by Amanda Opdycke
Well, its been 3 weeks since I sent you on your wonderful journey to the Rainbow Bridge. It is a journey I never wanted you to make, and especially not this soon. I had visions of you growing old with Katie, and of all the fun I knew we all would have. God sent you my way almost 3 years ago, knowing how much I needed someone to love, and him knowing how much you needed someone who would care for you like you needed. When I saw you at the breeder, there was a spark in your eyes that connected with me, and it was as if all the other puppies vanished, all I could see was you. You were supposed to be a Christmas present for my dad.. and when you started having your seizures on Christmas Eve, the breeder allowed us to select another puppy for my dad, and I decided that no matter what problems you had, you were destined to stay with me. So we began the journey of controlling your seizures. Erin (the vet) started you on your medicine, and after working out a few kinks with the doseage, we had them under control. Of course, there were the occasional seizures when you got too excited.. :) but they were nothing you and I could not get through together. You knew when you were going to have one.. you came to me and got in my lap.. and there was no way you were getting down. When I had Katie, you welcomed her to the family with lots of licks and you became her new guardian. There is no way anyone could have ever caused her any harm without first losing a finger or two or walking away with a few bites from you :)Oh how she loved you too.. life time buddies, you two were. Mutt & Jeff, side by side.. where one went the other one was right behind. I always knew when you two were up to no good.. you would always get very quiet.. and I would come hunting you... and there you were.. sitting there with Katie.. ripping pages out of a magazine.. her with one end of the page, you with the other end in your mouth.. just ripping your little hearts out. She doesn't understand where you are now though, it breaks my heart in pieces everytime she walks though the house calling "Dirk" "Dirk" One day when she is old enough to understand, I can sit down and explain to her where you are.. and that one day you will meet us as we cross over to be with you. I keep thinking back to the day I came home.. there you were, not feeling too well. Wednesday evening, I could tell you were'nt yourself.. you stayed in my lap all night long. I kept waiting for the seizure but it never came. We curled up on the couch until morning, and I called Erin to make an appointment for her to see you. We rode in the blazer to the vet, it would be the last time you rode in the car. Oh how you loved it. Sitting right in my lap.. looking out the window and licking my cheek because you were in heaven. Erin wanted to keep you overnight to run some tests to see if she could figure out what it was that was causing you to feel so bad. As I hugged you and said bye, I knew you were in the best hands in the world. Thursday evening came the call I didnt want to hear. Your kidneys were shutting down, and she was trying every medicine she knew to open them back up. I prayed and prayed Thurs night for God's will to be done, and Friday morning when Erin called and said it didnt look good.. I came up there to see you. As they brought you in, and let us have some time together. You let me know it was ok..licking my cheek, and as I looked into your eyes, that same spark that I saw 3 years ago at the breeder's, I saw again. This time the message was different. "It's ok" you said. The seizures were horrible, and after it subsided, we put you to rest. I held you and whispered to you how much I loved you. I know you heard me, and I know you knew how much you were loved. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. You were so much more a part of my life than you know. Today, I recieved your ashes. You're home now baby.. home forever. Go run in the fields with the other babies at the Rainbow Bridge. Romp in the grass like you never have before. I'm longing for the day when I see you again.. your memory is just as much alive in my heart today as it ever was. You will be with me, in my mind, in my thoughts, but most importantly, in my heart. I love you Squirt.