(this story might be triggering. it describes euthanasia in detail. but remember that this is a memorial for him. we need to keep the good memories of our pets alive.)

this story starts w the day our family cat crossed the rainbow bridge. he was a good boy. he lived for 16 years , almost 17 (which is my lucky number !)

but we noticed that in the last week of life , he ended up losing a pound. up to 6lbs. he was sneezing. bloody nose , etc.
also count the hyperthyroidism. that must have hurt him.

the vet said something about his quality of life.
so for our check-up , me and my family waited around an hour. because he was so constipated , they had to take the fecal matter out.
on the phone , he said he wasnt breathing good. everything was slowing down.

we drove in silence at 5pm. we were scared. there was a 90% chance that he was going to cross over to the rainbow bridge.
so we went there. and i was already in tears by the time we walked through the door.

they gave us a lot of time to say our goodbyes. my dad said a prayer to him. my mum was crying. the vet told us that were sorry.
the sedation made his sweet little mouth curl up into a smile. i petted him.

then they asked for the final injection. if were ready.
ill be honest , i wasnt ready. but we had to do whats best for him. so we agreed to it.
i watched it. and keep in mind , this is my first experience w losing a pet. at least we did it in the most humane way possible.
i remember the medicine was red. and the blanket he was wrapped in was purple. and the book that they gave me to read , as well.
it was called "all dogs go to heaven."
i must have read the first page before breaking down.

they kept on pushing the red medicine in his vein. and then his eyes were open. his stomach was like a stone. he passed away so peacefully that they had to check his heart.
i didnt want to leave. i hugged his body and cried.
they cremated him an hour later. or maybe a day later. im not sure.
we didnt want the ashes , only the clay pawprints.
we needed to remember him as he was.
and that , to me , was a fair deal.

i think that... it got bad instantly. crying. nightmares , maybe ?
but i want you to know that this is a site for healing. i might not heal for a while. but the pet that you loved so dearly is now over the rainbow bridge. your pet. my pet. theyre all young again. theyre loved so dearly by whichever god you believe in.

theres going to be a lack of hope for a while. but they are in a place where they are young again. where they are healthy. loved just as much as we did on earth. i love you all<3 stay strong.