by Isabel Moore
NICKY,MA_MA doesn't sleep to well any more,as I lay in my bed I think of you,and at times I hear your little feet in the kitchen-I
sometimes hear you saying "MA",it's been seven months now and the pain is still in my heart,the tears in my eyes.As I sit on the patio-I close my eyes and I see you trying to play or go potty.I look up in the sky and say"Nicky,is that your cloud"? I found this little poem here and it"s as tho it was written by you, to me.It goes like this===
If it should be that I grow weak and pain keeps me from my sleep,then you must do what must be done,for this last battle cannot be won.You will be sad I understand,but don't let grief stay your hand.
For this day more than all the rest--your LOVE for me MUST stand the test.........
Oh NICKY,I feel like I failed the test...But I must go on, Ashley needs me.She just recently started to sleep in your bed.She misses you to.She looks so lost at times.You took your naps together,I have a picture of the two of you asleep and she has her arm over you.
Sometimes I think of you and remember some cute,funny things you did, and I smile.I call Ash "Nicky"sometimes by mistake.I know you won't mind as I'm thinking of you.Mommie misses you so much, I love you.
You will remain in my heart forever,my precious little guy.You made me happy NICKY,thank you.Thank you for all the 18 years of your love.You be good for God up there now,play and have fun,Say hi to Chang and Samiri for mommie.Give them my love.Daddy was home over the weekend,he misses you to,and sends his love.Rachell misses you and sends her love also.I know you didn't want to leave Nicky,but you and I both knew it was time for you to go.When you are reborn,will you choose me again?If not my love,whomever you choose to love and make happy,I wish you joy and another wonderful life,but,I will always remember and love you.You're remain in my heart forever.Nick ,please come visit mommie.You came twice,but didn't stay long.Your food and water dish are still where you left them.I have your little teddy bear and sweaters put away.If you get cold,stop in and snuggle with me,I miss that.Wait for me at Rainbows bridge baby,I'll see you in a few short years,that way we can walk over the bridge together.Watch for mommie.Oh, almost forgot,Daddy will be writing you soon,he's been very busy,work and all.I'll write you again,Sissy wants to go potty now,so mommie will say"good-night"for now.I LOVE YOU SON.
Love your mommie