by Joshua Whiting
Ode To Our Lovely Cat – Moose
DREADED MORTALITY
As you lie on the foot of the bed breathing heavily, struggling to swallow, I look at you with tears and heartfelt emotions throughout my body. We are fortunate and blessed that you came into our life and filled it with many joyous moments of delight and play. You are the best and the most kingly of the felines. How we wish that we could make a clone of you Moose!
The horrible inevitability of mortality renders me hopeless, helpless and a feeling of screaming in the wilderness and wrenching my soul to the cruelty of life. But for you, Moosie, I must and will focus Positively!
Carolina, to whom you truly belong is coping more strongly than I. In spite of her emotional fragility, she is as strong as the rock of Gibraltar. If she should pass on before me, I would surely follow shortly thereafter. Oh, dreaded mortality, why do you come stealing through the night bearing a vessel on your shoulders containing the elixir of death.
Oh, dreaded religions of the world, why do you deceive humanity in believing there is a heavenly paradise, Valhalla or thereafter? Does humanity need this grand deception? Are we such pitiful creatures, that this brief life span should be clouded with religious deception? God, do you think I am doubting your existence? You damn right I am! Too much killing, too much suffering, too much disease, too many horsemen of the apocalypses, where are you God?.
Like Omar Khayam, the Persian poet, I too “sent my soul into the invisible - some glimpse of the after life to spell; And by and by my soul returned to me and answered, I myself am Heaven and Hell! I, myself, am Heaven and Hell!”
Yes, Moosie my buddy, it is you who provokes this catharsis, this mental abreaction, this festering of thoughts and questions simmering in my brain. What does it all mean Moose? This emerging into life, full of positive energy, robust, playful, curious, self-contained, waiting and whining at the door around 5 and 6 pm each day anticipating the arrival of Carolina, or running toward the door whenever I take the keys from the drawer. Always purring, ever attentive and appreciative of being loved, waking us in the morning demanding to be fed, getting mad at me for combing your beautiful fur; running out the door when we come in, waiting for me at the elevator while I get the mail. A companion extraordinaire! Sitting majestic-like by the window in the car as we drive down to Cape May; cars passing us on the road looking at you with admiration; your playfulness with Tiger will always be remembered; jumping in your homemade tree by the window watching the birds intensely as they fly about; watching us with a tranquil gaze as Carolina and I do Tai Chi; standing like a stallion on your two feet for your food; rebounding from past surgeries con mucho gusto. Yes, blessed are the precious memories of you, Moose. Nature gave you life, health, beauty, a unique character, much energy and a disease which shortened your life span. How cruel of Nature! How cruel!
And then, out of the abyss of nowhere, a precious life is snatched and altered. It really hurts Moosie. It really hurts with a dull ache that we’ll never again be able to hold you close, converse, watch the birdies, and talk baby talk of kisses and licks, wrestle and romp with you.
February 6, 2002 - Hope springs eternal, a spark of hope, a little light at the end of the tunnel. Rebound, Rebound, Rebound – the news today - you are still hanging in and making demands. We welcome the news with enthusiasm. Keep trying, Moose, Keep trying, we worship your effort.
February 7, 2002 – Lost for words! Our Moosie gave up the breath of life. Oh, God, who are you? Where are you and what are you? I feel you are just a figment of the imaginations of a lost humanity.
Farewell, Moosie! If there is a hereafter, we’ll see you soon, If not, your image and spirit shall live on in our living heart and soul – never forgotten. Never forgotten! Oh, enigmatic memory, with your elusive nature slipping in and out of the mind, please hold steady for Moosie! Always hold steady for Moose!