by Margie
My PQ Parker-Dog
I remember the day we received the call that Sprout, off on her big adventure to breed, had given birth to you and your litter-mates. The breeder listed all the attributes of the first three puppies - how beautiful they were, what great championship qualities they had - and then she said there was another puppy, a runt, that she hadn't expected. You had been hiding under a rib, as you would later hide under beds, enjoying the searching game. She said you were just "Pet Quality". In reality, you were the best one. You were such a good little guy. Your smooth black fur was so soft - you were the velveteen dog. With a sausage on your butt instead of a regular tail. You brought so much happiness and love to me. You loved to wear clothes, hated to go outside in the rain, despised the vacuum cleaner and loved your fleece Chewman. You loved to bark at people for trying to leave and would beg so silently from a distance for a bite off our plate. You loved to sleep on the bed when I snuck you up there, and you loved to go to "Summer Camp" at Dad's. And you loved me, always. Despite all the sicknesses and all the medicine, all the trips to the vet and all the shots. I never knew that dogs could develop congestive heart disease. For such a little guy, you showed such strength and determination. You fought this for over two years, taking your medine-and-cheese balls twice a day. If we could have just beaten that last skin infection, maybe things would have been fine for a little while more. Just a little while more. More time for me to snuggle with you, to sing the "Applehead Song" to you, to put your winter coat and boots on you one more time. More time to have my special little Pet Quality Parker in my life. PQ Parker-Dog. You were so brave that last trip to the vet's, even though you couldn't breathe very well. I think you knew. You knew I was going to have to do it, and you forgave me. Our last few moments together, I held you so close and cried and told you, "I love you, I'm sorry, I love you, it's all okay now, I love you, Parker". And you looked at me with the same love you always did. Until you couldn't see me anymore. I would have done anything, given anything, to make you better. For 12 years you were my only child. There is such a hole in me, such a great gaping hole. I wish I could see you one more time. I kept a small piece of the bedding from your doodle-house that smells like you, and will keep it in my truck with me. I am so proud of you, my little old man, my little buddy. You did so well - you tried so hard. You were the best dog. I miss you. I miss you and I can't stop crying. But I know that now you are healthy. Your smooth black coat feels like velveteen again. No more shots, no more medicine. Your heart is strong again. You're back with Sprout, and your brother Decker too. And my Mom. Wait for me at the Rainbow Bridge, Parker, because I will never forget you. Never. And someday I will come to get you. And we will be together always. I love you, Parker Anthony, little Applehead. I love you.