by WENDY P
YESTERDAY, I ADDED TWO MORE NAMES...... TWO MORE NAMES TO WHAT I CALL MY LITTLE SHRINE IN MY BASEMENT.. I PAINT THEIR NAMES NEXT TO THEIR SON "COTY", WHO PASSED TWO YEARS AGO IN 2002. I PAINT THE SHAPE OF TWO WHITE DOG BONES AND LET THEM DRY ALITTLE. ABOVE EACH OF THEM, I PAINT ANGEL WINGS AND TWO GOLD CROSSES. THE WORDS "REST IN PEACE" ARE WRITTEN THERE ALSO. THEN I CAREFULLY SPELL TWO NAMES INSIDE OF THOSE TWO DELICATE BONES. THE NAMES "JESSIE" AND "FARRAH". THESE ARE "COTY'S PARENTS. TWO GREAT GERMAN SHEPHERDS WHO WHELPED TEN PUPS. ONE OF WHICH I CHOSE OF MY OWN "COTY". I WASN'T READY TO LET "COTY" GO SO SOON IN HIS LIFE, BUT DEGENERATIVE MYOLOPOTHY,TOOK OVER TO QUICKLY AND THE SUFFERING WAS TERRIBLE. I WAS READY FOR HIM TO GO. IT WAS TIME. BUT "JESSIE", I THOUGHT HE WOULD LIVE FOREVER, SINCE HE WAS MY OLDEST, 11 YRS YOUNG. OR SO I THOUGHT. BAD HIPS, CATERACTS AND JUST PLAIN OLD AGE CLAIMED HIM ON JAN 12,2004, WHEN I HAD TO MAKE THAT FAITFULL CALL TO MY VET. I CRIED THE WHOLE DRIVE TO THAT OFFICE. I SAT ON THE FLOOR HOLDING MY BELOVED PET, SOBBING. I ASKED GOD TO TAKE HIM QUICKLY AND WITH NO PAIN. AND HE DID. BUT I JUST COULDN'T STOP SAYING I WAS SORRY. I TOLD THE VET AS I WAS SITTING CRUMPLED ON THE FLOOR "I CAN'T DO THIS AGAIN". "THIS IS TO HARD". "WHY WON'T GOD LET THEM JUST PASS IN THEIR SLEEP IN SILENCE". I WENT HOME TO FIND "FARRAH" WAITING FOR ME AT THE DOOR. ALL I COULD BRING HER WAS AN EMPTY COLLAR AND LEASH. BUT, I KNEW SHE UNDERSTOOD. FOR SEVERAL NIGHTS SHE WOULD HOWL. A VERY LONELY HOWL, SO I BROUGHT HER TO SLEEP WITH ME AND TO COMFORT HER FROM LOSING HER SON AND MATE. I HAVE ALWAYS HEARD PEOPLE SAY "SOME DIE OF A BROKEN HEART". I WOULD NEVER HAVE BELIEVED IT UNTIL SEVEN DAYS LATER WHEN I LAY AGAIN ON THE COLD FLOOR IN THE VETS OFFICE KISSING AND STROKING THE NOSE OF MY BELOVED "FARRAH" AS THE VET GAVE HER THE LETHAL INJECTION. I SOBBED AND AGAIN SAID I WAS SORRY. SORRY FOR HER LOSS, MY LOSS. WHEN SHE TOOK HER LAST BREATH OF AIR I WHISPERED TO HER...."YOU GO FIND "JESSIE" AND YOUR SON "COTY". "ALL THREE OF YOU WILL BE TOGETHER AT THAT RAINBOW BRIDGE". THEN I LAYEDMY HEAD ON THE FLOOR NEXT TO HER, FACE TO NOSE AND SAID " DON'T YOU FORGET ME AND COME FIND ME SO WE COULD BE TOGETHER AGAIN". ALL OF US! THIS IS FOR MY THREE FURRY CHILDREN....I AM SO LOST AND EMPTY WITHOUT YOU.......I LOVE AND MISS YOU, MOMMY