My baby girl Hailey
by Melissa
My baby was 13 when she got sick. She had this shaking in her legs for a year or two that nobody could figure out why. Then she started vomiting here and there. Didn't think much of it, cause it is common for her to vomit sometimes. This went on for a little while. I took her to my mom's in Myrtle Beach for a week and we had a ball! Then the night we got home, around 2 am, she had her first seizure! That was the scariest thing I have ever seen, I was freaked out. I knew something serious was wrong. I took her to the vet next day. They did test and said they couldn't find a reason for the seizure, but usually with dogs over 10 years old, it's not good. They also found that she had bile acids backed up in her gallbladder and her liver was damaged. My poor baby! They suggested an MRI, but knew most people won't do it because it cost $2000. I am not most people, and luckily i have savings. I did the MRI and it was really rough on her. I had to leave her there for a few hours. The look on her face when I left still haunts me. I also had to leave her at the vet every time she got a bile acids test done. I can only imagine what was going through her head. She doesn't understand why mommy keeps leaving her with people that hurt her. The MRI came back that she was having mini stokes that were causing seizures most likely caused by cancer, but they were not sure which kind of cancer exactly, because she had no visible tumors on the scans.They gave me meds to try and stop the seizures from happening as often. As well as meds to protect her liver, and slow down the cancer from spreading. This bought me only a few months. She had to take pills every 3 hours, so my life literally revolved around her care. Which is fine, but i felt so bad for making her go through all of this. She also was vomiting about every other morning bile acids. The MRI vet did say her brain was too big for her head, to which I replied "I knew my baby was smart". About 6 weeks later she had her 2nd seizure, and this time I was ready for it, I knew the signs. As the time went on, her vomiting happened more often, but she seemed ok. She was her normal self, playing and had a great appetite. I had another bile acids test done because of the vomiting, and it came back great. Most of the sludge in her gallbladder was gone, and her liver was normal. At this point she had not had a seizure in 4 months! I called her my miracle baby and thought briefly she might pull trough this. Then she had to get a rabies shot, there was no choice, it's the law. A few days later, she got really sick for a few hours and I knew she was going to have another seizure because she was showing all of the signs. I waited all night, and it never happened. I think the pills stopped it. She starting acting down, and not herself. One morning she couldn't put much weight on her back legs and struggled to walk and pee. I took her to vet the next day and she was fine by then. She was ok for about a week, but still not quite herself. Then one morning, she couldn't walk again. She could not put any weight on her back end. It progressed really fast. She couldn't walk or pee. I took her to the vet and they suggested x-rays, so I did. This poor baby is in so much pain and can't move and they are moving her around on the table for hours (because we had to do it slowly). They said they would have the results the next day. That night she got much worse. She couldn't even move around to lay down, and had not peed in over a day. I stayed up with her all night. Then late morning I took her back to vet, and we all knew it was time. I'm so glad my husband was there with me. Hailey was so scared, she was panting like crazy, I think she knew. We loved on her and said our goodbyes, and then it was time. That is the hardest thing Iv'e ever done, and I had just but my cat Jada to sleep the summer before. My cat also was very sick for about a year and we went through test and meds just like Hailey. he was only gone for about 6 months, when she got sick. I love my cat, but Hailey is my heart. If I had known that all of these test and pills were not going to keep her around or make her better, I would never have put her through all of this because it was so hard on her. God bless her little soul, she was such a trooper. I feel so guilty that I put her through all of this. I think that is the hardest part. That and feeling like she is in heaven looking for me. I was her whole world and as great as heaven may be, if it doesn't have me in it, how happy can she be? Is she wondering where I am? She passed the day before mother's day. I was supposed to take her to see my mom, and I'm so glad i didn't so she was here with us in her home towards the end. This was 17 weeks ago, and it feels like yesterday. I am a wreck. I cry daily, i have insomnia, and I'm on anti-anxiety meds. I have had much loss over the years including losing mu dad to leukemia, but this broke me.
Comments would be appreciated by the author, Melissa
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