by Gladys Apodaca
My precious little baby girl. Mommy wanted to tell you how very sorry I am for not being able to save you from the dangers of a world you have never knew. My curiouse little child I wish you were here with me. Your were the lite of my soul. Not being able to have children I never thought I would be able to experience Motherhood. That all changed when your biological mother died the same tragic death as you did. That happened the day you were born. The nieghbor whom lived behind us was aware of our dog Sadie whom just gave birth to 4 little puppies and came over with this preciose little bundle of love with your eyes still shut and asked if we would put you with Sadies liter in hopes that she would allow you to feed off her, after about half a day with her we could see she wasnt going to allow that and the other puppies were pushing you away. I picked you up and wrap to in a warm baby blanket held you close to my heart and began feeding you 3, 4 even 5 times aday almost never putting you down, you were always in my arms so close to my heart you could feel every breath I take. And the day you opened your beautiful eyes was one of the happiest days of my life. There I was holding you close feeding you a bottle when I lifted you up so gentaly to pat your little back to burb you. Just as I rewrapped you in your little blanket and brang you close to my heart I began strokeing the top of your head so lightly admireing how beautiful you are when suddenly your eyes opened, not one eye at a time and not slightly, nope your eyes opened wide and the first thing your eyes ever seen was my eyes full of love, the momemnt we had eye contact our eyes were sparkling like no diamond I had ever seen before. Your beautiful eyes were telling my eyes that you were humane I could feel that the moment you looked at me and that day on is exactly how I raised you. You were that special little baby I thought I would never have and I was the mommy you never lost. As you grew older everywhere mommy went you went too. And I mean everywhere, your two most favorite places where when we would go to the casino, you loved the noise and the excitement that was going on around you and everyone new your name. The second place was the second hand stores, as soon as I enter the parking lot you knew exactly where we were. You couldnt get out of that car seat fast enough. I would grab your blanket put your leash on and you almost dragged me to the door, once wegot in you would drag me to the shopping carts jumping up almost the hieght of the cart waiting for mommy to put your blanket in the cart set so I could lift you up and sit you in it. There you are sitting in that shopping cart so proud and always being on your best behavior and again everyone new your name and were always glad you came. These are just some of the happiest days we shared together but by far the most fondest times we shared was at bed time when we had all the dogs on the bed with us and they would all find there place and lay there heads to sleep. But not me and you, Nope there you where on the top of my head sucking on mommys fingers for hours at a time then I would lift you over my head and held you close to my heart, cuddle beneath the blankets with our eyes staring at each other with so much to say, it was magical, the love I seen and felt was like no other. You filled my life and not just mine but your daddys too with so much love we are lost with out you, like in the morning when you would get out of bed you would get up with that tail wiggling so fast that when you jetted off the bed it was almost like you were flying like a helicopter could, you would fly off the bed run into the living room where daddy was and stop and put your chest to the floor put your butt in the air and give a big long streach from having a good night sleep then jump on the back of the couch and start licking and kissing your daddys face with so much love and excitement assuring daddy you loved him as much as you loved your mommy. So my beautiful, beautiful baby girl mommy just wanted to thank you for making our lives so beautiful. Mommy and daddy will always keep you close and please never be lonely or scared. Always stay on your best behavior as you did on earth in heaven and know that when you need us we will always be there for you. And one more thing before I go... Mommy and daddy will be going to heaven too one day and when we get there we will all be togerher again someday. So hold on to that thought and cherish the memories just as Daddy and Mommmy will. And thank you my preciose little angel thank you for this enduring love we share till eternity. Mommy and Daddy love you!