ml of water. At this point he was up to 14 pills a day. Our vet was wonderful. She actually told us over a week before she went on holidays that if we needed to bring him in for anything do not hesitate. At first I didn't know exactly what she meant by that but at the end I realized that she knew something bad was coming. She had also said in the past that he would never go on his own. Another vet that worked at the clinic that knew Tristan very well,(he was in and out so ofter everyone knew who he was and loved him dearly)came to the house to do what needed to be done. We had prepared the kids as much as we could but it really didn't sink in until the door bell rang. My daughter went upstairs screaming with fear. The vet asked if she could talk to her. We said of course. When she came down it hit me like nothing has ever hit me before. I laid on the floor as she explained what was going to happen. I couldn't stop but crying and kissing his head. I told him over and over again that he will always be my little boy and that I love him so much. When his eyes closed my body was drained with the emotions that I had left in me. He was gone just like that. The vet had asked a couple of times-"I just want to be clear, you do not want the remains." We both agreed. She left our house with our baby. A day went by and I talked to my best friend and my mom. And they said, are you getting his remains." And said no and that I don't know if I could handle it. I also said I hope I don't regret it. Something told my wonderful husband that he should change his mind and get his remains. He came home that Friday and I said to him that I hope I don't regret not getting his remains. He surprised me and said don't worry I got them. I wrapped my arms around him tightly and said thank you. I had never been so grateful about anything else. The day I picked up his remains our vet had given us the most wonderful gift of all. The last week that he had treatment she obviously knew that he wasn't going to make it-she made a clay paw print of him for us. We were so touched. His urn sits on top of the entertainment centre along with his paw print and pictures of him. It is March 11/06, 3 months past his death and I can't stop crying. I've had some weird experiences over the last 3 months. It all started right after I brought him home. For some reason, I held the urn close to me and smelled it. I could smell him. He had this perfumy smell at the top of his head. Days would go by and I thought this was in my head. I would continue to smell it. One day I asked my husband to smell it-I told him that I could smell Tristan. My husband said that he could not smell anything. I took the urn back and smelled it for myself. I could not believe it, it no longer smelled. A part of me thought Ok it is all in your head, your smelling something else but the other part thought why did I say anything because now it is gone. A couple of weeks passed and still no smell. And then it came back. I don't think that it is in my head but that distinctive smell comes and goes. I sat on the couch the other night and without thinking of him I could smell that smell. That distinctive smell hit me in the face. Again, I think to myself that it is in mind. I wasn't even thinking of him at the time. I also had something else strange happen. Near the end of Tristan's life, he could no longer get up quickly. He would continue to lay at the front door so when we came home we would open the door and there would be a thud. Poor Tristan could not get up fast enough. 2 days ago not thinking of him at all I opened the front door and could feel a force that ever so slightly stopped me from opening the door. He popped in my head immediately. I don't know, I hope that it is not all in my head. I want to believe that he is with me. 3 months have gone by and I still can't believe he is gone. There are some days that I just can't shake. I cry and cry.
This story is so sad but I felt the need to tell his story because he was a miracle. So much happened to him the last 3 years of his life I know that I have forgotten more than I wrote. He was loved so much by us and others. He truly fought to the bitter end.

We love you so much Tristan. Your dad and I continue to struggle with your furry body not being around. S & P miss you so much too. I read something today that is so true of my feelings for you-"I dropped a tear in the ocean. When I find it I will stop missing you."

With much love, Mom