by Kaminski Cheryl
I know the pain the you are feeling very well! I had to put my Tigger down on Monday March 17, 2003. He was 15 years 3 months old I had found him at the Humane Society three years ago when I was there looking for a dog. I had seen this beautiful cat in its cubicle with his back to everyone I had asked what was wrong with him and the lady said nothing just nobody wants him because he is an old cat. Well I never did get that dog, but I did come home with a beautiful cat that was so full of love when he finally came out of his shell and out from behind my grandfather clock. He had developed a Hyperthyroid and went from 15lbs to 6lbs he had it for about 1 1/2 than in December he started pooping everywhere in the house and I thought it was just the thyroid problem because it was out of wack and we were trying to get it back to better levels with higher doses of medication, the doc said to give him some immodium, but that didn't help than she gave me another kind of meds for the diarrhea and it didn't help finally the vet said that she has one more medication to give to Tigger and if it doesn't get rid of the diarrhea than it is Cancer of the Bowels and there would be nothing else she could do. God I feel so guilty because sunday night he cried so loudly all night long it broke my heart I got up to be with him for awhile it was about 3 A.M and sat with him telling him Mommy loves him and if he wants to go just let me know somehow. I went back to bed and in the morning something made me call the vet to make arrangements to bring him in. I had to have my boyfriend bring me because I just wanted to hold my baby and not let go. It was so quiet on the ride there which was odd in itself because Tigger always put up a fuss going to the vet, but he was so quiet and just kissing on me. We got to the vet and went into a room and waited I was crying hysterically already and Tigger was just purring and kissing me. The vet came in and explained everything she was going to do. I nodded that I understood and she gave Tigger the sedative he just layed in my arms and put his head on my shoulder. I so much wanted to tell the vet I couldn't go through the rest of the procedure, but knew I had to be strong and let her. Five minutes later she came in and said it was time to give the lethal part of the injection I was holding so tight to my baby because I knew he was just sleeping and I could stop it right now and bring him home, but I didn't I held him as he got the last injection and within seconds she said he was gone. I have never cried so hard in my life and I haven't been able to stop crying. My boyfriend doesn't understand to him Tigger was just a cat, but to me he was so much more...........I wonder if this pain will ever go away it hurts so much.......I feel so guilty for "giving up" or at least I feel like I gave up. I have cried everyday I sometimes think I hear him and I turn, but he isn't there. I would give anything to have my little talker back here. Is it true that they are waiting for us???? I so much want to believe that!!! because I want to be able to hold Tigger again and feel his kissses on my face.
Tigger Mommy loves you please don't think I didn't want you. I just couldn't stand the thought of you being in pain and living so I could have you here. I miss you so very much and prayed many times to just let me die with you, but I have to take care of "OUR" Human baby I know you would want that. Hugs my baby wait for me.
Love you Human Mommy Cheryl