On July 19, 2005, we had to send our precious little girls, Laini who was 14 and Lexi who was 7 (both beautiful shih tzu's) to Rainbow Bridge. We found out Lexi had (GME) a form of spinal cancer, in May 2005. Many trips to the vet neurologist, many, many, expensive tests, we got the news we dreaded to hear. She was put on steroids and kemotherapy. She did bounce back for a short time and there was some hope. But it did not last long and she lost her ability to use her back legs and the medication was hurting her liver. For two months we carried her everywhere and she was so brave. Watching her go down hill was heartbreaking. During this time our Laini girl was starting to slow down. She was very hard of hearing and her eyesight was not good but our Lexi pretty much kept her young. The sicker Lexi got the worse Laini got. Around three weeks into Lexi's illness she cried in the middle of the night and when I turned on the light she was limping
on her right leg(same as Lexi's) we took her to the night emergency vet and they couldn't tell us what was wrong. We put her on pain meds and after a few days she could limp on it. We carried her all over during this time too. I swear she had sympathy pains. She was experiencing congestive heart failure also.
The last few nights before we took Lexi to the vet for her check up were so sad. I was up with her usually until 3 or 4 in the morning. She could not sleep or get comfortable so I would hold her and kiss her and cry and cry. And she would kiss me over and over. And I would tell her how sorry I was she was so sick.
We took Lexi to the vet for her check up and I knew what he was going to tell us. The prognosis for Lexi was poor and she would continue to get worse until she could use any of her legs. It could be a few days or weeks maybe a month. My family and I decided that we would not wait until Lexi and Laini lost all their dignity. I contacted a vet that euthanizes in the home and he came that night. I chose this because they did not like going to the vet and I did not want their last moments on earth to be scared and stressed. They both went to sleep in my arms, in their home, right to Rainbow Bridge. They were cremated together and are in our home looking out the bay window which was their favorite spot to be up until a few months ago. I am filled with so much grief and am astounded on how this has affected me. My girls were my life. They were just as important as any family member and they were my shadows. I thought giving them up to God was the right thing to do. I never thought how much I would miss them. I even went away this past week on vacation and thought this would help me. Not so. I cried every day and dreaded coming home knowing they would not be there for me to hug and get those wonderful wonderful kisses. I miss those kisses soooo much. They were the sweetest angels. I sometimes feel I can't go on and this is truly troubling me. I am going to seek some therapy. My husband bought me a beautiful white stone heart necklace in memory of them. It came in a silver box with the same heart that was engraved Always.....
Laini & Lexi. They will forever and Always be in my heart. We put some of there ashes in this box. I am looking forward to the day that I don't feel this sad. I hope and pray for all of you that have lost your babies for some comfort and sense of well being. I know it is something I pray for everyday. God bless all of you and our babies.

Always......
Pam Laino