PANDA 9/12/2012-11/25/25

Panda was my beautiful brindle boxer, my girl of fifteen remarkable years, and the sweetest soul I’ve ever known. She loved the simple joys of life—fresh cucumbers, crisp apples, crunchy carrots, cookies, and pup cups that made her whole face brighten. But more than anything, she loved being by my side. Whether she was riding with me in my truck or curling up against me at night, she never missed a chance to be close. She was a Velcro dog in every sense: completely devoted, entirely loyal, and always watching to make sure I was okay.

At night, Panda would press herself as close as she possibly could, giving a comfort that was deeper than words. Her warmth, her breathing, the way she settled her body against mine—it made the world feel safer. That closeness wasn’t just habit; it was love. She stayed beside me through everything a human can possibly go through. Every hardship, every loss, every joy, every moment of my life—Panda was there. She never let me walk alone.

Before Panda, I had only ever had boy dogs, all of whom I loved with my whole heart. But Panda was my first girl dog, and she touched a part of me that no one else has ever reached. She opened a new space in my heart, one that belonged entirely to her—a quiet, deep, irreplaceable connection. That is why I hurt so much now. Because the bond we shared wasn’t ordinary. It was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love.

Panda followed me everywhere, not out of neediness, but out of devotion. She believed it was her job to make sure I was okay, and she took that job seriously every day of her life. And I tried, with everything in me, to do the same for her—to keep her safe, loved, and comforted for all her years.

Now, as I prepare a memorial for her—her ashes, her paw print, her memory—I hold onto the truth that she will always be part of me. Her loyalty, her sweetness, her steady presence… those things don’t fade. They stay. They shape you. And Panda shaped me in ways I’ll carry forever.

My sweet girl, my constant companion, my heart—thank you for every moment. Thank you for loving me as fiercely as I loved you. Run free now, Panda. And stay close in spirit. I’ll be looking for you in all the small, quiet places where love still lingers.