Memories of Casey 6/22/13 - 9/12/15
by Cindy
6-22-13 I have missed you so much. There is not a day that goes by that I am thinking of you. I love you more every day. I miss you Casey. So many things have been going on. I am certain you know what I speak of. If you were here I could hold you, love you, and life would feel better. I don't know how to cope anymore. The pain is getting to be too much. But when I think of you and when my clients see your picture I smile and happily tell them about you, the good times and sadly the day you left. I know you waited for me when the vet lost you. I was right there I know you heard me calling. I couldn't find you mainly because of the lies the vet told me. I am so very sorry I trusted him to keep you safe. I will never forgive him, I can't Casey. I have tried. For you I will continue to search in my heart to find a way to forgive him for the fear, the pain that he caused without remorse. I love you Casey. Life is so hard without you. I want to touch you, see your tail wag and hug you. When I had cancer you never left my side. You knew I was so sick and you somehow willed me to get better. Just having you there gave me reason to live. Sometimes I get scared because with you and Boo gone and Maggie is 14 when she goes I want to go to the bridge with her so we can all be together again. I know you are waiting for me. I love you with every once of my being. I will always love you. Until we are together again, remember I will always love you... Mommy 08-5-2013 OMG Casey you have been gone for 4 years its hard to believe. The time and the calendar tells me how much time has passed but in my heart it was yesterday I love and miss you so much. There is never a day when I am not thinking of you. or telling a co worker or a client a little story about
you. You are forever on my mind and even though we didn't have as much time together as I wanted I hope I made your life happy I hope you know how much I love you. I know you forgave your abusers the ones who had you for 4 years and then i remember walking into the shelter you were the dirtiest skinniest most pitiful dog in the shelter but when I looked into your eyes I saw something special there was a depth to you Casey that I felt the moment our eyes met and the second I touched you. I loved from that very moment and I knew you belonged with me. Wow wasn't I right you were the greatest dog in the world so kind so gentle not a mean bone in your body. You had the ability to forgive and I knew you forgave those who treated you so bad. I knew every time our eyes met. I don't quite understand Casey but there was something different about you and I believe in my heart as much as you needed me I needed you. There is a lesson to e learned from what you brought and gave to this life. One day I hope you are able to tell me just what the lesson was. I love you Casey. Until we are together again I, will always love you..Mommy
09-14-2013 I come to you in grief, My beautiful daughter Kelly has taken her life. I pray Casey that you were there to welcome her home. Please send me a rainbow today and then I will believe she is with you and Boo and that her pain is gone. My heart is so heavy. I honestly don't know what to do. I want to come to the bridge with all of you. But I know I can't I know I still have a job. I don't know what because all I feel and know is pain. I have sent a picture of Kelly to you. Until we meet again I will always love you..Mommy 10-20-2013 Hi Casey I love you. Please send me a sign if you have found Kelly. Its been 46 days since she took her life. Please send me a sign or tell Kelly to send me a sign. I am so sad and afraid my boy. Please I need to know she is free of pain and can see me. It seems impossible that Kelly is gone. I never gave up on her, she gave up please tell her its ok I forgive her and then tell her to visit me in some way. I love you both forever. Until we are together I will always love you..
12-28-13 I miss you casey life can be so cruel and I don't usually understand why there is so much pain. I can hardly stand it. I sure hope you found Kelly and I hope she is really with you and that there is really a heaven above this earth. My faith is weak which is why I keep asking for a sign. it is all I have as far as hope goes. Tayler is being so cold about her mom. I understand she is angry an she has right to but she behave without love or compassion. I know she loves her mom but it honestly breaks my heart. This sadness is more than I can bear. I love you to the moon and back. Until we are together again I, will always love you, Mommy
1-4-14 Another New Year. Time passes quickly but yet the days seem eternal. I love you Casey I hope you know just how much I love you. You were a gift that I was so lucky to have you to share life. Please tell me where do we go Casey? Is there a heaven Is Kelly with you? Are you all happy, healthy, and together?? I want to believe that this is true. I ask one more time, please send me a sign. I'll know when I see it, that it is from you, If Kelly is with you tell her how much I miss and love her. I was finally able to bury her ashes. I gave her my cross and I placed her in her grave. That was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Then I stayed while they covered her with dirt. She is in a beautiful cemetery. I am saving money to buy her a grave stone. I designed one, but they can't make it until it's paid for. I am trying and hopefully I can pay for it by her birthday on May 5th. Well Casey I have to take Maggie out it's snowing she hates the snow you loved it, I remember you pushing the snow with your head and your cute nose would be covered in snow. I love you boy, please tell Kelly I love her and if she can she should visit, I won't be scared. Until we are together, I will always love you..Mommy 6-7-2014 I have not forgotten you my Casey. I love you now and forever. I miss you more than words could say. Maggie is 15 now and I fear it won't be long until she comes to the bridge. I think when she goes to be with you I will come too,Life has become so sad and complicated, I am tired. I cry constantly since Kelly left Please Casey tell her I love her and tell her I need a rainbow. For I now know if I see the rainbow Not only will I know you are waiting for me I will know Kelly is safe. I wish I could find happier things to tell you. I love and I will always love you. I will send you some pictures today. Remember Casey I, will always; love you Mommy 7-4-14 its the 4th of July and I remember how the noise from the fireworks scared you. but I imagine in heaven you see all the beautiful colors in the sky and I think Kelly will be holding you tonight. Please take of each other. Little Mags is starting to show her age, she is no longer eating like she use to,
I pray its jut the heat and she could be getting tired of her chicken. there are only so many ways to make it. I am going to try something new for her tonight please whisper in her ear to eat. God how i worry, I have a feeling that nags at me constantly, I fear Mags will be coming to you soon, I don't think I can stay here on earth once mags goes to the bridge. We may all be together again soon. Me, you, Boo, Kelly, Mags and all my other wonderful special babies.Sometimes I feel scared but then I think about being with again an my fear subsides. I love you Casey, you use to visit can you come tonight? Then I will know that all of you are safe. Kelly hasn't sent me a sign and it will be a year since she left in September. I think perhaps I cry so many tears everyday, I might be missing the signs. You must visit me tonight I will be waiting, I love you. Until we are together, I will always love you, Mommy
08-01-2014 Oh my Casey boy, in 4 days you will be gone 5 years. I can barley believe it. All those bad memories come flooding back on how that Vet could have done what he did to you. I can't stand the pain it brings to my heart, it feels like yesterday. I miss you and I love you so much. I sent you a football because the Broncos have started training camp. Go Broncos, we had so much fun watching the games together. You sure had the "power" to make me smile no matter how bad things got.You made life worth living, You are the best Casey, I can't imagine another gentle soul like you. I love you and miss you. Please Casey if Kelly is in heaven with you please send me a sign. Its been nearly a year and I have not gotten any signs that she is ok. Please tell her how much I love her and I am trying to make sense of her suicide. Let her lay upon your soft fur and bring her peace and comfort. Tell her I want her to visit and I promise I will not be scared. Sometimes it feels like god is testing my strength to see how far I can be pushed, please tell him I cant stand anymore. my strength has turned to weakness so weak I cab hardly walk. I cry a lot buddy, sometimes all day. Everyone I loved has left me in one way or another. I feel empty and worthless. I wonder when it will end, Maggie is very old now; I worry constantly and I dream of going to the bridge with her when it is her time. Then we can all be together. With love in my heart I ask one last time to show me a rainbow then I will know for sure you have found Kelly and you are all together. I love you all to the moon and back a zillion times and more. Until we are together remember I will always love you. Mommy 10-4-14 Casey I love and miss you so much. There was something about you Casey you seemed to understand things most dogs can't. I hope you BOO AND Kelly are together. Please Casey boy send me a sign and ask Kelly to send a rainbow then I will know you are together. My faith is week because I will never understand. I am sending you some new pictures, I hope they make their way to the rainbow bridge. I love you and miss you so much, there is not an hour in the day when you are not on my mind and it my heart. Remember Casey, I will always love you. Mommy
10/18/2014 I love you Casey, I am really sad today. Please know how much you are loved and missed. Casey please show me a sign that Kelly is with you. I can't stand this pain. I want her to come back. Please Casey send me a sign, I love you, Boo, and Kelly. I need to know you are all together. Mommy 11-22-14 Casey I love and miss you so much. Time has not changed the love I have for you and the pain of missing you. Please Casey send me a sign that you, Boo and Kelly are together. I miss you all so much. I wish you would visit. Tell Kelly how much I love and miss her. My heart is broken boy. For all of you, I love you to the moon and back a zillion times. Until we are together, remember, I will always love you. Mommy 12-25-14 Merry Christmas Casey. I love you and miss you more than words can say. So sad I cancelled Christmas because I can't stand the pain of losing Kelly, Please boy if she is with you tell her how much I love and miss her. Please tell her to send me a sign. Even though this is a sad day I love you so much. I will love you and miss you forever. Until we are together Casey remember; I will always love you.
02-22-2015 Casey I love you and miss you, Please send a sign from heaven. Please hug Kelly while you wait for me. Until we are together, I will always love you..Mommy
8/5/15 Casey Its been six years since you went to the rainbow bridge. Casey it seems like yesterday. I love and miss you more everyday. God Casey life is hard. I hope and pray my boy that you really are waiting for me. I want to hold you and kiss you. I have so much love for you. I hope you know how very much I love you.Until we are together again, I will always love you.
9/12/15 Casey football season is here again. We have so many good memories of football. You were so much fun during the games. I miss you more than ever, your jersey is hung up so in a way you are here. I love you my big boy. Please send me a sign that Boo Boo and Kelly are with you. I need to know you know my faith can be weak but I am trying hard to understand and believe. I am going to Kelly's grave today, I am bringing some of your ashes to give Kelly and then I know you are together. I am bringing some of Boo's ashes too. Maybe then I will see a "sign". Casey please give Kelly the rose I sent for her. I love you forever, until we are together again, I will always love you. Mommy
Comments would be appreciated by the author, Cindy
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