Ziggy was special from the very beginning. A flea infested, dirty and starving little kitten that someone tossed out of a car. He darted across the busy freeway and made it to the center. I and my daughter were a witness to this cruelty and we quickly stopped to help the poor little creature. He was screaming with fright but came running up to me confident that this human will not be so cruel. He jumped into my heart from that moment and stayed there for over 20 years. Yes, he was special. He and I had many interesting conversations together and he loved to jump into my arms. The day came, of course, that he wasn't able to jump into my arms but he made up for it in many other ways. |
Many mornings I was awakened by a soft lick on the nose and then a sharp nip to be sure he did his job of awakening me. He was there for me in so many ways it's impossible to name them all but most importantly we had a special bond. I miss him dearly....more than words can describe. I did my best to be a good kitty mom to him but when that terrible day came I also knew what I had to do and the pain I still feel by having to make that decision is heartbreaking.
Ziggy, I love you so much and I always will so be a good boy and try not to get into too much trouble. I'll be joining you someday so be a patient boy.
If It Should Be
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
07/06/2011 ~ Hay Mr. Zigster. It's your kitty mom who still misses you so badly and cries for you daily. I just wanted to let you know that little Bella is doing fine and taking up where you left me. She's a little pistol. She bounces off the walls every morning just like you did as a kit. After living here about a month, she's finally figured out how the kitty door works so she's in and out just like you use to do. She gives me my 'sandpaper kisses' each morning after she see's that I'm awake. You always couldn't wait for me to wake so you'd just do the job yourself. I loved you so much for that. Remember the time my alarm didn't go off and you just kept trying to wake me? I was almost late for work that day and would have been had it not been for you. What a kitty! Anyway, I hope you are doing great and making a lot of new friends where you are. I hear it's a beautiful place to be and I know that with your being there, you've made it all the more beautiful. Well, try to keep an eye out for Bella Mia and help her to stay out of trouble. I feel you here with me every day. I love you forever, MOM
07/07/2011 ~ Hello Zigman. I put some fresh flowers by your marker today. I hope you like them. I cried for you last night...again. I miss you so much. Please leave me a sign that you are helping little Bella Mia along. She wants to play each night when it's bedtime. Tell her it's time to go to beddy by and show her your favorite spot to lay on mommies bed, okay? SuzieQ misses you very much. Instead of her being your little shadow, she now has Bella for a little shadow so you see, the tables are turned for her. <Smiles> Rudy is constantly on guard for Bella. The little scamp gets a kick out of chasing him at every turn. Poor Rudy. Be sweet, my little special angle. Mommy loves you always. I see the sign you just sent me as little Bella just jumped up on my desk to tell me you are okay. Thank you, Ziggy!
07/11/2011 ~ Hello Mr. Mister. I was about to go get the mail and of course, thought of you. You use to love to go out with mom to get the mail and of course, smell all the flowers and roll on the sidewalk. All the neighbors knew you would accompany me to the mailbox. You are missed by many more than you knew. SusieQ still misses you dearly but her new little friend, Bella is here now and she loves to cuddle with Suzie...something you never liked to do but SuzieQ insisted she cuddle with you any way. I hope you are happy and still giving little Bella lessons in loving. You are doing a great job, dearest Ziggy. Loving you forever, MOM
07/16/2011 ~ Dearest Ziggy, Today I placed some fresh flowers and a new toy for you along with a new picture of you at your new home. I know how you loved to play in the water so I placed a water bowl there for you too. I hope you like them and approve of the picture. You always did love having your picture taken. You'd pose for me so beautifully. I still haven't had the courage to watch the DVD I made of you that day. It makes me cry just to think of it and the fun time we had making that movie of you. One day, I promiss I'll watch it and smile and yes, cry. I miss you so bad. Just to let you know, Bella was a naughty little 'Tigger' girl this morning. She was doing her 'Tigger' thing...bouncing off the walls and ripping and running. She jumped up on the garden window in the bathroom and knocked off a potted plant into the tub. The little stinker gave me a look like...'I have no idea how that happened'. I just laughed so hard. I have too many plants in the house anyway. She's like you were when you were a youngster in so many ways. Sometimes I call her 'Little Ziggy'. She's now sleeping here on my computer desk just like you use to do. I know she'll never be you but she's a special little thing in her own right and I do love her. I'm so glad I found her and I know it was you that led me to her. Well, I hope you are meeting a lot of new friends and playing as you did when you were a youngster. You are always on my mind and in my heart, dearest one. I love you so much, MOM
07/28/2011 ~ Hello my sweet Ziggy, I miss you so much. I hope you are doing well. If only I could get a nice warm 'kitty hug' from my special boy again. It's really been hot down here and I know how you use to love to lay on the swing out on the patio in the heat of the day, but I'd make you come inside because I thought it was just too hot. I meant well and I hope you understand. I'm missing you really bad for some reason today. Tears are flowing freely and I can't help it. I just wanted to let you know and any sign from you would be more than welcome. Take care, my dearest one. I love you, MOM
08/03/2011 ~ My dearest sweet Ziggy, I hope you are keeping a close watch out for your mom. I sure miss you, hon. Some days are worse than others and the tears are flowing freely because I miss you so very much. I think you left me a sign the other night. Little Bella jumped off my bed as I was watching TV and she made the same little sound you use to make when you landed. I use to love hearing that sound and when Bella made it, it took me by surprise because she had never made it before or since. I think it was you, my sweet angel. I had a crying fit after that but it's only because I miss you so badly. SuzieQ misses you too. I can tell. She doesn't hunt like she use to and doesn't get into trouble nearly as often. Bella is making up for that. Bella is so full of energy it's hard to keep up with her. I wish you were here to see all the trouble she gets into. You'd smile, I know. Well, you keep an eye out for us all down here. We all miss you so much. I love you always and forever, MOM
08/20/2011 ~ Hello sweet Ziggy, Sweet, sweet boy...love of my life. I miss you dearly. I recieved this today and it struck my heart. The heart that still has the huge hole you left behind. These words are as if written by you. They go like this...
If you pay attention and learn well, when the journey is done, you will not be just a better person, but the person your pet always knew you to be -- the one they were proud to call beloved friend.
Yes, you were borrowed from God and now you are gone. You left me sad and broken but the wonderful times we had will never be forgotten. I love you, my sweet sweet boy, and always will.
09/17/2011 ~ Hello my sweet angel, Ziggy. I know it's been a while since I wrote but know I always have you on my mind and in my heart. The place you left in my heart is still and forever will be raw and hard to take. The moments of sadness creep up on me ever still. I miss you as much as ever and always will. Memories of that terrible day sneak up on me ever yet. I hope you understand my sadness for I will never be complete without you by my side. I love you so much, Ziggy. MOM
10/03/2011 ~ How has my little angle been doing? I know I haven't written in a while and I'm not being a very good kitty mom to you have I? I'm so sorry, dear, but you know how much I love and miss you. I can feel your presence with me all the time and you are always on my mind. The pain of your absence is still very hard. I still haven't had the courage to view the wonderful video of you that we made that time. I still need a lot of healing in order to view your beautiful face and hear your sweet meow talking to me as you always did. I sure do miss that, sweet boy. I miss your little kitty hugs and your climbing on my lap every evening when we all settled in to relax and enjoy some TV time. I'll be there to join your some day so just be patient. I love you, dear Ziggy. MOM
12/12/2011 ~ Hello, my sweet boy. I haven't forgotten about you and I never will. The tears are still flowing freely at the mention of your name and the hole in my heart is still raw and painful. I've been watching for any kind of sign you may bring me to let me know your spirit is with me but maybe I'm asking for a lot. SuzieQ still misses you so much. I can feel it when she is sad for you because I feel that pain so much too. I hope you are okay. I worry about that a lot. Did you know, we have another baby here. Jana brought her from a far away place because she was alone and did not have a home. Her name is Rosa Rita and she is so pretty. She is having a real hard time adjusting to her new home. She and SuzieQ no longer hiss at each other but Bella is making her life miserable. Not at much as she did at first but as long as Rita will run, Bella will chase her. I sure wish they could become friends. Please whisper words of kitty sweetness in Bella's ear so she will be nice to Rita. Rita needed a home so badly. Well, you stay patient. We'll be together again some day. Giving you a big warm kitty hug now. MOM
01/8/2012 ~ Hello, sweetheart. I'm just wanting to let you know that I miss you so very much. Christmas wasn't the same without your sweet face looking into mine. Nothing in my life will ever be the same without your here with me. Have you been able to find little Alphi and Kayla yet? I'll bet they would be very happy to see you again. Please give me a sign once in a while to let me know you are okay. I love you so much. MOM
03/22/2012 ~ Hi, my dearest love. I hope you are doing good. Momma still and always will be so lonely without you here. You are always on my mind and in my heart. Always, always. My heart still achs for missing you. All I can do is pray you are okay and will wait for me when it comes my turn to leave this earthly plane. Be sweet and know you are always, as always, loved. MOM
05/02/2012 ~ Hello Angel. This coming Sunday will mark the first year since you went home to the Rainbow Bridge. The pain of your leaving is as if it were just yesterday. I miss you so much, my sweet sweet boy. You've been coming to me in my dreams very often lately and I'm glad for that. The fact that I can at least have you in my dreams is a blessing to me. I will always remember..........
05/06/2012 ~ My dearest sweet boy. It's been one year yet it seems like yesterday that you left me. It is a quite overcast day. This morning I went out and planted a flower for you in the front flower bed where you use to go to sniff all the plants there and sometimes go under the bush and lay. I miss you so much. If only I could hold you once again in my arms. If only I could hear your sweet kitty talk again. If only................
06/22/2012 ~ Hello sweet Ziggy. It is now summertime down here and I know how much you and SuzieQ loved to lay outside on the swing and toast in the heat of the day. I never could understand why but as soon as I made you come inside to be cool, you'd be right back out there enjoying the torrid heat. It's a cat thing, I know but I'd give anything to be able to look out there and see you and Suz all snuggled on that swing. I miss you so much, sweetheart. I still imagine seeing you out of the corner of my eye. You still come to me in my dreams and I am greatful for that much. I love you so much............
09/15/2012 ~ Hello sweet boy. I guess God decided to give you another friend to play with. Her name is Bella Marie. You will recognize her easily as she looks almost exactly like you. She got very sick after a rabies shot and nothing on this earth could be done to save her so my only explination is that God wanted a sweet playmate for you up there. My heart is broken into a million pieces yet again but to know she is up there with you to look after her is comforting.
12/14/2012 ~ Hello dearest angle. Mommy is still missing you so much and she thinks of you every day. Did little Bella find you there over the bridge? I pray she did. She was so young and she needs a big brother to show her around up there. I miss her dearly too. She was so much like you and was such a sweet girl. Mommie's heart is beyond broken now but she's managing to continue on until it's her time to be with the two of you. That will be a wonderful time, won't it? I'm so ready to be with you both again. Please be patient until that time comes. I love the both of you so much and will never forget our time here together. Be sweet and watch over little Bella Marie. Love, MOM
4/18/2013 ~ How is my sweet Ziggy doing? Did you think I'd forgotten about you? Never would that ever happen. Momma has been really busy and taking care of new babies. There are two new kitties who have found a place in your home now. TinkerBelle, who came after Bella left and now, Brody who found a place that you left. I have my hands full now because they are both really young and are finding their special nitch in your house. Please help me to watch over them and teach them manners. Brody is so fiesty and wants to play constantly, as a kitten his age should but sometimes he gets so out of controll but I love him no matter. He reminds me of you when you were a baby. Tell little Bella Marie that I do miss her so very much too and some day we will all be together again. Momma loves you both.....
6/3/2013 ~ Hello my dearest angels. Has Rudy found you yet? Almost a week ago, he too crossed over the Rainbow Bridge. He was unable to relieve himself as he use to so he would just go where he was lying. Not a good situation for a kitty. He was 22 years old and it was his time. He had a very long and fruitful life. Always the little scardy cat but he caught his share of rats and mice. How he loved to climb that huge tree in the back yard and play 'jungle cat' up there. How is my sweet little Bella Maria doing? I miss her so badly and always will. Give her a big kitty kiss to her for me, my dear Ziggy and she and you can show little Rudy around. Be sweet, my little darlings. I love you all so much. MOM
7/1/2013 ~ Hello my babies. Bella Marie, my tears are flowing freely still yet for you. I miss all my babies but it was way too soon for you to leave me. I know you had no choice and I still feel like had I not taken you for your rabies shot, you'd stll be here with me, running and playing as you so loved to do. Who would have dreamed this terrible thing would happen to you? Never, in a million years, would I have thought by trying to keep you healthy and happy, instead you are now gone from me. The pain is unbearable and the memories of those horrible days plague me as if it were yesterday. I miss you so much, my dear sweet baby. I can only pray that you are in a much better place, playing with Ziggy and Rudy. I hope Rudy is happy now. He was always such a little scardy cat. I miss his visites with me on the couch every afternoon. Be patient, my dear sweet babies. Momma will be with you again one day. I'm looking forward to our being together again. I love you all so much. MOM
11/13/2013 ~ How are my babies doing? My heart still cries for the both of you and I think about you both every day. I hope you are taking care of each other and watching over the mommy who loves you so much. I pray each night that you will come to me in my dreams. It is so sweet when you do but then another day comes and you are gone from me still. I love and miss you both more then ever. MOM
4/11/2014 ~ My darling Ziggy. A lot has been happening here with you kitty mom who loves you so much and misses you dearly. Please forgive me for not writing for so long but I know you understand and will be patient. I can't wait to join you again some day and all the earthly things are behind us. How is my little Bella Marie doing? I still cry for her every day. She was my little extension of you and filled my heart with such joy as you did. Tell her I love her still so much as I do you. The sadness if overwhelming so I must go now. Be sweet and know I love the both of you so very much! MOM
5/05/2014 ~ Hello sweet boy. Tomorrow marks the 3rd year since you went to cross the Rainbow Bridge. My tears are still falling and my heart is still broken to pieces. I just wanted to tell you once again how much I miss you and Bella Marie. I do hope you have found her and she loves you as much as I do. If I could only see the both of you once again and have you nestled on my lap with your little chin resting on my knee. Some day I pray we'll be together again. You were the love of my life and I never felt so complete but now I feel empty though I have my Rosia Marie, Brody, Tinkerbell and of course, your SuzieQ. I know she misses you still. She's never been the same since you left us. I know how she feels. Anyway, sweet baby, momma still loves and misses you dearly. Please come to visit me in my dreams. I'd love that. MOM
11/04/2014 ~ It's Fall now and the leaves are beginning to turn color from green to bright orange and you know what a special color that is to me. Your soft sweet orange coat is forever in my heart. Same for little Bella Marie. She was the perfect one to try to fill the empty hole in my heart. Now, the both of you are forever gone from me but you and she are very much still alive in my mind's eye. It's raining today and my tears are still flowing. Oh, Ziggy, I miss you so very much and always will. I hope you and Bella Marie will wait until we can be together again. Sweet kisses and hugs for both of you. MOM
5/05/2015 ~ My darling Ziggy. Yet another year has passed without you and it seems only yesterday that you were going out with me to get the mail and you, rolling on the sidewalk and talking your kitty talk to me so sweetly. How I miss you still yet and more and more. How is my sweet little Bella Marie? I think of her constantly as well. Tears flow freely at just the thought of you and her leaving me forever but I pray we will be reunited when it's my time to leave this life. For now, know you and Bella are in my heart forever. Blowing kisses and hugs to both of you and please send me a sign that you are both looking after me. I do feel your presence often. Be sweet, my love. MOM
1/9/2016 ~ Hello sweet boy. No, I haven't forgotten you and never ever will. How are you doing and have you found little Bella Marie? I sure miss the both of you. Rudy is up there with you too as well as little Alphi. Are you happy? Are you finding butterflies to chase? I love you so much. You were my very special boy for so long. Would you please visit me in my dreams? I would love to hold you just once more but you know that would never be enough. Sometimes I think I see you out of the corner of my eye. I hope it's you, sweet baby. Love you forever and ever.......MOM
9/17/2016 ~ This is for my beloved Bella Marie. Hello sweetheart. This morning I had an uncontrollable crying jag and then I realized it had been 4 years and 2 days since that horrible day that you left me. I still think about you every day which makes me so sad when I remember all of the wonderful times we had although and it was not nearly long enough. I smile at the funny little antics you did and when you liked to snuggle up to me but then those terrible thoughts come crowding out those happy thoughts and I cry and cry...... I ask God why you had to be taken away from me so soon but I'll never get my answer. Maybe when I come to join you I'll get the answer I so dearly want to hear. It still won't make sense to me. Is Ziggy there with you? I hope so. I do miss him so much too. The fact that you could have been his twin made me so happy to have found you and I only wanted the very best life could offer for you. It was the happiest time of my life when I had you to not only reminded me of Ziggy but for having you in my life to continue and help heal the emptiness in my heart that Ziggy left there. You fulfilled that emptiness perfectly and I'll always love you and keep you in my heart forever and ever........MOM
5/6/2016 ~ My dearest sweet boy. How long has it been since you left me? It seems only yesterday yet it's been 6 years and I still cry for you and think of you every day. If I live to be 100, you will always be in my heart. Forever and ever and ever and ever.........MOM