by Tanya Barrie
17 years ago my mothers shepard was poisioned, my younger sister went out and paid 50 dollars for a puppy to give to Mum the runt of the litter she was only 5 weeks old skinny and she walked funny, My Mum took one look at her and said she did not want her she looked small and sickly so I offered to take her and find her a home, I lived in a flat with my boyfriend (now Husband) where we were not allowed dogs so I snuck her in while I tried to find her a home found one but the next day they bought her back with the same concerns my mother had had that she was a sickly runt that would cost money, so I found her another home but yet again 2 days later she came back so again I found her another home this time the lady I worked with had 2 dogs already and saw her and said she would take good care of her so that was that I had found this puppy a home , but that night I could not sleep as I was thinking about this puppy and worried all night about her, so the next night I went to see this Lady and check on the puppy she seemed to be happy but when she saw me she came bouncing over to see me. I then told a little lie to the woman saying that my mother had changed her mind and wanted the dog back she said she understood and returned the dog to me to take back to mums ,but alas it was me that wanted the dog not mum, I wasn't even thinking about what I was going to say to my boyfried let alone the landlord. Pete (boyfriend) was ok about it told me I was too soft, the Landlord well I told him my sister had gone overseas for a couple of weeks and askd me to dog sit, lucky he was ok with that, so thats how I found my best friend. We called her Tammie and it did not take long for her to grow, eating one of all my shoes along the way. The landlord grew to like her or he must have because for the next year until our own home was built he never asked why she was still there. Tammie and I were always together she was beside me all the time from the shower the Toilet to sleeping beside me in bed she followed me, Tammie got the nick name Buddy (Bud) my buddy my buddy everwhere I go she goes, it was an add on the tv at the time for a boys doll called my buddy . Tammie loved the car as soon as the keys were touched she would jump up and down barking then run the car if the window was open she would jump in. We had 2 children a few years later and she watched them like a hawk she would even tell them off if they did something wrong by barking she would sleep under there basinets and check on them all the time, this was the only other time she did not sleep on the bed with us. Tammie through her whole life showed nothing but unconditional love for me I miss her terribly, she always put me first at night in bed if we moved she would hop off the bed until we had settled then get back on. Everyday when I would get home from work there she was her face and eyes so happy that Mum was home and I was always so happy to see her she always made me feel good.5 years ago there were 2 cats dumped outside my work they were only 3 weeks old, I bought them home, they had no fur because of ringworm and needed to be fed every 2 hours well Tammie took over and raised them as her own, and the cats belived she was there Mum I have never seen anything or anybody quite so remarkable as my best friend Tammie, the years passed and like in everyones life there were times when life seemed so bad everything was going wrong, Tammie got me through those times a head on my lap and a kiss made everthing ok without her there were times I would not have been able to deal with she saved me from myself.At almost 17yrs old just before Christmas 2002 Tammies legs not working as good as they used too,which could have something to do with her over active childhood, she could leap a 6 foot fence in a single bound, but in all those years she never wandered away from home not ever! Tammie had to have the tip of her tail removed as she crushed it in the door, big joke most people have there dogs tails taken off when they are pups at the beginning of their lives not toward the end then a few weeks later Tammie had a fall out the back landing we think on a brick cutting her right back leg to the bone after much care it healed but her leg had lost its strength which made it so she could no longer walk without help so up and down the stairs I carried her where ever she needed to go and held her back up so she still walked alittle everyone thought I was nuts carring a big dog around but as I told them she had looked after me for 17 years and I was only too happy to do it for her as I would do most anything for her I had a trolly made for her but she had trouble using it, so I carried her, as she could no longer hop up on the bed I bought her an air bed of her own and some nights would sleep on her bed. I excerised her legs and massaged her to make up for the lack of walking herself. Yet still coming home from work to a face of an Angel who was so pleased to see her Mum everyday. I did not want her to be uncomfortable or in any pain so weekly trips to the vet for checks to make sure she was ok, The vet assured me that other than not being able to walk unaided she was fine but her age was against her as we all knew the Angels were already watching her, I prayed that they would take her befour she suffered at all and that I would not have to make the call myself she is in all repects my daughter my best friend in the world the only one that was always there for me as I tried to be for her, right to the end she was putting me first I think she stayed for so long because she knew how lost I would be without her but on the 19 of February 2003 at 11 25pm My husband said we should go to bed I had to change Tammies bed first I picked her up and put her back down, she looked at me funny I burst into tears called for Pete (my Husband) as I knew she was saying goodbye I was with her face to face til the her eyes saw no more,at 11 30 pm I felt my heart breack in two. Even then she was thinking of me she had picked her time so I could be with her and that Pete would be home so I would not be alone as he works alot of nights, for this I am eternally grateful, I had a lifetime of love and friedship from Tammie but it will be another lifetime befour my heart heals if indeed it ever does, I know she will be there waiting for me and I will see her again but it hurts so bad some days I don't like go out much now as I don'nt like Tammie not being here when I get home. Although I am sure I have smelt her walk past me and even caught a glimz of her, I know better than anyone that Tammie had more than earned her wings, She was my Angel here on earth and now she is still my Angel she just has wings. I miss her everyday , I tell her that I love her and hope she is ok, my heart and mind have her paw prints etched in them forever, I feel lost without her, a friend told me that Tammie would seen me another puppy to love a wonderful though but I'm not sure I could love another to be able to give them the love they deserve and need as that belongs to Tammie an impossability it seems as there is only one Tammie my Doodle, my baby girl. My 13 yr old daughter Penny said she is in sausage heaven as Tammie could smell a sausage at 100 paces her favourite food. Tammie you have always been and will always be my one and only Bud I love you unconditionally with all that is me, my Baby girl Tammie
Tanya Barrie