by LISA BEUTER
OUR SADIE MAE WAS AT A PET STORE IN THE MALL AND I SWORE I WOULD PICK ONE FROM A SHELTER. BUT THE MOMENT I LAID EYES ON HER, WE CONNECTED....SHE GOT ALL EXCITED IN HER PEN AND PAID NO ATTENTION TO ANYONE BUT ME. OF COURSE THE WORKER CAUGHT ON AND GOT HER OUT AND PUT HER IN MY ARMS. THAT WAS ALL IT TOOK. I EVEN TRIED HANDING HER TO OTHER CUSTOMERS, BUT SHE WHIMPERED AND STRUGGLED TO GET BACK INTO MY ARMS. MY HUSBAND SAID NO, BUT OF COURSE WE TOOK HER HOME ANYWAY.
SADIE SLEPT WITH ME OR THE KIDS EVERY NIGHT. WE BONDED IMMEDIATELY.....ME AND THE KIDS TO THIS PRECIOUS, AND LOVING DOG. SHE WAS A HUGE PART OF MY LIFE. I HATED LEAVING HER WHEN I HAD TO GO OUT, AND WAS EXCITED TO SEE HER THE MOMENT WE RETURNED. I HAD NEVER BONDED THAT QUICKLY OR DEEPLY WITH A DOG BEFORE. I ALWAYS HAD A DOG AS A CHILD, BUT THIS WAS MY FIRST ONE ON MY OWN, WE HAD JUST BOUGHT A HOME.
SADIE WRAPPED HERSELF AROUND ALL OF US. ON JANUARY 4TH, 2002, SADIE BROKE HER COLLAR AND WAS KILLED BY A CAR. I WAS DEVESTATED AND STILL AM. MY HUSBAND PICKS ON ME, BECAUSE WE HAVE ANOTHER DOG NOW, THAT WE RESCUED FROM "FOUR PAWS RESCUE" A NO-KILL FACILITY FUNDED BY THE OWNER'S OWN POCKETS. SABRINA IS OUR NEW DOG, AND SHE IS SO SWEET. BUT SHE'S NOT SADIE. I LOVE HER, BUT I CAN'T GET CLOSE TO HER FOR SOME REASON. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I BLAME MYSELF FOR SADIE'S DEATH, BECAUSE I WASN'T WATCHING HER WHEN SHE WAS TIED OUT AND DIDN'T SEE HER COLLAR HAD BROKEN. I NEIGHBOR KNOCKED ON MY DOOR AND THERE WAS MY SADIE MAE LYING IN THE ROAD, DEAD. I WAS COMPLETELY DEVESTATED AND SOBBED FOR HOURS AND DAYS AFTER.
WE HAD A MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR HER, WE ALL PET HER FOR THE LAST TIME AND BURIED HER UNDERNEATH A BEAUTIFUL-SMELLING BLOSSOM TREE IN MY MOM'S BACKYARD ON THE FARM. I KNOW SHE'S IN HEAVEN WAITING FOR ME. BUT I REALLY THINK THAT BECAUSE SHE WAS THE BEST DOG EVER, THAT GOD CHOSE HER TO GO TO HEAVEN MAYBE TO BE WITH A CHILD THAT LOST HIS OR HER LIFE AND NEEDED A PET TO LOVE. THAT'S WHAT I HAVE TO THINK. I AM 36 YEARS OLD AND I FEEL SO CHILDISH....WE SEE PICTURES OR VIDEOS WITH HER ON IT AND I STILL CRY. SOME PEOPLE JUST HAVE AN ACUTE SENSITIVITY WITH THEIR LOVE FOR A PET AND WHEN YOU LOSE THAT PET, IT TURNS YOUR LIFE UPSIDE DOWN. I AM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.....BUT I LOVE ALL ANIMALS AND I SO WANT TO GIVE SABRINA THE SAME LOVE I HAD FOR SADIE, I JUST HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO DO IT YET.
I CAN SEE SADIE RUNNING TOWARD ME AT RAINBOW BRIDGE WHEN MY DAY COMES TO JOIN HER IN HEAVEN. I DREAM ABOUT THAT. SADIE WILL NEVER LEAVE MY HEART. I AM CRYING JUST WRITING THIS.