Memories of Steve
by Sharon
March 1, 2014
Hi Baby,
Already the first of the month. Here I am Steve, thinking of you always, and missing you every day. In two months you will have been gone for six years. It's hard to believe it's been that long. We're still hanging in there, doing the best we can. I cant really think of anything new to write, and I'm sorry about that. One day is the same as the next for me, since I don't work anymore, and don't leave home that much. Your buddy has a new job, getting different experience, and Cooper just had his fifth birthday. As for me, I spend a lot of time making things. I have to stay busy. I often think about how I would have loved to have been able to quit working when you were still with us, so I could have spent as much time with you, as I do with him. It would be nice to turn back the time, ad do things differently. If only we could. We love you baby, and always will, and miss you every day. I'll be writing more tomorrow, when I put you in the candle lighting ceremony. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

April 1, 2014
Hi Baby,
I don't know what's wrong with me lately, but I almost forgot to write to you tonight. Must be getting old. Next month will be your six year marker, still cant believe it's been that long ago. I sure do miss you Steve, and love you so much. We had so many wonderful years together, just wish you were still here with us. Not sure you would much like Cooper, as you wouldn't want to share the love, but he's a sweetheart just like you, and a very silly boy. We're still trying to hang in there. Your Buddy has a new job, but doesn't like it. I'm hoping he can find a job closer to home soon. I don't work anymore, so I'm home with Cooper every day. I sure wish I could have been able to stay home with you like this. Well baby, I don't know what to write. I just love and miss you very much, and always will. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

May 1, 2014
Hi Steve,
Your mama is really sick right now, so I don't feel like writing very much. I just wanted to let you know that we haven't forgotten that today is your six years in Heaven. We miss you every day, and always will. You were and always will be our sweet little angel and we love you with all our hearts. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

June 1, 2014
Hi Baby,
I just added you to the candle lighting ceremony for tomorrow. I miss you Steve, every day. May 1st was six years at Rainbow Bridge for you. I can remember that last day, like it was yesterday. You was so sick, and only ate a couple of bites of your favorite food.......chicken. I just knew that God would once again answer our prayers, and you would be okay. Oh how I wish he would have. What a horrible night we both had. Thank you so much for all the wonderful loving years you gave to us, and for the special sign you showed me that night. You will never be forgotten Steve, and will always be in our hearts forever. We love you so much. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

July 1, 2014
Hi Baby,
I just want you to know you are never going to be forgotten, and we sure do love and miss you. I'm sorry this is so short, but I'm not feeling well, and need to lay down. Love, Mama and Buddy

August 1, 2014
Hi Baby,
Here I am again on the first of the month. I never forget about you sweet boy. Wish you were here in my lap and snuggling with me at bedtime. I miss you Steve. I hope when it's my time to leave this world, that the Lord will let me be with you again. Cooper use to sleep with me every other night, but now he sleeps with your Buddy, whereas you always slept with me. It's ok though. He misses him when he's been gone to work and away from him for so many hours. You were more of a Mama's baby. We love you so much, and miss you every day. Don't forget about us. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

September 1, 2014
Well Baby,
It's been a crazy day today. I fell through a chair that should have been thrown out months ago, and your Buddy glued his self to a popsicle stick. Hahaha! When it rains it pours, lol! Hoping for less excitement tomorrow, lol! Not much going on around here. I've had a lot of bad days with not feeling good, and your Buddy is working at a place he doesn't like. Cooper grows sweeter each day, like you. Well, that's about all I can think of writing, other than we love and miss you with all our hearts. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

October 1, 2014
Hi Baby,
Already the first of the month. This year is going by quickly. I sure do love you Steve, and think of you always. It's been a long time since you sent me a sign. Sure wish you would send me one, unless of course you sent me all those dragonflies. Every time I see one, I always think they are from you. Please never forget us, no matter how long it's been. We will always love you forever and miss you very much. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

December 1, 2014
Hi Baby,
I always write to you on the first of the month, since that's when you left us. It's one of my ways to let you know you are not forgotten.
I feel sad this time of year with Christmas coming in a few weeks, and we don't have you or gifts for each other. I just wish it was over with. We do good to pay our rent and the bills, and food is always way too expensive, so I was unable again this year to save for Christmas. I remember when you was still with us, we always had Christmas, and after you went to Heaven, we didn't have Christmas for four years, but for the last two years we not been able to buy for one another, just Cooper. Sad times........it use to be my favorite holiday. I wish you were here Steve, just wish you were here with us. We love you so much and miss you every day. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

December 25, 2014
Merry Christmas in Heaven Steve. I hope you had a wonderful time with all your friends there. We didn't have a Christmas again this year, but Cooper had a great time. We sure do love you and miss you very much. It's so hard to believe you left us over six years ago. I think about you every night when I tell you your bedtime prayer. I hope you still listen for it, like you always use to do. Don't forget about us baby. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

January 2, 2015
Hi Baby,
I'm a day late, by an hour. I thought of writing you earlier, but I got so busy with fixing New Years dinner, that I forgot. I'm sorry, but at least I'm not too late. Happy New Year in Heaven Steve. We never celebrate it anymore. The fireworks always scared you, and they scare Cooper. We're always so glad when people stop. Not much to tell you, we are just boring, lol! We miss you of course, and wish you were still with us. We will never forget you Steve. You took a part of our hearts with you to Heaven. We love you very much, and would love to get a sign from you letting us know you are always here. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

February 1, 2015
Hi Steve,
It's getting harder and harder trying to think of something to write to you. I don't know why that is, unless it's because nothing changes around here, and I don't have anything interesting to talk about. I'm sorry I'm not very creative. I just want you to know that you're not forgotten and we love and miss you very much. It will be seven years on May 1st. Time goes by so fast. I'm sorry about this being such a short note sweety. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

March 1, 2015
Hi Baby,
Just put you in for the ceremony tomorrow night. This time around, the first of the month also falls on a Sunday. It's getting harder and harder to think of something to write to you about. I don't know why that is. All I can think about is how much I love you and miss you so much. May 1st will be 7 years. It just doesn't seem possible. We love you baby, and I hope you haven't forgotten us. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

March 23, 2015
Sweetie,
Mama completely forgot about it being Sunday yesterday, and forgot all about adding you to the Monday night candle service. I just now remembered, and I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I've not done that in all these years, so I really feel bad about it tonight. I love you and miss you so much. It won't happen again. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

April 1, 2015
Hi baby, it's actually April 2nd. I'm 25 minutes late. I spent way too much time on stupid facebook, writing about what all I'm thankful for. I miss you Steve. I was talking to a girl today in the grocery store about you begging me for grapes, and telling her that you wouldn't eat them unless I was willing to peel them for you. Thankfully I only peeled one, because now I'm finding out that they're not good for dogs. We laughed about you spitting out carrots because they weren't cooked. Oh, how smart you were. If we didn't want you to know what we were talking about, we had to spell. Well baby, it's late and I need to get to bed. Your buddy will be waking me up early in the morning before he goes to work. We love you very much. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

May 1, 2015
Hi Steve,
Seven years ago today we had to say goodbye to you. We just knew that the doctor could make you well again. You was so sick that day, wouldn't eat. I went to the store for chicken. I just knew you would eat that. I hand fed you, but you only ate two or three small bites. I prayed and prayed and prayed for you to be ok. Never even dreamed we would be coming home without you that day. Just broke our hearts into millions of pieces. For over fourteen years it was just the three of us. I miss you Steve. I try on purpose not to think about our last day together. Even seven years later, it still makes me cry. I remember it like it happened yesterday. It was almost a year, before we adopted another baby. You were the most precious and sweetest baby for over fourteen years, and now Cooper has been with us for over six years, and gets sweeter by the day, and we love him too, but we will never ever forget about you. Please don't forget about us. We love you so much. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

July 1, 2015
Hi Baby,
I know I wrote to you in June, but I don't why it's not on here. I never forget to write to you on your anniversary. Steve, it's been so long since I got a sign from you. I hope you haven't forgotten about us. I still tell you your bedtime prayer every night. I hope you can still hear me. I miss you very much, and have since you had to leave us. I love you with all my heart, and I hope and pray that one day when it's time for me to leave this earth, we will be together again, and this time it will be forever. You were with us for over fourteen years, and the sweetest baby that ever lived. Please don't about me and your Buddy. Did you know that your stuffed lion is still in your Buddy's room? We've not thrown anything away. Even your cute yellow raincoat that you hated to wear is still with us. Everything. We love you sweetheart and miss you so much. Love always, Mama and Buddy ♥

August 1, 2015
Hi Sweet Baby,
It's already August. This year sure is going by fast. Soon it will be another Christmas which will be just another day for us again this year, and another Christmas without you. I try not to think about it. I never can save any money to bring joy to your Buddy. Things just haven't been the same since you left us. We do what we can for Cooper, but it would be nice to have gifts to unwrap. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas in Heaven, Steve. Know that I'll be thinking about you. I remember all the years on Christmas day, when you would get so excited seeing your stocking. You knew it would be packed with goodies. We will always love you and miss you. I hope you haven't forgotten how much you were loved and still are. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

September 1, 2015
Hi Sweet Steve,
Today is your seventh anniversary at Rainbow Bridge. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you, and miss you. Nothing has ever been the same since you left. Yes........ you were that special in our lives. We love you, always know that, and miss you very much. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

October 1, 2015
Hi Baby,
It's already the first of the month and time for me to write to you. Pretty soon Christmas will be here, but once again we haven't been able to save for it. We've only had Christmas one time since you left. Nothing has ever been the same, and I'm sure it never will be. We miss you angel, and love you so much. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

November 1, 2015
Hi Baby,
I love you Steve, and I don't forget you on the 1st of the month. You've been gone for over seven years now, and not a day goes by that I don't think of you. I just added you to tomorrow night's candle ceremony. We will always love and miss you. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

December 1, 2015
Hi baby,
Time for me to write to you again. I've been kinda keeping myself busy with crocheting. I remember how you hated it when I'd get my yarn out and start working on something. Cooper is getting to be the same way. As soon as I sit down to work on something, he goes and gets a toy for us to play, lol! I guess I'm just going to have to work late at night, and play more often, because I know when he gets older, he won't want to play anymore. I wish you were still here to spend Christmas with us. That would be the best Christmas ever. We love and miss you every day, and you are always in our hearts. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

January 1, 2016
Hi Steve,
First let me say that I'm sorry I didn't write to you on Christmas. I thought about it, but we didn't get to have Christmas again, so it was sort of a sad day. I'm only going to make one resolution this time, and that's to save money, so that if God willing and I'm still here, we will have a happy holiday. Not much going on here to write about. I just didn't want you to think I forgot. We love and miss you very much. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

February 1, 2016
Hi Baby,
I think I better write a little to you before I mess up and forget. It's getting harder trying to think of what to write about. I'm not sure if that means I'm healing or if I'm just a boring person who doesn't get out much, and therefore I have nothing new to talk about. It's been over seven years since we were together. I think about you every night, and still tell you your bedtime prayer I made up just for you. I would tuck you in bed, and start telling you the little prayer, and you would always listen very closely, and when I was done, we'd kiss each other goodnight. I didn't dare move a muscle all night long or you'd scare me by growling at me. I love you Steve and so does Buddy, and as long as I'm alive, I will always take the time to write to you every month. You may not be here physically anymore, but you're always in my heart. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

March 1, 2016
Hi Sweety,
Mama is very tired tonight, so this won't be a long message to you, but it's the first of the month again, and I always write to you. Your Buddy and I had to go out today to get me some new glasses, and the wait was too long for both of us. I'm so thankful to have such a wonderful son, because he does so much to help me. Had he not been here, I would not have gone alone. Please forgive me for not writing a long message. I'm just worn out tonight, but wanted you to know you are missed and loved every single day. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

April 1, 2016
Hi Steve,
It's getting harder and harder trying to think of things to write to you about. I don't know why that is. I guess a part of me isn't sure you can even read what I say. Know this, that not a day goes by that I don't think of you, and your Buddy and I love you and miss you with all our hearts. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

May 1, 2016
Hi Baby,
Eight years today we had to kiss you goodbye. It was the hardest thing we have ever had to do. Our hearts were absolutely broken, and not a day goes by that we don't miss you. We were the three amigos, the three musketeers. Our little family, you were always such a big part of everything we did. We love and miss you baby, and always will. I will never forget that first special sign you let me see the very next night. You let me know that you were ok, and you were on your way to Rainbow Bridge. I love you so much, and so does your Buddy. We will love you forever. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

June 1, 2016
Hi Baby,
Here's your mama again dropping in to tell you that I haven't forgotten your monthly anniversary, and Buddy and I love you very much and miss you every day. I would write more, but something is wrong with this site. We love you ♥

July 1, 2016
Hi Baby,
Oh my goodness, I can't believe I'm writing late. Dang doctor appointment and the mess that went along with that afterwards, made mama forget. I'm sorry baby. Never think that you've been purposely forgotten about. We love and miss you every day. I'm sorry to be a few days late. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

Aug. 1, 2016
Hi Baby,
I thought I better write to you before I do what I did last night, and turn off the computer for the night. I wish I could think of different things to write to you about. I just don't go anywhere, Steve. I mostly stay home with Cooper, and I'm either watching tv or I'm messing around on the computer. I don't even know if you really care if I write anyway. I guess I do, because I never want you to think that you've been forgotten about, and the only thing I can do is write. We love and miss you baby. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

Sept. 1, 2016
Hi Baby,
Please welcome sweet Lily tonight as she will be joining you and the other babies in Heaven. We are all so very sad that Lily is too sick to stay with her mama and daddy and brother Jack. Always know that Buddy and I will love you forever and ever, and will be so happy to be with you again one day. We miss you and love you so much. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

October 1, 2016
Well baby, another month gone by without you here with us. I try so hard to think of something new to say when I write to you, but it's hard. If you are always with us, then you know everything already. It's been a long time since you sent me a sign. Everytime I see a dragonfly or butterfly go by, I think it's you. We love you baby ♥

November 1, 2016
Hi baby,
I had to delete a couple of messages I wrote to you back in 2009 just so I could write to you tonight. Always makes me sad to have to do that, because they are my memories. Oh well! I wanted to write while it's on my mind, because if I wait, then I might forget, and then I'd have to live with the guilt tomorrow when I remembered again.
Not much to tell you, but it's the first of the month, and I always write to you. I'm still trying to decide whether or not to decorate the Christmas tree this year. I never do if there are no gifts, but wondering if it would at least seem sorta like Christmas this year. I don't know. Once again I was unable to save any money to buy presents and there's not been Christmas in this house for three years. Send me a sign, and let me know what you think. We love and miss you always. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

December 2, 2016
Hi Baby,
Sorry I didn't write yesterday. Been kinda sick, but I didn't forget. I'm still not feeling very good, so I can't write much. I just wanted you to know that we miss you every day, and will always love you. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

January 1, 2017
Hi Baby,
Something has been bothering me for a long time, and I just wanted to tell you about it.
All the wonderful years you were with us, we never had a birthday for you, because we never knew when you were born. I don't know why neither of us just made up a month and day and celebrated it as your birthday. I'm so sorry Steve. I wish we would have thought about doing that. Please forgive us, and always know how much you were loved, and will always be loved and missed. You will never ever be forgotten. You're our most precious angel. Please send me a sign one of these days. I'm so lonesome for you. Love, Mama and Buddy ♥

February 1, 2017
Hi Baby,
Mama is getting to where she doesn't know what to say to you other than you will never be forgotten,

Comments would be appreciated by the author, Sharon
 
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