by Romy Dawson
Dear Sooty,
Since December, we have had a new furry baby, a little black cat, with green eyes, with an overwhelming curiosity and zest for life. We adopted her in the hope that she could help us come to terms with the gap that your departure left in our lives. This little one, Kira is her name, is adorable, sweet, friendly, affectionate (to some extent as she has not been treated well) and is bursting with personality. She is only young, 10 months old, and has already suffered at the hands of people. Because of this, we cannot rush her into loving us, but it's so hard.
You lived to please us, and at the moment, Kira lives to please herself. But she is getting better. When we first had her, she would lie at the bottom of the bed, well out of our reach, but still wanting our company. Now, as the weeks have gone on, she has moved steadily up the bed, to a point where she is quite happy between David and myself, though not quite how you would lie between us. While sometimes she makes us feel better, sometimes she makes us feel worse, because it isn't you. We know this is what you would have wanted, but trust me when I say that nobody can or will ever replace you. We miss so many things about you, most of all the way you were just happy to be with us, and happy to be on anybody's lap anytime. Despite the fact that Kira has the toughest act in the world to follow, she is doing really well in that respect. She is so much her own person that we have never confused her with you. Tia is not sure about having this "teenager" around wanting to play all the time, but rest assured that Kira adores her and would never treat her badly. If you and Tia could have produced offspring, she/he would have been just like Kira.
We keep your box with your ashes with our little "treasures" we have collected from our different holidays on that special shelf, and you are surrounded by little black cats of varying stones. Mummy's break has healed now and I can walk much better. Somehow, I cannot help but wonder whether you left us, because I stayed. Did you, somehow, make a deal with God above and exchanged your life for mine? I should have died in that accident, we both know that. The memory of hearing those huge lorry wheels go past my head will stay with me till I die and regaining consciousness afterwards was almost like coming back to life, leaving something wonderful behind me. If you did strike a deal, thank you for my life. I assume you are now our guardian angel.
We think of you every day and talk of you as if you were visiting friends and you were going to return soon. We don't really compare Kira to you, it would be like comparing roses with orchids, there can be no comparison. We love you very much, and we both miss you, but particularly Daddy misses you a lot, though he is doing well with Kira. Given time, I can already see signs of it, she will become as devoted to him as you were. She needs patience, love and understanding, but I can see now she will become the loving cat that we both need, though David cannot see it yet, I think. She has received little love in her life, less than you when you found us, so she is still a bit suspicous of us, though less now. She purrs exactly the way you used to and nearly all the time, and that is a sign to me. She eats everything in sight, and even drops her food on the floor the way you used to. Perhaps, if you have a chance, you could have a chat with her. David needs her affection and love more that I do, he so doted on you, his little girl.
We know we will see you again. Don't worry about us, baby, even when we cry, remember:
It's a people thing.
xxx
Love Mummy