Welcome to zackary's Rainbow Bridge Memorial Residency
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Memories of zackary
THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU...YOU PICKED ME..AND YOU'VE HAD MY HEART EVER SINCE...YOU NEVER LET ME OUT OF YOU'RE SIGHT..AND I'M SO AFRAID YOU ARE ALONE..I SMILE WHEN I REMEMBER HOW YOU WOULD RUN AFTER THE BALL..ALWAYS MAKING SURE I WAS WATCHING YOU..OR HOW YOU WOULD SIT UNDER THE XMAS TREE..LOOKING FOR YOURE GIFTS....I MISS YOU IN THE CAR WITH ME...DID I EVER GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT YOU?...I'M SO ALONE IT KILLS ME SO MUCH. I TAKE TYLER NOW BUT ITS NOT THE SAME...IT'S NOT YOU...NO ONE WILL EVER BE YOU...YOU WERE SO SPECIAL....I HAVE YOU'RE ASHES NEXT TO MY BED...AND YOU'LL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART....YOU STOLED MY HEART THE FIRST TIME I LAID EYES ON YOU....YOU AND THAT FUNNY LITTLE PATCH OF HAIR ON TOP OF YOU'RE HEAD...AND THAT HUGH BLACK NOSE...OH YEAH...AND THOSE BEATUIFUL EYELASHES....AND YOU'RE TOUNGE......I THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME..PLEASE KNOW THAT I MISS YOU SO MUCH AND THAT I'M SO ANGRY THAT YOU HAD TO GO....IT WAS SO QUICKLY THAT I LOOK BACK ON IT AND IT SEEMS LIKE A DREAM...MORE A NIGHTMARE.......I KEEP HOPING THAT I DID EVERYTHING THAT I COULD FOR YOU AND THAT YOU KNOW JUST HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU........

.HEY...IT'S 03/08/06..IT'S A LITLE OVER TWO MONTHS..AND I MISS YOU SO....IT FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY...I'M SURE BY NOW...YOU'VE MADE FRIENDS..AND CAN RUN AGAIN..AND NOT FEEL SO BAD...FOR THAT I AM EVER SO HAPPY..BECAUSE IT HURT ME SO TO SEE YOU IN PAIN...AND NO MORE SEISURES BABY...AIREN'T YOU GLAD...ALL MY LOVE MY BABY...I MISS YOU SO...
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3/25/06...I DID MEDITATION YESTERDAY IN YOGA.. I SAW YOU AT THE RAINBOW BRIDGE..I WAS THEIR WITH YOU..AND I SAW YOU RUNNING AND YOU WERE SO HAPPY..IT MADE MY HEART FEEL SO GOOD..I KNOW YOU ARE HOLE AGAIN...AND YOU SAW ME AND YOU RAN TOWARDS ME..BUT I OPENED MY EYES..AND I HAD A SMILE ON MY FACE...BECAUSE I KNOW YOU ARE OK AGAIN....I STILL CRY EVERYDAY..I MISS YOU SO..HAVE I THANKED YOU FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL TIMES WE SHARED...AND THE AMAZING MEMORIES I HAVE...I LOVE YOU.

SO TODAY IS APRIL 3RD...THREE MONTHS SINCE I HAD TO SAY GOODBY TO YOU...I STILL CRY, AS I CRY NOW, BUT I NOW KNOW THAT YOU ARE WHOLE AGAIN..I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY...AS YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A NEW PUPPY..AND I FOUND ONE.HE'S DK RED, AND VERY CUTE...BUT HE'S NOT YOU...CAN'T I MAKE YOU COME BACK TO ME?MY HEART HURTS ZACKY....I MISS YOU SO MUCH..BE GOOD I LOVE YOU DEEPLY..MOM

4-9-06 I GOT THE PUPPY TODAY....HE'S ADORABLE...YOU'D LOVE HIM....TYLER IS NOT BEING AS WONDERFUL TO HIM AS YOU WERE WHEN I BROUGHT HIM HOME TO YOU...WHICH REMINDS ME AGAIN JUST HOW AMAZING YOU ARE....I MISS YOU SO MUCH....LOVING YOU..YOU'RE ALWAYS IN MY HEART....MOMMY

IT'S 5-1-06..AND I'VE HAD THE PUPPY 3 WEEKS..AND WHAT A HANDFUL..AGAIN NOTHING LIKE YOU..BUT I THINK YOU WOULD LOVE HIM. I BELIEVE YOU SENT HIM TO ME..IN ALOT OF WAYS HE REMINDS ME OF YOU..BUT YOU WERE SO MUCH CALMER..THEN THAT WAS YOU..BUT HE'S PRETTY AMAZING..I THINK YOU WOULD APROVE..HE KEEPS ME ON MY TOES..AND HE PUTS A SMILE ON MY FACE..I JUST NEEDED TO COME AND SAY HELLO TO YOU AND LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAVE NOT BEEN REPLACED AT ALL...NOTHING COULD REPLACE YOU, AND I SPEAK OF YOU EVERYDAY..HE HAS JUST SOFTENED MY TEARS...I LOVE YOU SO MY BABY...BE GOOD AND ALWAYS KNOW YOU ARE IN MY HEART....MOM

HEY BABY IT'S MAY 18 AND I JUST CAME BY TO SAY HELLO TO YOU AND TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU AND HOW MUCH I MISS YOU SO....I CRY EVERYDAY AND MY HEART IS STILL BROKEN..I WISH I COULD JUST HOLD YOU ONE MORE TIME....HEY..I FOUND MY STOLEN JEWELRY..AND I KNOW YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT..YOU'RE MY GUARDIAN ANGEL..YOU ARE SO IN MY HEART LITTLE ONE...AND I KNOW YOU ALWAYS WILL BE...I LOVE YOU..MOMMY...KISSES.WELL

6-21-06 IT'S ALMOST YOU'RE BIRTHDAY...AND I CAN'T BEAR...I'M CRYING...I MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH....I'M GOING TO CELEBRATE YOU'RE BIRTHDAY...BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW WITHOUT YOU.I'M CRYING SO MUCH..DO YOU KNOW HOW I MISS YOU SO....LOVE TO YOU ALWAYS...MOMMY...KISSES.

6-26-06..ALMOST YOU'RE BIRTHDAY...I'M CRYING SO..I JUST WANT TO HOLD YOU..I LOVE YOU MY LITTLE MAN...

7-1-06..HAPPY BIRTHDAY...I HAVE YOU'RE LITTLE BIRTHDAY HAT ON YOU'RE LAST BIRHTDAY PICTURE..AND TWO LITTLE MUFFINS FOR YOU...AND I'M CRYING SO...I CAN'T STOP MISSING YOU....EVERYDAY I MISS YOU...I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S BEEN 6 MONTHS...ALMOST TO THE DAY...MY HEART IS BROKEN....YOU WERE THE MOST AMAZING ANIMAL IN THE WORLD..AND YOU LOVED ME SO...EVEN FROM THE BEGINING...AND I WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU ...I'M SO SAD TODAY..I HOPE YOU'RE CELERBATING YOU'RE SPECIAL DAY..DO YOU MISS ME THE WAY I MISS YOU...MY HEART ACHES...LOVE TO YOU MY LITTLE DARLING...MOMMY..IT'S SO HARD FOR ME TO SAY GOODBYE..I'VE HAD THIS SITE UP ALL DAY..I AT LEAST FELT CONNECTED TO YOU..BUT I MUST NOW GO..SWEET DREAMS MY LOVE.

7-23-06..HEY.HOW ARE YOU..I'M SITTING HERE..STILL CRYING MY EYES OUT..I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE GONE..THIS HAS BEEN SO HARD FOR ME BABY...MY LIFE SEEMS EMPTY WITHOUT YOU..PLEASE COME TO ME IN MY DREAMS FOR I CAN HOLD YOU..YOU ARE ONCE IN A LIFE TIME...AND I'M GLAD YOU WERE IN MINE..KISSES TO YOU..I DO MISS YOU'RE KISSES SO MUCH....MOMMY

8-13-06...IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY...AND I REALLY DO MISS YOU..I HAD A FUN DAY TODAY WITH A FRIEND...AND WHEN I GOT HOME..I WANTED TO VISIT YOU..AND I FOUND A BEAUTIFUL LETTER FROM SOMEONE ON THIS AMAZING SITE TELLING ME IT WAS OK TO LET GO...TALK ABOUT TIMING...I HOPE YOU ARE WELL...A DAY DOES NOT GO BY THAT I DON'T THINK OF YOU...IT'S TIME FOR ME TO START LOOKING FOR A HOUSE TO BUY..AND I HOPE YOU'LL BE ABLE TO FIND US WHEN WE MOVE...YOU'RE ALWAYS IN MY HEART...ONE HUGH KISS TO YOU...MOMMY...HEY

IT'S 9-5-06...AND GOD DO I EVER MISS YOU..I'M NOT DOING SO HOT...BEEN HAVING ANXIETY ATTACKS...WHEN YOU LEFT..IT WAS JUST TO MUCH FOR ME...I WAS OK..AND THEN I GOT LUCAS...HES ADORABLE..BUT HE HAD SURGERY 2 WEEKS AGO..BAD HIPS...AND I JUST FEEL OVERWELLMED..I HAVE ALOT OF WORK TO DO ON MYSELF..PLEASE WATCH OVER ME...I LOVE YOU SO...HUGS AND KISSES....MOMMY

HEY.IT'S 11-5-06..I'VE STAYED AWAY TO LONG...I'M SO SORRY.I MISS YOU SO...I SAW YOU AGAIN IN MY MEDITATION..AND THIS TIME WHEN YOU RAN TO ME..I CAUGHT YOU...AND I HELD YOU SO TIGHT.AND THEN WE WERE AT THE VETS...AND I WAS SAYING GOODBY.....AND I THINK I CAN FINALLY LET YOU GO..I KNOW YOU SENT LUCAS TO ME....HE'S LIKE A BROKEN BIRD..HES GOT HIP PROBLEMS..BUT I THINK YOU SENT HIM TO ME FOR I COULD HAVE SOMETHING TO HOLD AND LOVE AND HELP...HE NEEDS HELP...BUT HES A WONDERFUL PUPPY..AND HE TALKS TO ME..JUST LIKE YOU USED TO DO..THER ARE TIMES WHEN I LOOK AT HIM AND I SEE YOU..AND I SMILE SO....I MISS YOU MY LITTLE DARLING.I PRAY YOU ARE AT PEACE...AND HAPPY....XOXOXOXOXOX MOMMY..

ITS 1-3-07..1 YEAR AGO TODAY I HAD TO LET YOU GO...IT SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY..AND I'M STILL CRYING...TODAY WAS A VERY HARD DAY FOR ME.....I MISS YOU SO MY LITTLE MAN..MY TEARS FEEL FRESH AS THEY FALL ON MY FACE, MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU HAS BEEN LONELY AND SAD...BUBBIE IS NOT DOING WELL..SHE'S GOT DEMENTIA..AND IS NOT AWARE OF IT..SO SHE FIGHTS WITH ME ALL THE TIME..IT'S VERY SAD HOW LIFE CHANGES AND GETS SO SCREWED UP...AND IT WINDS UP BEING NOTHING LIKE YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.I'M SO ALONE ..IT'S BEEN REALLY HARD ON ME LIVING HERE WITH HER..I HAVE TO FIND A HOUSE TO BUY, AND MOVE..AND THAT SCARES ME BECAUSE MOM REALLY CAN'T LIVE ALONE..BUT SHE THINKS THAT SHE CAN...ZACKAY..HELP ME AS YOU ALWAYS DID..I REALLY NEED TO FEEL YOU RIGHT NOW...IT'S SO HARD FOR ME TO LEAVE YOU..HERE I FEEL AS IF WE WERE TOGETHER..IT WAS AS HARD FOR ME TO COME TO SEE YOU TODAY..I'M NOT SURE WHY..BUT I HAVE NOT STOPPED CRYING SINCE I CAME HERE...I GUESS I NEEDED TO CRY TODAY..FOR YOU AND FOR BUBBIE..I LOVE YOU SO VERY DEEPLY MY LITTLE MAN..YOU'LL STAY IN MY DREAMS FOREVER AND IN MY HEART..AS I KNOW I AM IN YOU'RS...ALL MY LOVE AND HUGS TO YOU TODAY, DO YOU KNOW TODAY IS THE ANNIVERSITY OF YOU'RE DEPARTURE...I LOVE YOU ALWAYS XOXOXOXOXO MOMMY

HEY.IT'S 1-21-07.JUST CAME BY TO SEE YOU AND SEND MY LOVE.AND HERE I AM.CRYING AGAIN.I WONDER IF I'LL EVER STOP CRYING OVER YOU.I DON'T THNIK SO.GOD HOW I MISS YOU ...I'M DOING WELL.I NEED TO START LOOKING FOR A HOUSE.AND I DECEIDED THAT I NEED TO START DATIMG......I'M SO ALONE.THE HOLE IN MY HEART WITHOUT YOU IS TOO BIG...OH ZACKARY.I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH...PLEASE BE GOOD.I'LL BE BACK SOON.I PROMISE...XOXOXOXOXOX

.5-12-07.I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT YOU SO MUCH LATELY....I CAME BY A FEW TIMES...AND WROTE...BUT I MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN TO APPLY CHANGES.BECAUSE MY LETTERS TO YOU ARE NOT HERE..AND I FEEL SO BAD..I DONT WANT YOU TO THINK I FORGOT ABOUT YOU.I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU...AND HERE I AM..CRYING AGAIN...I HOPE HONEY HAS FOUND YOU...AND TASHA..THERE HAS BEEN ALOT OF LOSSES THIS YEAR...AND I STILL CRY FOR YOU MY DARLING...YOU ARE SO LOVED AND SO VERY MISSED...THANK GOD I HAVE THIS PLACE TO COME TO...IT MAKES ME FELL CLOSE TO YOU..IN SOME WEIRD WAY...TYLER SENDS HIS LOVES..AND LUCAS...WELL HES SOMETHING ELSE...AND I THINK YOU WOULD LOVE HIM...HE IS NOTHING LIKE YOU...BUT HE REMINDS ME OF YOU IN SO MANY WAYS....BUT I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT....BECAUSE I BELIEVE THAT YOU SENT HIM TO ME...AND I THANK YOU FOR THAT...I LOVE YOU MY BABY...XOXOXOXO...MOMMY

7-1-07...HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU MY VERY SPECIAL BOY.......I MISS YOU SO .I'VE CRIED FOR TWO DAYS...I WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.....I PUT YOU'E ASHES ON MY PILLOW LAST NITE..AND I SLEPT LIKE A BABY...I PICKED UP SOME PICTURES YESTERDAY AND THE FIRST TWO PICTURE WERE OF YOU...YOU'RE LAST BIRTHDAY
TWO YEARS AGO...WHAT A WONDERFUL SURPRISE THAT WAS FOR ME.....

7-31-07..HEY..UNCLE MIKE GOT KILLED IN A MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT TODAY...IM SURE YOU HAVE FOUND HIM BY NOW..ITS NOT BEEN SUCH A GREAT SUMMER........BARBARA AND THE KIDS ARE NOT DOING GREAT.AND IT JUST SO SAD,,,,,NONE OF US ARE DOING WELL

MOMS BIRTHDAY IS SUNDAY....90 YRS OLD...BLOWS ME AWAY...WISH YOU WERE HER FOR ALL OF THIS...I MISS YOU SO....LUCAS REMINDS ME OF YOU MORE AND MORE..THE OLDER HE GETS...TYLER IS GETTING A LITTLE WHITE AROUND HIS EYES...HE IS SUCH A SWEET BOY...I KISS YOU GOOD NITE AS I GO TO SLEEP EVERYNITE...AND I HOPE YOU'RE CATCHING THEM....ARE YOU HAVING A GREAT LIFE NOW ZACKARY?..THE ONLY PART ABOUT YOU NOT BEING HERE ANYMORE IS THAT I KNOW YOU ARE NOT IN PAIN...AND THAT MAKES MY HEART HAPPY..OTHER THAN THAT ...I STILL MISS YOU SO......I WONDER IF I WILL EVER GET OVER LOSING YOU...I DONT THINK SO.....YOU ARE MY MAN...I LOVE YOU SO.MOMMY..XOXOXOXOXOX.

10-7-07-I NEEDED TO COME AND SAY HELLO TO YOU TODAY.I MISS YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.ITS REALLY HIT ME ABOUT UNCLE MIKE.AND IM REALLY UPSET SO I NEEDED TO COME AND SAY HELLO TO YOU...LUCAS JUST CAME TO SAY HELLO.........HOW ARE YOU DOING?..I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MY LITTLE MAN....PLEASE COME WHEN YOU CAN AND JUST GIVE ME A WHISPER OF A LICK ON MY FACE...ITS REALLY NEEDED NOW.I LOVE YOU MY ANGEL.PLEASE TAKE CARE OF EVERYONE ELSE THATS WITH YOU NOW....XOXOXOXOXO.MOMMY..

11-18-07 WELL GOOD MORNING MY LITTLE ANGEL...JUST SITTING HERE AND I HAD TO COME AND SAY HELLO AND GIVE KISSES..I STILL CRY WHEN I COME HERE BUT I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT YOU ARE GOOD NOW...BUBBIE IS GETTING A LITTLE WORSE...AND FIGHTING WITH ME ALOT..SO I HAVE TO TURN A DEAF EAR..SHE CANT HELP IT..SHES NOT HERSELF...AND JESSICA DUMPED ON ME AGAIN...SO I HAVE DECEIDED TO BURY BOTH BARBARA AND JESSICA...TO ME THEY ARE BOTH DEAD NOW...AND THAT IS HOW I HAVE TO LOOK AT THIS...AND I WILL BE OK ...GOD PUT ME HERE FOR A REASON...AND ILL DO WHAT I WAS SENT HERE TO DO...TAKE CARE OF MOM...I LOVE HER SO...I'LL COME TO VISIT AGAIN REALLY SOON...ALL OF MY LOVE LITTLE ONE, I DO MISS YOU SO..MOMMYXOXOX

11-27-07 GOOD MORNING MY BABY....I NEEDED TO CRY SO I CAME FORA VISIT...IT SEEMS LIKE I CAN NEVER JUST COME AND SAY HELLO WITHOUT CRYING....I MISS YOU SO ..EVEN AFTER THIS LONG..MY HEART STILL ACHES...AND THERE HAS BEEN SO MANY LOSSES THIS YEAR I THINK ITS JUST CAUGHT UP WITH ME..I DO LOVE YOU SO...KISSES AND HUGGS.MOM

12-5-07..GOOD MORNING MY BABY..JUST HAD TO COME AND SAY HELLO AND LET YOU KNOW THAT I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH...I FEEL SO GOOD AFTER IVE COME TO SEE YOU..I CRY AND I ALWAYS FELL BETTER...I LOVE YOU SO..AND TALK OF YOU OFTEN...MOMMY XOXOX

1-3-08 WELL..FUNNY HOW TIME FLYS BY...ITS 2 YEARS TODAY THAT WE SAID GOODBY.....AND MY HEART STILL BREAKS IN HALF..I CANT COME HERE TO SAY HELLO WITHOUT CRYING MY EYES OUT....MOM IS NOT DOING WELL...AND I AM SO AFRAID OF BEING ALONE....IF YOU WERE STILL HERE IT WOULD SURLY HELP..BUT I KNOW I HAVE YOU AS MY ANGEL AND THE YOU WILL ALWAYS LOOK OVER ME..I LOVE YOU SO...MOMMY...LUCAS,TYLER AND SAMMY SEND THEIR LOVE

1-26-08..HEY HOW ARE YOU BABY..SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED..MOM HAS DONE SOMETHING SO WONDERFUL FOR ME...AND IT MAKES MY HEART FEEL SO GOOD...NOW I HAVE A SECURE FEELING IN MY HEART...I LOVE HER SO MUCH..IM WORRIED ABOUT LUCAS..HES SO SKINNY AND I HAVE HIM ON THIS STUFF THATS SUPPOSED TO MAKE HIS STOMACH DIGEST HIS FOOD..BUT TODAY I FEEL LIKE HES BEEN TRYING TO THROW UP...I CANT LOSE HIM ZACK..PLEASE WATCH OVER HIM...I WONT BE ABLE TO COPE IF I LOSE HIM...I REALLY LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH..IM PRAYING TONITE TO YOU AND TO GOD TO WATCH OVER MY BABY BOY..HE REALLY HAS TURNED OUT TO BE SO MUCH LIKE YOU..HE NEVER LETS ME OUT OF HIS SIGHT...AND HE FOLLOWS ME FROM ROOM TO ROOM...DOES THAT SOUND LIKE ANYONE WE KNOW...I NEED TO SLEEP NOW...I LOVE YOU AND THINK OF YOU EVERYDAY....XOXOX.MOMMY

2-11-08...WELL...LONG TIME...IT WAS TIME TO RENEW YOUR STAY HERE..AND I THOUGH I'D JUST COME AND SAY HELLO....I CANT EVER LET THIS GO...BECAUSE THEN I'LL HAVE TO REALLY LET YOU GO...AND I CAN NEVER DO THAT..I MISS YOU SO MUCH MY BABY...I STILL GET TEARS WHEN I COME TO VISIT YOU HERE...BUT YOU ARE DEEPLY ENBEDDED IN MY HEART ..FOREVER...KISSES AND HUGS.....MOMMY

5-20-08..HEY...THE TIME SEEMS TO GET LONGER BETWEEN MY VISITS TO SEE YOU..BUT ITS NOT BECAUSE I'VE STOPPED THINKING ABOUT YOU...I THINK OF YOU EVERYDAY.I STILL MISS YOU SO MUCH MY BABY..PLEASE COME TO ME IN MY DREAMS..I NEED TO FEEL YOU TONITE...IM SO TIRED OF BEING ALONE...I NEED TO HAVE SOMEONE IN MY LIFE...AND IM SO TIRED OF TRYING TO FIND THAT PERSON..NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I BEEN SO ALONE.ITS BREAKING MY HEART..KISSES TO YOU MY DARLIN...MOMMY

7-1-08..HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BAY BOY.......GOD DO I MISS YOU....I DON'T THINK THERE WILL EVER BE A DAY WHEN I DONT THINK OF YOU,,,,,,, LUCAS REMINDS ME MORE AND MORE OF YOU....YOU WOULD LOVE HIM...TYLER IS DOING GREAT....MOM IS NOT.....BUT I HAVE SOMEONE IN MY LIFE....AND HES REALLY AMAZING...AND I KNOW YOU WOULD APPROVE......THERE IS A POSSIBILITY THAT I MIGHT BE MOVING UP TO WASHINGTON...AND OF COURSE YOU'RE COMING WITH ME....I'M HAPPIER THAT I HAVE BEEN IN YEARS....SINCE WE MOVED IN HERE AND SINCE I LOST YOU....YOU ARE SUCH A PART OF MY HEART......SEND ME SOME LOVE MY BABY......I LOVE YOU...MOMMY

8-15-08..WELL I SUPPOSE YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT I HAD TO PUT TYLER DOWN TODAY...AND IM SURE HES FOUND HIS WAY TO YOU BY NOW.I HOPE YOU COMFORT HIM AND IM SURE THE TWO OF YOU HAVE ALOT TO CATCH UP ON..I CANT BELIEVE THAT HES GONE..IT WAS SO QUICK..I NEVER KNEW HE WAS SICK..HE HAD CANCER ALL OVER HIS INSIDES..I MISS HIM SO MUCH BABY...AND I STILL MISS YOU..I HAVE TO GO TO SLEEP...I HAVE SUCH A HEADACHE...I LOVE YOU BOTH....TAKE CARE OF HIM PLEASE...MOM

1-3-09..WELL....ITS THREE YEARS TODAY THAT YOU LEFT ME...AND ITS STILL HUTRS ME SO...ILL NEVER LOVE ANOTHER LIKE I LOVE YOU....IM SO SORRY THAT I HAVE NOT VISITED YOU LATELY...BUT I HAD MAJOR CONSTRUCTION DONE ON THE HOUSE....AND WELL...I JUST NOW AM STARING TO BE ABLE TO PUT THE HOUSE BACK...I WISH YOU COULD SEE IT...YOU WOULD LOVE IT....THE ONLY ONE I STILL HAVE IS SAMMY...SHE STILL LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE KITTEN.....LUCAS LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE YOU.....SOMETIMES I CALL HIM BY YOUR NAME....BUT HE JUST IS NOT YOU...I GOT ANOTHER PUPPY...MARLEY...WHAT A HANDFUL..HES A GOLDEN DOODLE...AND A REAL PEICE OF WORK...TOO MUCH ENERGY....I MISS YOU MY LITTLE MAN...PLEASE COME TO ME TONITE...I NEED YOUR LOVE...I PROMISE I WONT STAY AWAY SO LONG.....I LOVE YOU ...MOMMY

7-21-09....WELL....IM SORRY WILL NOT BEGIN TO EXPLAIN TO YOU WHY I HAVE NOT BEEN TO VISIT.........I GOT DIAGONISED WITH BREAST CANCER 4-10-09....AND MY LIFE HAS NOT BEEN THE SAME SINCE....IT WAS VERY SMALL...AND NO CHEMO...IM DOING RADIATION AND HERCEPTION..WHICH IS AN IV ...FOR 60 WEEKS.THEY SAY ILL BE FINE...AND I FELL THAT I WILL....ITS JUST VERY SCARRY...MOM IS SLOWLY LOSING HER MEMORY....WHICH MAKES ME SAD...AND MY BUSINESS SUCKS...SO THERE YOU HAVE IT MY BABY.....THESE ARE ALL THE REASONS THAT I HAVE NOT BEEN TO SEE YOU...I MISSED YOUR BIRTHDAY...AND AGAIN IM SO SORRY...I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I KNOW YOU KNOW THAT....IM GETTING A LITTLE SCARED ..THE ECONOMY IS REALLY BAD....I DONT KNOW WHAT IM GOING TO DO....IM LOOKING FOR A JOB...BUT THERE IS NOT MUCH OUT THERE.....I THINK OF YOU EVERYDAY...AND I KNOW YOU KNOW THAT......AND IM STILL ALONE...I CANT SEEM TO FIND ANYONE TO SHARE MY LIFE WITH.....I PROMISE ILL BE BACK REALLY SOON......REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU DEEPLY...........MOM

1-3-10....WELL..I CANT BELIEVE ITS BEEN 4 YEARS ALREADY..I MISS YOU SO..PLEASE DONT THINK THAT BECAUSE I HAVE NOT BEEN TO SEE YOU THAT I STOPPED LOVING YOU...MOM GOT REALLY SICK..SHES OK NOW..BUT SHE 92.SO ..WELLI STILL CRY WHEN I COME HERE.

9-28-10...WELL IM BACK....IVE BEEN SO STRESSED THAT I JUST COULD NOT FIND MY WAY HERE........BUT I NEEDED TO TALK TO YOU......I HAVE TO GO TO THE BLADDER DR...I STARTED BLEEDING....AND IM SCARED...SO OF COURSE I THOUGHT OF YOU....PLEASE WATCH OVER ME............A DAY DOES NOT GO BY WHERE IM NOT PULLING OUT A PICTURE OF YOU....AND BY THE WAY......YOUR ALL OVER THE HOUSE....SAY HELLO TO TYLER FOR ME..........AND PLAY HARD TODAY..............ILL KEEP YOU POSTED........I PROMISE..I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT.MOMMY

11-5-10... WELL...AS OF MONDAY...IM BLADDER CANCER FREE.....THE DR SAYS I HAVE ANGELS WATCHING OVER ME...HE SURLEY MUST MEAN YOU AND TYLER,,,,AND OF COURSE MY DAD....BECAUSE THE TUMOR WAS TINY TINY....AND ITS GONE...OVER AND DONE WITH.....THANK GOD....YOU MUST KNOW I KISS YOU GOODNITE EVERYNITE....AND TYLER.....HOPE THE TWO OF YOU ARE PLAYING AND MISSING ME....AS I MISS YOU....LUCAS SAYS TO SAY HELLO TO TYLER....YOU NEVER MET HIM....HE CAME AFTER YOU......I LOVE YOU MY LITTLE MAN....YOURE ALWAYS IN MY HEART.XOXOX

12-26-11...WELL IM ASHAMED OF MYSELF....ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE BEEN HERE MOM GOT REALLY SICK IN MARCH..LUNG CANCER AND EMPHSHYA..I HAVE BEEN TAKING CARE OF HER....BUT SHE PASSED ON OCT 5TH..ITS BEEN REALLY HARD FOR ME TO PUT THAT IN WORDS, BUT I FELT IT WAS TIME..PLEASE WATCH OVER HER.YOURE ALL THERE NOW..DAD,MOM,YOU TYLER,HONEY..AND I MISS ALL OF YOU SO.I HAVE MY MAMMOGRAM AT THE END OF JAN...ILL KEEP YOU POSTED...I LOVE YOU MY LITTLE ONE..SOMETHING ELSE I DIDNT TELL YOU..I GOT A GOLDEN DOODLE..MARLEY..HES ALMOST YOU..HES ALMOST 4 NOW,HE HAS SEISURES, AND I WORRY ABOUT HIM..BUT HE LOVES TO LOVE .YOU WOULD ADORE HIM, AND APPROVE.HUGS AND KISSES ...MY LITTLE ANGEL.

1-3-12...WELL..SIX YEARS AGO TODAY WE SAID GOODBY.....TIMES FLIES...BY NOW MOM IS PROBABLY WITH YOU...PLEASE WATCH OVER HER...YOU ARE BOTH SO MISSED.I'M HAVING A HARD TIME WITH HER BEING GONE..AND ITS BRINGING UP LOSING YOU AS WELL.LOVE HER UP FOR ME.....PLEASE...XOXO KISSES TO BOTH OF YOU....


1-3-13...WELL, HERE IT IS 7 YEARS LATER...AND I STILL CRY WHEN I COME HERE...ITS BEEN A CRAZY YEAR..AND IM SORRY I HAVE NOT WRITTEN,,BUT I DO COME HERE. I MISS YOU SO.DO YOU SEE MOM?..SO MANY LOSSES THESE PAST YEARS MY BABY...SAMMY IS UP THERE WITH YOU AS WELL NOW..


1-3-14....WELL, HERE WE ARE AGAIN......8 YEARS LATER..AND I SRILL CRY....I JUST READ THE ENTIRE BIO ABOVE...IT BROUGHT BACK SO MANY MEMORIES....GOOD AND BAD....I THINK ABOUT YOU AND TALK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY...SCOTT CAME BY YESTERDAY WITH HIS KIDS.....CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT....CUTE AS BUGS.....HENRY IS 2...LINCOLN IS 1......WE WERE TALING ABOUT YOU...AND MISSING YOU... I STILL CRY WHEN I COME HERE.......TELL MOM HELLO FOR ME...I MISS ALL OF YOU...HAVE YOU FOUND SAMMY?....I NOW HAVE MAYA....A MAINE COON I RESCUED....SHE RULES THE HOUSE....I LOVE AND MISS YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.....XOXO....MOM...

11-7-14....WEll..ALMOST A YEAR....SHAME ON ME...HOPE YOU GUYS ARE ALL TOGETHER...I MISS YOU MY LITTLE MAN...A FRIEND OF MINE FROM FACEBOOK HAD TO SAY GOODBY TO HER BELOVED RAEGAN..SO PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN FOR A CUTE LITTLE BLACK LADRADOODLE...WITH A PINK BOW...YOULL LOVE HER...SHOW HER AROUND AND COMFORT HER...HER MOMMY MISSES HER SO MUCH..I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU EVERYDAY...YOUR PICTURE IS WHERE IS ALWYS HAS BEEN...AND I KISS YOU GOODNIGHT EVERYNIGHT....MISSING YOU ALWAYS...MOM..XOX

11-8-14...JUST NEEDED TO STOP BY AND GIVE YOU SOME KISSES...AND LET YOU KNOW I TALK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY...AND I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH..HOPING YOU HAVE FOUND RAEGAN...AND ARE TAKING GOOD CARE OF HER...WHICH IM SURE YOU ARE,,,I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ZACKY...PLEASE SAY HELLO AND GIVE KISSES TO MOM...YOURE ALWAYS IN MY HEART

1-3-15... SHAME ON ME...I COME BY ONCE A MONTH AND TALK TO YOU...BEEN HAVING A ROUGH TIME WILL MOM BEING GONE...CANT SEEM TO GET MY HEAD OUT FROM MY ASS..CANT SEEM TO BRING MY JEWELRY BUSINESS BACK..CANT SEEM TO DO ALOT OF THINGS...THE 2 MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN MY LIFE ARE GONE...YOU AND MOM..I HAVE LUCAS ANSD MARLEY......MARLEY IS MY SAVING LIFE FORCE....BUT I STILL MISS YOU...AND CRY EVERYTIME I COME HERE...I KNOW YOURE WHOLE AGAIN..BUT I STILL MISS YOUR SCENT AND THAT SILLY BUNCH OF HAIR ON TOP OF YOUR HEAD...I JUST MISS YOU..ITS BEEN 9 YEARS...AND IT STILL HURTS...I LOVE YOU MY LITTLE BOY..YOU GAVE SO MUCH TO ME...XOXO


1-30-15...PLEASE BABY...LOOK FOR LEXIE..SHES A BEAUTIFUL LLITTLE GIRL THAT LOOKS ALOT LIKE MARLEY..SHE HAD TO LEAVE HER BELOVED MOMMY..SO IM ASKING YOU TO WATCH OVER HER AND MAKE SURE SHES OK..PLEASE BABY,,,DO THAT FOR ME..I LOVE AND MISS YOU AS ALWAYS
....MOMXOXOXOX

3-17-15....JUST THOUGHT ID STOP BY AND TELL YOU I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TERRIBLY...I TALK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME...AND A DAY DOES NOT GO BY THAT I DONT SAY YOUR NAME...YOU ARE SO MISSED..DID YOU FIND LEXIE?,,,HER MOM MISSES HER SO SO MUCH...BE GOOD MY LITTLE ANGEL..PLEASE GIVE KISSES TO TYLER SAMMY TASHA...AND OF COURSE MOM...XOXO

1-2-16...WELL..ANOTHER YEAR HAS COME AND GONE...AND I MISS YOU AS MUCH TODAY AS I DID THE DAY YOU LEFT ME.10 YEARS...I CANT BELIEVE IT...AND THE HURT IS STILL HERE...LUCAS WILL BE 10 IN FEB...AND MARLEY WILL BE 8 ...LIFE GOES ON...BUT THE WHOLE IN MY HEART FOR YOU STILL REMAINS...I LOVE YOU MY LITTLE MAN...AND I THINK OF YOU SO OFTEN...THERE IS NOT A DAY THAT PASSES THAT I DONT SAY YOUR NAME...I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU TERRIBLY....MOMMY...XOXO

1-3-16...SO TODAY....IS YOUR ANNIVERSARY ....OF LEAVING ME...LUCAS HAD TO SAY GOOD BYE ON JUNE 28...AND I NEVER LET YOU KNOW...AND I FEEL SO BAD ABOUT THAT...I LOVED HIM DO MUCH...I HOPE YOU HAVE FOUND EACH OTHER....AND I HOPE ..AS I KNOW YOU ARE ENJOYING EACH OTHERS COMPANY...PLEASE KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU..AND I MISS YOU...SO MUCH..AND PLEASE TAKE CARE OF HIM...HES A REALLY GOOD BOY...XOXOXOXO

11-17-17...BOY...ITS BEEN TO LONG SINCE IVE GONE TO SAY HELLO...I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY...YOU WERE AND STILL ARE SO SPECIAL TO ME...WE HAD SO MANY WONDERFUL MEMORIES...GOOD TIMES...I LOVE AND MISS YOU.XOX



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