by Lori Chapman
Josie
You came to me as a 7 week old kitten, so scared so tiny, so unloved, you had been found by the Cats Protection Legue huddled round your starving Mother, in a dark dank cellar, neighbours had heard your pleas for weeks, but had not been able to locate the noise, eventually you were located, under weight under size & so very scared of the outside world.
Well after all daylight must of been a novelty to you, how come its light Mum, you proberbly asked, all i've seen is darkness, is this a good thing or a bad thing, but it was a good thing my sweetheart, you went to your foster Mums house with your biological Mother & siblings, were you learnt how to play (you wasn't too sure of that one was you) & how to interact with others, mind that was a task that you want to good at really either, you were a loner, then you met me.......
The day I brought you home was a really happy day for me, I'd always longed for a pure black cat & here I was the proud owner of my very own black cat, or so I thought, you had other ideas, you be owned! No, more like you owned me & you did, anything & everything you wanted you got, no Questions asked, because of you horrible start in life, the outside world was not something that you liked, you prefered to watch the world go by behind the safety of glass even if the window was wide open the farthest you ventured was by sitting on the sill, yes the outside world looked nice, but you were going to pass on it if its all the same thank-you very much.
Right from the start of me getting you, you had something not right with you, you had some kind of breathing problem, so of to the vets we trotted, you looking as much to say 'were you taking me, I wanna stay with you, please, don't leave me' & when he weighed you I could of died, you were so how shall I put this......erm...tactfully.......overweight, but you would insist that no you want, dieting was not something you cared to believe in, for years I kept telling the vets you had a thirod problem, I was just an over anxious owener & to basically go away & stop bothering us we are busy your cat is fine, but you want fine was you.
But the years rolled slowly by & you grew up into the most beautiful sleek black cat I had ever known, your eyes twinkled your coat shone, everything about you screamed class, but your breathing, & you were just so funny, one on your own, you hated me having boyfriends, hated that totally, that was not allowed it was just me & you, in fact you hated anyone entering 'OUR' world, even my friends you would sit at your vantage point & stare them out, no this was our world just you & I & no-one would get in the way, you were more like a guard cat than anything else, you once scared the window cleaner & he nearly fell off his ladder, danger money, think thats what we were paying him, hahaha, poor man, no wonder he retired, was nothing to do with old age, think more to do with a black cat that laid in wait.
This is upsetting me, typing this, still not a day goes by, why did you have to leave me that night, you were only 7years old Josie, no-one is ever going to replace you & what I wouldn't give for one more day with you, I searched hours, days weeks for you, I blew my printer up printing out flyers for you, all i keep thinking is, if I hadn't of had the back door open would you still be with me now? But its not something new every summer we always had the back door open, 6 summers you never bothered, you used to sit on a cusion on the step, sun bathing, but this night was differant, you were differant, I remember you sitting on my knee whilst I watched cable, you nugged me under my chin & when I looked down at you, you kissed me, then went to sit on your cusion, I thought you were just catching that last rays of sun before it went down, if I knew what I know now then I would not of shut the door. But you see Josie I needed to go to the store, so I closed the door, thinking that as you wasn't sat there you had come back in as a minute ago you had been, all it took was a minute, a minute if my stupidity, a lifetime of regret, I knew when i came back from the shop that you want in the house, you always came up to me to see what I had bought you, only this time you want there, that night I was out till 2am, the next day after a sleepless night I was up at 7.30am printing out the first batch of flyers, but you never cam home, I had a lot of calls from well meaning people about seeing a black cat, but when I had got my hopes up then seen these cats I knew they was not you, you were unmistakable you were my Josie. I would of known you anywhere.
A year has almost passed, life had moved on for some I guess, but not for us, I have to accept now what people were telling me, that your time had come & you had gone to find the bridge & I know you are happy, I know you are with friends, playing (wel perhaps not) but I know you are there, just wish you were here with me, you would love the new house baby, it would so be you, a perfect window sill to watch your kingdom from or should that be queendom, your mommy is getting married this year, I know you would not be impressed at that, but its these things you are missing out on babes.
I have 2 more kittens now, as you know no doubht, I named one of them after your CPL name of Jasmine, could never of called them Josie as there was only one Josie & that was you darling.
But you will always be in my heart, my mind & my everyday thoughts, never ever forget that.
I LOVE YOU JOSIE
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