by Miranda R
How can you know that your love is to leave
And the happiness fades with the coming of grief
You’d put aside so much time in the future, you’d know
And it’s gone with the vision of him resting perfectly when you were ready to let him go
You’d figured out how you wanted it to end
Wanting him to know that he was your best friend
Saved him from a scary life out on the street
He learned quickly that when he was hungry all he had to do was to chew on your feet
A miracle, he’d found you when you needed him most
Still you need him, and you can’t find his ghost
A creamy orange young man who was the furthest from “cuddly”
Would show up on the bed, quite unpredictably
On a day when the worry was finally the greatest
Tiger had never been one for sleeping the latest
His fur had lost its shine
Something was wrong with this angel of mine
If I could turn back the hand of the clock,
I only wish I’d spent that last night with you so we could talk
I’d tell you my guilt because that night I was elsewhere
The last night to spend with my friend and I wasn’t there
The next day the trip to the vet with my friend did I drive
An appointment we’d be late for because we stopped to eat for five
I realized that although your cage door was open you were lying inside
Not something people notice, but I knew you hated the size
Rushed for time, I got you out as best I could,
If I had known I would have hugged you, if I had you now I would
But instead we turned up the music and we got on our way
Not paying enough attention,
I lost my best friend that day
When we got to the vet’s I got out of the car
Walked around to the back door to see where you were
My heart sinks to my toes and I unconsciously know
My Tiger still curled up behind the seat when he knows he can go
I reach for your fur and let go of a sigh
Somehow on the way, this is where my best friend has died
I feel so guilty because I had it all planned,
You were supposed to leave with your head in my hands
I was going to graduate and bring you with me
Have my own place, just you and I it would be
I know that I have to be brave knowing that you’re in heaven
But even the poems say you were supposed to live longer than seven.
-To my Trafalgar, my Tiger, I miss you. Love, Mummy (Miranda)