How do you live without your heart?
by Kari J
Every little girl dreams of her own black stallion, little did I know mine would turn out a tiny Arabian mare, ugly and in desperate need of help. I went to look at an appaloosa gelding, well trained and Ready to ride, I enjoyed meeting the big guy, and was preparing to close the sale when the owner was needed outside her massive barn, well as I wandered aimlessly, so I thought, there was a very small stall almost completely enclosed, dark and sad looking, I peered over the almost 6ft tall door after finding a bucket to stand on, and was instantly furious and horror struck, inside was a very small ugly dirty baby horse. She was eating her own feces, she was starving, was she sick? Is that the reason for her isolation? Dear God, is that blood on her face? What is going on here, the rest of the 38 horses were well kept, why the heck there blood, old and fresh on her tiny face? I went back to the horse I was there to get, my first that would be bought, I had rescues, who I loved deeply, but this purchase would be be realization of a dream, my very own horse.I stood stroking his beautiful face but my mind was in a to small unlit stall.. When the barn owner came back, I asked her about the ugly little filly, she was Blunt. Saying the filly was vicious and sometimes her help would use the 2x4 to get her to move so they could feed ect.. I stood quietly as I knew this tiny girl was in danger, and I knew the woman was money hungry, I sighed, and saw my dream horse fly away, as the next words from me were, I'll take her how much? Another rescue and this time it was also purchased... There went my very own horse funds,on a tiny dirty ugly and apparently vicious baby, 10 min later I was the owner of.. Ready? Sybill... God help us both.. Said that's not your name tiny girl, no worries. HA from the moment she rolled off the trailer it was worry after worry, oh she's a biter.. Great, oh my leg.. A kicker... 3 months I sat just out of her reach, reading and ignoring the loud popping of her teeth snapping at my ear, shoulder ect. I don't think I even know what I was reading, I was tuned in to the Girl, eventually she allowed me to touch her, and she was shaking but stood still, for the first time in her life she wasn't being beaten but touched with love and kindness.. And she grew in size and intelligence, took over lead mare and the bigger girls thought to push this Lil girl around, nope she sent them running, finally winters over and the 5 acres green and ready for grazing.. Sun is out and I opened the gates and went up on the back porch, turned and saw Fire racing across the Meadow, her coat looking like a living flame, and I called out heeeey Firefly come come, she instantly wheeled, and didn't bother with the gate, instead as if she had wings leaped and seemed to fly over the 7ft horse mesh, because I called her, and she apparently was waiting for a name, and seemed to love it. Many long lazy days I spent laying against her in the Meadow, reading, sometimes out loud to her, laying on her back while she laid down, both napping. It never occurred to me that I could be in danger from her, we left Washington, and came to my home in Arizona, and tell vets all said, you need to keep her on special diet due to metabolic issues, no biggie, til the 1st time I came out to feed and saw this amazing lil horse limping.. My heart stopped, I called and she, walked to me, and I cried, my farrier, awesome, kind and patience with the horses, answered and brought his vet, and they did x-rays, verdict was acute founder, and not a problem my special angel, got high heels, and that gave us 3 years when things turned bad, and my depression almost won, she rescued me, that's when I realized she always been the Rescuer and I the rescued, and it was last year on my birthday we lost her 1st horse friend, and I quickly was alarmed at how deeply she was grieving him, she cried actual tears, and they never stopped, until Friday, when, after seeing her standing oddly I called Eddie her beloved farrier and her vet, even with the corrective shoes, the coffin bone had rotation again, this time, there was 2 choices, be selfish, demand more packing, and shoe adjustments, or.. Let her go on, I did the right thing, but now I'm alone, and it's because She WAS my black Stallion, my forever horse, in the guise of a funny faced tiny ugly little mare, she saved my life, and stole my heart... I need you my Angel Girl, my friend, my heart, my soul, my amazing Firefly
Comments would be appreciated by the author, Kari J
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