by Marci Urban
If only I had been there to stop her, to hold her, to remind her that only I can love her as much I do. Why did she leave? If only she had thought of me first.
People say that you can get over a loss at least within a year. But it's already past a year, and I still mourn over you, girl. I still remember the day I found you on the road as a puppy, you were whining and looking at me with those giant brown eyes with the words reflecting in them, 'Take me home.' I still remember I kept you in that small box, embedded with lace and silk cloth, where you had a good sleep after dinner. I forgot what I fed you, quite sorry, but I'm sure you remember. Or not, whatever...But still, you were a good pup. I loved taking you out for walks and wrestling with you. I was only in 3rd or 4th grade, but now i'm in 7th. Did God send you down to me? I always wondered about that. He probably did, since you were only loyal to me and you proved it, girl! You sure did! But I still don't think the best way for revenge is to poop on mom's bed, so don't do it again! I bet you've turned into a fine young lady now, with a husband and probably lots of friends that support you. I have friends too. They're all jealous of me because I'm one of the most popular girls in the school, but I'm probably not the prettiest. Okay, we're off the subject again, I seem to always do that when I talk to you huh? I still remember when you saved my life and you still didn't want a reward for it. You're a good friend, little sister. That car was going pretty fast huh? I'm sorry I ignored you when you pulled on your leash and whined for me to move. But I want to thank you, kind sister, for pulling me out of the way before I could've died. I owe you my life. I bet God DID send you down for me, eh? Yeah, you were my angel dog. You still are, mind you! But after you got so big, the apartment seemed to shrink. You were always fiesty and wanting to go run, so we had to send you to Grandma's house. You really liked it there, did you? I would visit during summer vacation and we would play hide 'n' seek. You never learned how to hide, but that's okay because you were a pretty good seeker anyways. But as my mother said, some things can't last forever. I can still remember the shock when the phone call came. You were gone, running off with a boy. But that's what they say. Is that true, little sister? You sent a lightning bolt of pain down my spine and I felt like screaming. Even when I returned to Grandma's house in Taiwan, you're still not there. They've adopted a huge black dog now, but he still isn't as good as you. Furballs, you really were an angel dog and you were my little sister. What have I done wrong that made you run off like that? I want you back...I want you back, little sister.
I love you.
~Big Sister~