by Dawn Larson
I'm so heart broken right now. I can't believe that he is dead. He had turned out to be the most wonderful loving dog. He was a ham and always trying to do everything he could to make us laugh. How do we go on without him? Ray ( my husband) went to get him from our neighbors yard, he is in the garage. A little while ago I went out and just held him. I just can't believe he is gone. I can't quit crying. Ray and I had to go to the store to get my medication and I broke down and cried and cried in front of everyone. I just wondering what each day will be like without his silliness. He kept us laughing all of the time. He was so verbal, he would say Momma, Momma so clearly. He would pretend to be mean when you were hugging him, he would growl like a rabid dog, but the whole time his tail was wagging. I'll miss his little mud tracks that he left on my white carpet that I bitched so much about, now to have those mud tracks would make me so happy. I just can't believe he is gone. I feel like somebody has kicked me in the stomach. I was just telling Josh (my son who he we bought Lance for) yesterday about how he shouldn't keep calling him "Baby Lance" he is a teenager now, I told him don't worry you'll have many years with him, I also reminded him what his dad says "He'll be around long enough to eat your wife's favorite cat." How wrong we were. He was only about 2 years old, not nearly long enough for us. Oh how we miss him already. I wish I could go out in the garage and shake him back to life. I wish it would work. I told Ray on the way home from the store how I wouldn't be able to hold him ever again, well, I did sneak out and held him one more time before he will buried tomorrow out in the rain forest that is right beside our house. It was really weird when Ray and I would take a walk out there Lance would always go with us, when we walked out of the little rain forest Lance would always bite my ankles hard enough to leave a mark. Ray and I always wondered what that was all about, because that's the only time he ever ever got rowdy. Josh is pretending like he didn't hear me when I told him the neighbor came to tell us that Lance was dead in his yard. He is refusing to believe that Lance is dead. Michael (our oldest son) came home to check on Lance in the neighbors yard, I could see him from my patio window, he was shaking Lance trying to wake him up, he wouldn't believe at first that Lance was dead. Lance left such an impression on us that we dread not having him here with us. Its truly painful. I didn't truly believe Lance was dead until after Ray brought him home from the neighbors yard and saw his lifeless body in the trunk of the car. There is a little blood not much. I hope he didn't suffer. We are still not sure what happened to him, the neighbor seems to think that somebody was going down our private lane to fast and hit him. Nobody will ever know. Thank you for listening to me, I'm so heart broken it helps to talk about it.