by Donna L:aPorte
Giz's health had been deteriorating for a couple of years....deafness, partial blindness, heart murmur, sleeping a lot. Then the Cushing's diagnosis. THe Lysodren helped. He lost weight, gained some energy, ate and drank less. Sometimes he didn't even ask to go out, and would have accidents ...he would stare into space, get lost in the yard, bark at the grill when he wanted to come in, which is at the other end of the patio from the door. Sometimes when I would go outside to bring him in, he ran away, as though he didn't know me......
The arthritis became the major concern with the drop in cortisol after the Lysodren. Finally the pain medication was no longer helping. His right front leg was becoming bowed, and his shoulder ws dropping, sometimes the elbow would lock momentarily and he couldn't walk. He was limping badly, and from time to time would cry out in pain. We couldn't allow him to suffer! We called his vet and told her it was time. It was 2 days after Christmas, 2003, he was 14 years and 7 months old.
We burshed him, and held him. Gave him all of his favorite treats that he wanted. Then we wrapped him in a fluffy blanket he was especially fond of and took him for his last ride. He didn't like to ride in the car by this time, but he was very quiet and sat on my lap all the way, almost as if he was savoring it.
Dr. Helen was ready for us when we got there. She explained the process, and what to expect from him as he went to sleep. My husband held him, and I had my hand on his back, and he gently relaxed into my husbands arms and slept his final sleep. I believe he went to the Bridge in peace and comfort, knowing we were with him and that we loved him. I have a little "Angel Dog" pin that Dr. Helen gave me, and I wear it for him.
When we got home, I took his beds (he had 2!) washed them, and went through his "things" and gave them to a friend who had dogs...but I have his little red traveling case with his name on it, and inside is his dish, harness with his "jewelry" on it, his favorite 'dana, and his brush. These special things were his, and always will be.
It gets easier as time passes, but I often find myself saying his name when I am talking about our cat...it just pops out. It comes back full force when someone I know loses a dear fursoul. Now we try to help those that come after us in this heartbreaking experience. To tell them that life DOES go on, even if it limps along for a while. Like our Cushings's babies with rear leg weakness, it gets better with time and care.
We had him for 12 years and 2 days of his 14 1/2 years. He was a wonderful little boy! Totally a Shih Tzu! A bit wilful, NEVER came when he was called....and completely charming! He slept on our bed for many years, and shared our meals, he expected the last bite of every sandwich, and he loved broccoli! We miss him dreadfully, but remember him with joy.
Here is something that helped me....
If It Should Be
If it should be that I grow weak,
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.
You will be sad, I understand;
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.
We've had so many happy years -
What is to come can hold no fears.
You'd not want me to suffer so;
The time has come, so let me go.
Take me where my needs they'll tend
And please stay with me until the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time that you will see
The kindness that you did for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.
Please do not grieve - it must be you
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years -
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.
- Author Unknown