Bear,
Today I saw a perfect rainbow... An arch literally sprawled across a dark, cloudy sky. It was so strange - it was cold and brittle out, no humidity, and it hadn't rained. And yet through all this there was a perfect rainbow, I had never seen one so fine... so detalied, so perfect! There is nothing to descfribe the feeling I got when I saw it. Bear, baby I thought of you. I like to think that is your way of saying goodbye, of saying here I am waiting for you. And, writing here, going to candle light tributes, crying my eyes out all night... This is my way of saying goodbye, saying that someday we'll meet again, sweetheart. Everybody is shocked that you are gone. You touched so many lives, really you did. People who only met you once or twice simply loved you. And, all my friends are just crushed. And, if that is how THEY feel how can I ever describe how I feel!? I am heartbroken and lonely. Thank God I have this place to come to now and then, to have an outlet for my feelings that are in such turmoil and confusion. So many kind and caring people have emailed me and let me know how much THEY care. So many people have lost their babies, and its nice to know we can all cry together. Well, seeing that rainbow just reminded me where you are, you're in heaven, Bear - I have to beleive that. The other night I heard words in my head, not my own words but words from God, or so I have chosen to beleive, "Your dog is at peace, can you not be at peace as well if not for his sake? He knows you loved him, and he loves you too." Shortly after that, after hours of crying and missing you, I fell asleep warm and comforted. I felt you near me, as you will always be near me in my heart. Blackie is going crazy without his brother. He has so much energy and is always looking around for his buddy to play with! You meant so much to all of us. For goodness sakes, this is the fourth poem/story I've posted here! Thank goodness they don't have a limit. May you sleep well and be at peace at that rainbow bridge. Thank you, Bear. For everything.
All my love,
Katie