by Miriam Eisbart
MEMORIES:March to Oct. My Charity
I will always remember when we found you. I had lost Fluffy after 17 yrs. I then got Faith and Hope, and everyone wanted to know where Charity was. Six months later, you were found,and I knew you were Charity. You slept with me every night, were there to give me a kiss when I came home, stayed next to me when I was working at home, and you were the most beautiful and loving little friend I ever had. I will always miss you, and hold you in my heart.I miss you so much. I have been crying for you all day today.(3/24/03). I hope you are adjusting to your new home at Rainbow's Bridge, and are no longer suffering. It is exactly one week today that you went to Rainbow's Bridge, and the ache in my heart is constantly there. I miss you next to me in bed with your paw over my hand, your purring, and being able to brush you, and see how proud you were after that. I hope you are feeling well, and perhaps have found your sister's, Faith and Hope. You will always be with me, both in my heart and in spirit.(03/28/03). It is 2 wks. today since you went to Rainbow's Bridge, and I haven't stopped missing you for a moment. I hope you are making friends and feeling well. I will always love you.(04/04/03.) It is 1 month today since you went to Rainbow's Bridge. It still seems like yesterday that I was still fighting and hoping you would get better. I miss you so much. Please give me a sign that you are ok. Take care, my beloved friend. One season has passed since you left. The change of every season is a reminder of the date you left. I still feel the same as I did that day. I miss you so much. My love for you will never die. I hope you are playing with all your new friends by now. But, don't forget to watch over me sometime, and wait for me to meet you at the bridge.
(06/21/03). Steven and I are moving to a new apt. tomorrow, and I so wish you were coming to. When I looked at it, I kept thinking where I was going to put your food and litterbox. It was an automatic reaction. I do know you will be there with us in spirit. Everytime either Steve or I got into a car the last few days the radio was playing " Unchained Melody", and we felt like you were there with us. I love you and miss you so much, and I wear a little cat angel pin on my shoulder all the time, and it helps me feel like you are with me. Don't forget to take care of yourself while you are helping me.
(07/17/03). Charity, since we are at the new apt. almost 1 wk., I seem to be missing you more than ever. Aside from a place for food and litter, I have a spot for toys and a bed, and I keep thinking and hoping you are coming back to be with us here. I guess, though, when we see each other again, I will be coming to meet you. The ache in my heart and love for you just doesn't go away. You take care and enjoy your new friends.
(07/24/03). It is 18 wks. today. I just did the service I do for you every Friday at about the time you left your earthly body. In some ways it seems like yesterday, and sometimes it seems like so long since I have seen you. Charity, I miss you so very much. I never thought I could miss anyone the way I miss you.
Just know, I will never let my love for you die.(07/25/03). I found more beautiful pictures of you today while unpacking albums, and I added them to your Memory Album. Again the car radio was playing "Unchained Melody). I felt like you were with me. I know I keep saying the same thing over and over, but I miss you so much, and wish you were with me now. (07/28/03).
It is 20 wks. today since you left this earth. Again, I have to tell you that I miss you more than ever. You know we just communicated through April, and I want to thank you for hanging in there with me in trying to straighten out all the things that have been going wrong with this move. Just know that no matter what else is going on, I will never stop loving you and wishing I could see you and touch you again. You were the best and most loving and faithful friend I ever had. Please get some rest yourself, but stay with me too. I couldn't stop crying at the end of the conversation. Charity, I know you understand, and want me to see the humor, but I don't think I will for awhile. Maybe someday.
(08/08/03). Sunday night around midnight I was in the bathroom and I heard 1 loud meow. I have not seen any cats around, and I do believe it was you letting me know that you are here with me in spirit. Charity, you have given me several signs, but the one I would really like is to see you, even for a minute. As I always say, I love you and miss you all the time. Say hello to Faith, Hope, and Fluffy for me.
(08/19/03). It is 5 months today since we have been apart. I cannot stop missing you and the emptiness is with me all the time. I hope you like the poem I posted on the message board, and in the Poem Section of Rainbow's Bridge. Charity, I loved and still love you so much it hurts. Take care of yourself and keep talking to me every night, and I will keep writing.
(08/21/03). I just did my Friday night ritual with you. Last night I was waiting in the car for Steve and calling for you. Again, "Unchained Melody" came on the car radio. It was like you answered my call. Last night we were having computer problems again. I talked to you through the candle and asked if you could help, and I know the answer was yes. Most people would not believe this, but after I blew out the candle, I turned around and the computer was working. Thank you. The ache in my heart for you will not go away. I don't think it ever will.
(08/22/03). When I talked to you earlier today, I knew you really wanted to tell me something. I asked if you could try to let April know this. Well, you are really persistent. As you know Patricia called me, and you told me a lot through her. I am going to try to do what Patricia and you told me. She also said you are a little princess, which is just what I always said. Thank you sweetheart for trying so hard for me. But, take care of yourself, too. I love you and miss your physical presence so much.(08/25/03). I have been thinking about you all day today, and feeling really sad. I had a dream that I was visiting you in the hospital. You were in a real hospital bed, and I was sitting with you. That is all I can remember. Also it's Friday, and I just did my usual Friday night ritual for you. I talk to your picture all the time, and keep telling you how much I wish we were still together. I don't think I will ever stop loving you and missing your physical presence. You take care of yourself, and please keep watching over me. (09/05/03). I have been feeling really bad because the last 3 days I have not been getting much when I use the candle to communicate with you. I think you have been with John, but I really am not sure. Please Charity, do what you need to do, but I still need to know that we can keep communicating. I love you and miss you.
(09/14/03). I felt better after our session with April. You are very wise. I think you sent me an angel tonight. There was a problem with my car. A man named Jimmy was in the auto store at the same time Steve and I were. When we got back to the parking lot he said he thought I was following him. Steve started talking to him, and he said he could fix the problem. About 2 1/2 hrs. later he did just that, and did not want to be paid. If you had anything to do with this, thank you sweetheart. I needed a miracle. Also thank you for trying to help John and Steve, too. We are approaching 6 months since you were called home, and I am really feeling it. It seems like so long ago, and it also seems like yesterday. I will never stop missing you and wishing things could have been different. You take care. Love you and miss you.
(09/18/03). Two seasons have now passed, and it is 6 months today since we had to part. I still long to see you, hold you, and touch you. I cannot stop missing you. I hope you are happy where you are, and have a lot of friends. I've been trying to think about the good things, like how you liked to sit in the sun on the patio, sit on the reclining chair, sleep next to me, and how much you loved it when we brought you some shrimp. But, I will never forget the way you looked at me those last few wks., and now I know what you were saying to me. I think it was I love you, but I have to leave you. Charity, you will live in my heart forever, and I will meet you at the bridge when my time comes.
(09/21/03). Today is the 1st birthday of mine that you are not with me physically. I so wanted you to be here today, as I do everyday. Maybe you will celebrate for me on the bridge with your friends. I love you.
(09/23/03). Another 1st without you. Tonight is the 1st night of the Jewish New Year. I had my aunt and cousin over for dinner and set up the table really nice. I could not stop remembering how you loved that and would always sit waiting for people to arrive. I hope you were here in spirit. I really missed seeing you at the table tonight. I love you and miss you so much. Maybe you had a dinner with some of your friends at Rainbow Bridge tonight. I hope so.
(09/26/03). I am missing you so much I can't stand it. I went to the Humane Society today and there was a cat named Fluffy that was a Maine Coon Mix. The cat looked like you and as you know Fluffy was the cat I had before you. They said it was a male, 4 months. It was huge, and meowed at me, like you and Fluffy did on occasion. This really freaked me out. I want you so badly, but I know that I cannot have you in physical form. I just can't find the right one, and if I do I don't know how I can handle all the finances. I'm venting to you because you are the only one who really understands. Charity, I love you, miss you, and all that. I know you know when I am upset, and you were always the one who could give me comfort. I want you to be happy at Rainbows Bridge and have fun with your friends, but please keep giving me the signs that I know you are around me.
(10/2/03). It is 29 wks. Today (10/10/03) at 5:15 P.M. that you had to leave. I just did my usual Friday night ritual with the music and prayers. It seems like yesterday. I have not stopped missing you for a moment. I know you are enjoying Rainbows Bridge, and are watching and helping those that love you, and you love here on earth. You know I am trying to find a cat to give a home to, but am having a hard time doing that. I trust in what you have passed on to me in through April, and hopefully will know when it is right. I love you as much as ever, and always will. Just stay the beautiful little princess that you are, and keep giving me signs. I just wish I could hold you and touch you again, but I guess I will have to wait until I get to the Bridge.
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