I love you, Saffy
by Katherine Farmer
In 2002, I was very excited to adopt a kitten I had seen at a rescue organization. I called about the kitten and the rescue organization told me that the kitten's mom needed a home, too. I wanted the kitten, so I decided to adopt the kitten's mom site unseen. Saffy had been found in Topanga Canyon inside a cardboard box that had a sign on it that said 'Feed Me.' A generous hearted homeless man who lived in the canyon took her to Pacific Palisades on his bike to a rescue organization. Saffy promptly had 7 kittens. The last kitten to be adopted was Cinny - so named because she looked like cinnamon toast. Saffy was a teen mom, and was only 6 months older than Cinny.

The first night I had them, Saffy (named for an AbFab character) slept at the foot of my bed, but she did not play and she was very very serious.No purring at all. Occasionally, I would hear little bump bump bump noises followed by some scrabbling and it turned out to be Saffy, tossing a ball down the stairs and running after it all by herself. She would then carry it back up the stairs in her mouth and start all over. She would stop instantly if she knew you were watching. After having her for almost a year, Saffy decided she was staying and allowed me to throw her ball for her down the stairs. She also marched right onto my lap and claimed it as hers. From that point on, her sweet nature was allowed to blossom.

Saffy's sweet, loving, and gentle presence graced my life for the past 14 years. She stood and slept right next to me,through thick and thin. She loved baby food more than anything else in the world and I made sure she had plenty of it. I hope she knew how much I loved her and how the best part of my day was climbing into bed and having her immediately come over to sleep next to me or on top of me. Every night she was my faithful companion.

Saffy loved chasing balls. She would chase and chase until she was panting. I think her favorite place of all was my screened porch in NH. Sheloved to sit ooutside and listen to the frogs. She also loved catnip and i made her many a catnip toy. She like to stretch herself by going up to the wall and sliding down.

When one of my friends committed suicide. Saffy was my grief counselor. She never left my sad. Now I have nobody to help me grieve Saffy.

Saffy always took care of her baby and they had a special meow language. Saffy would call to Cinny in her special way whenever she wanted Cinny's attention. Thankfully, a bit of Saffy lives on in Cinny.

My favorite memories of Saffy are when she was love attacking me and my hair and biting at my hair. It was her way of expressing unbridled joy and love. I also loved when she would curl up in my armpit and we lay in bed watching TV. In the last months of her life, she chose to sleep on top of me. This was quite an honor and made me incredibly happy. I wish that I could feel her on my chest again or in my armpit.

Saffy crossed the Rainbow Bridge last night and I am bereft and heartsick. I miss her desperately and I will struggle to go on without her sweet and loving self by my side.

I have tremendous guilt and fear that your hypothyroid treatment hastened your last days and that the ER vet did not treat you properly. But, you gave me the signal you were ready to go and I hope you know that I did not want you to suffer. I am only sad I lost 3 days with you. I will pick up your bed, your blanket, and the mouse I made while you were there as soon as i can and I will treasure them forever.

I made you a memorial with your balls and some saffron candles. I am going to make you an album soon. I am afraid of crying all over it an ruining my precious photos.

I love you more than you can know, Saffy. My saffron colored girl who love attacked me every night. You were the cat i adopted sight unseen who turned out to be the sweetest cat I have ever had. I hope you are free of any pain you had in this life and that there are lots of squishy balls for you to chase and soft comfy beds for you to sleep upon. Please know I loved you very deeply. I will take care of Cinny for you until we all meet again.

Love and light my gorgeous, my saffron colored love attack angel, Saffy.
Comments would be appreciated by the author, Katherine Farmer
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