by Dad's Tribute
I thought I had seen...no, experienced the worst of mankind's hate and distrust. As a result I knew...I knew, that I would never allow myself to love any one thing ever again. I held to that promise, and became a hardened fortress against anything that could hurt my heart or spirit again. I responded to any hurt with anger and defiance...and with a passion that only years of anger and defiance could have created. I thought I could love...I thought I did love...but I came to know it was only to a certain point...and my family and those around me were consistantly locked out without conscious effort on my part. I learned how not to love. There was a point, and when I reached that point where the scars from old wounds would be exposed, the anger and defiance unerringly came to my rescue, I never believed that I could ever feel, or even wanted to know how, to give of my heart completely ...and even more unlikely...willingly.
But I came to know how love can win. I came to know how it can never lose. I came to know through the lessons of a wonderful gift, that special gift...that unlikely source that my defences never seen coming. The lessons of my dog
Lessons that came through "that look in his ears" as my son coined...or a nose that would suddenly be there, that could never be resisted. Lessons that came with the quiet strength he never once failed to communicate... clearly, but ever so gently. The perfect mediator through the hardest and saddest, and in my case the angriest of times. He never failed to step forward to the task, and he never had more allegiance to any one person over the other. That included anyone else within OR outside the family. Didn't matter. Where there was pain or anguish he was there...administered through a tail that nothing could stop...and nothing ever did...nor as I realize now - ever will. Simply defied logic in dog or human terms. In our struggles of the heart...he won...unconditonally...accepting my surrender while basking in the warmth it gave all who knew me...and me.
So now I sit here typing what I, in a past time, would have considered goofy and silly. I now know how to love completely again and thus will always feel all other emotions more completely...except one. I owe this to a dog. A dog. My heart is completely asunder but stronger than ever...I have been made completely vunerable...and I am the luckiest man alive to feel so indebted for doing so. Thank you for a job well done WhiskeyDawg. ..and thank you for making our family so happy and stronger.