The Dream
by Julia
I just lost my best friend Floyd to an illness. He was my everything. I am an 18 years old and just a little bit before I adopted Floyd I started to have severe anxiety. I was terrified to be alone, I was paranoid constantly, I dropped out of school and quit my job because I was just so scared. Then I was blessed with him. I went to a shelter and Floyd was the only kitten among dozens of them that stood out to me. It's like almost we were put on this earth to be together. I know it sounds silly, people say "he's only a cat" but to me he was so much more than "just a cat" he was my best friend. Whenever I was feeling scared, he was there. Whenever I was sad, he was there. Whenever I was having so much anxiety that I thought I wouldn't be able to do it anymore, he comforted me and reassured me that I could. In his short two years, he was probably the most spoiled cat ever. He got anything he wanted, all the love and affection 24/7. I wouldn't go to sleep until I knew that he was comfortable and happy. One day he started acting not like himself and I got worried. I took him to the vets but he just seemed to get worse and worse. He wouldn't eat or drink, he wouldn't move. I started to put water in a dropper and make him drink so he wouldn't get dehydrated. I rushed him to the vets the next day and they told me his organs were failing and his lungs were filled with fluid. I felt so guilty because I thought the reason he was dying is because I was the one forcing him to drink which lead to his lungs filling with fluid. I ignored the vet when he told me even if i didn't make him drink water he still would've died. I felt horrible, I was only trying to keep him so he didn't die of dehydration, I wasn't trying to hurt him. I couldn't watch him in so much pain so I told the vet he could be put down. The vets took him into another room to put him to sleep but I still felt so guilty that he was alone without me, but I know deep down that he didn't want me to see that and that he was too sick to know what was going on. For days I cried and cried. I felt so empty like there was a black hole in my chest. I wondered that if God exists, why would he do this? Why would he give me something I loved so much just to take him away from me so quickly. One night before I went to bed so sad, I prayed he would send me a sign that he was okay. That night I had the most realistic, vivid dream ever. It was like I was awake looking down in my bed with Floyd purring and curled up right next to me. He looked at me and licked my hand, as if he was telling me everything is okay. He wasn't sick, he was healthy and looked so happy. I woke up the next morning so at peace. Like a weight was lifted from my chest. I wasn't feeling guilty anymore. I know that he visited me in my dream to tell me I don't need to worry anymore. Thank you for everything you've done for me Floyd, thank you for teaching me to love no matter what.
Comments would be appreciated by the author, Julia
 
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