by Romy
I never knew you, yet, I grieve for you. I'm so so terribly sorry, if only I had looked underneath my car before I moved off, this would not have happened. When I felt the car move over what I thought was a stone, I was confused. I heard your shriek of pain and looked in my rear view mirror and saw you lying there. My heart stopped, I had run over a little cat, beautiful creature of cream and brown.
I ran over to you and saw you gasping, your non-seeing eyes staring blankly at me as if you were trying to understand what had happened. All that blood, I stroked you as you struggled to breath through all the blood coming out of your nose and mouth and my sobs got stuck in my throat. What had I done??! Frantically I tried to think, then remembered the box that Tia and Kira liked to play in, a plain card board box from a supermarket. I ran back into the house to get the box and put you in it as gently as I could. Then I drove to our vet, trying to comfort you as best as I could while driving like a lunatic, apologising to you all the time, begging you not to die, "please live, if you do, I promise I will look after you for the rest of your life, please, please don't die" was all I could think of saying. As your breathing became more laboured, I knew I would be too late, but I had to try. I reached our vet, parked the car, took you out and ran towards the surgery, knowing I was too late, but hoping against all hope that I was wrong. The nurse took one look at you and ushered me into the surgery. I could not say anything except that I never meant to hurt you, you poor creature.
The vet came out and confirmed the poor thing had died, had died of a skull fracture inflicted by me, me and my car. It's a stain on my soul, why did I not look????????! I lost our beloved Sooty in November 2001, now I was going to be the direct cause of someone else's grief, had been the direct cause of someone to die. When Sooty had to be put to sleep, I felt as if my heart had been torn out out my body, now I know I'm the cause of inflicting that same pain to someone else has made me miserable beyond belief. She had no collar, was not microchipped, maybe she did not belong, but I cannot believe it, she was well-fed. Her owner may never know what happened, and will always wonder what happened. That's why I'm grieving for this little cat I never knew, would like to enter her into Rainbowsbridge's list of stories and poem and so immortalise her. Please, please, please forgive me little cat, because I will never forgive myself. The people you belonged to loved you and I know you will be waiting for them. One day, maybe, I will meet you and I can ask your forgiveness for taking you away from them before your time.
Your last moments will be with me for the rest of my life and you can rest assured that from this day on, I will check both our cars and encourage others to do so, though it's too late for you.
Rest, little cat, beautiful cream and brown little creature that I never knew and yet will always be remembered.
I lit a candle for you, together with one for our little Soot.
Sooty, please look after her until her person arrives at Rainbowsbridge and make sure she's OK.
Goodnight you two. The little girl I knew and the one I never knew, you will be in my thoughts always.