by Connaught ` Catlin
Baby came into my life on Nov. 11. 1986. My daughter and I were
visiting a place called Planet Ocean. I saw what appeared to be
a small "rag" on the ground. But I know in my heart it wasn't.
Instead I found a tiny kitten that appeared to be dying. Her
abdomen was full, her eyes encrusted. Her feral mother had
abondoned her. I called my vet and told him I was bringing in a
dying kitten in to be euthanized. When I got to the vet, he
examined her and told us she was not dying, just full. He
cleaned up her eyes. She was 2 weeks old and weighed 10
ounces. I took her home with feeding instructions, vitamins,
antibiotics and started to work. We fed her every two hours and
watched her carefully. She quickly showed her precious
personality. She was so full of life. and had such a joy for living. A
week later she was very quiet and I took her back to the vet. She
had pneumonia and a viral infection in her eye. He wanted to do
an upper GI. An xray of her stomache using a bariun contrast.
She was diagnosed with mega-esophagus. A congenital
abnormality. That was why her mother abandoned her to die. He
told me she had a 50/50 chance of living. We continued to
carefully watch her and had to feed her on a elevated dish to help
prevent her from regurgitating her food.
The weeks passed. She was on antibiotics a long time and we
thought she was going to lose her eye. She was named Baby. It
suited her so well. Baby and I developed a strong relationship
from the start. I worked endlessly to save her life and she
decided she owned me and the I was placed on this earth to do
her bidding. We continued this was for the rest of her life. She
was a tiny queen and I her loyal subject. She had so much
personality. She was my heart. I could never look into her face
without melting and my heart would light up.
Over the years I was always her person. She always slept with
me. When I entered a room she would burst into Purr and fill the
room with the sound. She was 8 pounds of heart and feistiness.
We were fortunate. Over the years she was healthy. She vomited
more than most cats, but never had another bout of pneumonia.
Baby gradually became weaker and we made it easier for her to
get up on the bed and get to her food and water. She still ruled
the house. Her breathing started look different. Gradually it was
obvious something was wrong. I had a vet come to our home
and she discovered that Baby's lungs were filled with fluid. There
was nothing we could do. The vet was amazed that she was still
with us. Dr. Tina told me that somethimes a pet hangs on
because they don't want to say goodbye and that I needed to give
her permission to go. The next morning her breathing was
worse and I called and made arrangements for home euthansia.
It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. My daughter
was out of town and had not had a chance to say goodbye. As I
waited for the vet, I talked to her about her life with me and how
much she added to my life and how I would see her again
someday. I chose her little bed for her final resting place. Since
my daughter wasn't with us I played a home video so Baby could
hear my daughters voice before she left us. She purred until she
died. How could she look so young amd sweet and leave me. I
placed one my crystals next to hear her chest as she passed
and asked her to place her soul into it she I could always have
her near me. The next day I took the crystal to a friend who can
read crystals. She described Baby, smiled and told me that Baby
was " just fine" and that she loved me very much and that she did
not leave her soul in the crystal because she left it in my heart
so that she could always be with me.
All animal lovers face this time. Sometimes our little friends die
peacefully in their sleep. Many times we have to make the
decision I had to. The loss is always intense and keenly felt. I
wish my heart wasn't so big. But maybe if it wan't so big, i would
not have tried so hard to keep a 10 ounce dying kiutten alive and
would not have had 17 beloved years with her. Oh damn, I miss
sher so much,