November 2, 2017 - Just a quick note to let you know I have not forgotten about you. With the two girls and now Sophie, they keep the hole in my heart, left by you having to leave, going. I see so much of you in all of them. I even feel that at times you are sending me your love through them. I hope you are happy at the bridge and have many friends. Hope you had a chance to visit with Mazy before she left to be with Grandma forever. I will talk to you on Christmas Eve baby girl. Stay sweet. Mama loves you Honey Bunny.|
October 5, 2009 - I cannot believe you have been gone for three years now and I still miss you as much today as the day I lost you. Oh what I would give to just hold you one more time. Mazy is now 16 years old and her age is showing even more but she still remains a happy little thing. I fear she may not be with us much longer but I know you are there to welcome her with open arms. She will be in good hands when her time comes. I know you will help her find her way to grandma, who is also anxiously waiting for her. They will finally get to be together forever, healthy, and happy. Muffin and Trina continue to be little loves and are beautiful and sweet. Muffin, at times, reminds me so much of you. I swear that you are channeling your love through her, I can just feel it. Trina still pushes her way into everything to be the center of attention but she is a love. At three years old they STILL are not fluffy but they are gorgious little girls just the same. Muffin loves to sit in the sun in the backyard, just like you would have. Trina likes to wander and smell everything and bark at anything that moves. Well, my little sugar pump, time to go once again. I did not make it out for our Christmas Eve chat last year but you know you were in my heart the whole time. I will try to make sure I make our little holiday chat this year, no matter where I am. I love you, miss you, and know that you are watching over all of us each day. Stay sweet baby girl, mama loves you with all of my heart.
November 19, 2008 - Hello my sweetie. Another year has come and gone and I still think of you just about everyday. We finally found the perfect house and purchased it this spring. While packing I found the small shelf that I kept where you walked through the paint and left your little foot prints. I remember scolding you for walking through the paint, but you looked at me those sweet brown eyes of yours and I couldn't help but smile. I left your foot prints right there in the paint and signed it "Winnie the Pooh was Here". I am so glad now that I did. You could always melt my heart no matter what you did wrong. I now sometimes stand in the back door and can see you in the backyard soaking up the sun. I just know you would have loved it here. The babies just love the yard and they run like the wind. They are now two years old and beautiful. I am still waiting for them to get fluffy like you though. I guess they are late bloomers. Muffin is my little love. She is so sweet and so pretty, alot like you. Trina is just a love hog and just demands to have your attention all the time. She will even push Muffin out of the way to get your attention. She is just a plain funny little dog. Mazy is still with us but is beginning to really show her age. She has slowed down quite a bit and her arthritis is getting the better of her. She is now on some pain meds to help her out. No matter what she is always such a happy little dog and never complains. The holidays are fast approaching and once again you are not here. I cannot believe how much I still miss you. The hurt is not as bad but I still miss you terribly. I never knew I could love anything as much as I loved you, and still do. You changed my life little one. Well I won't ramble on and on, I just wanted to come here for a brief moment and let you know that you are still and will always be in my heart. You will always be my Honey Bunny and my sugar pump. I send you all my kisses, my hugs, and most of all my love. You stay sweet baby girl and I will talk to you on Christmas Eve. Mama loves you and misses you so much.
October 8, 2007 - Well Honey Bunny, as of yesterday, it has been a year since I lost you. The puppies have grown and are a handful but cute as can be. Sometimes I look at them and they will do a little something that reminds me of you and I will cry. I still miss you just as much today as I did the day I lost you. I do have days where I may not have thoughts of you but that does not mean that I do not love you and miss you. If it were not for the puppies I would be miserable everyday. But even with them in the house I still miss you terribly. To really feel close to you I really want to get another pomeranian that looks like you. I miss how small and fluffy you were and how soft your fur was. The puppies are a different kind of pom, which was good at that time. But now I long for a little girl pom that reminds me of you. I know I won't ever have another you, because you were a one of a kind. John and I are going to buy a house this fall, where we can start new and happy memories. Where we live now we only rent and it has quite a bit of saddness in it. You were diagnosed with your cancer right after we moved in. It has a few special moments but not enough. I know when we get our new house with a fenced in back yard that your spirit will be with us. Always remember that no matter what, where, or when I think of you so very often, miss you so very much, and love you more than you know. Be good my little sugar pump. Please don't forget me. Mama loves you.
January 11, 2007 - Hello my little Sugar Pump. It has taken me awhile to get out here and say a few words to you. Don't worry I have not forgotten you, but then you know that. I sing to you almost everynight and tell you that I love and miss you. Coming out here and seeing your picture makes me so sad that I can not hold you or feel your soft fur. But I know you are happy and healthy where you are. I also know you are watching over us all the time. The new puppies are such a handful but they are also such a joy. They really help to fill the void you left in our home. They can not replace you but they do help to heal my heart, but my soul remains with you. They have gotten so big and are now starting to get so pretty. Mazy plays with them a lot but because she is only a year younger than you they have a tendancy to wear her out. Mazy missed you so much when you did not come home. She sat at the front door for 3 days waiting for you. You did not play with her or really take any notice of her but she did enjoy your company. I know you did not like it when we brought her home but with Grandma gone she needed a new home. I know deep down you understood, even if you did not like it much. You were mama's girl and did not want to share but you did and you did it with such grace. I came out into the yard on Christmas Eve to look up at the sky and talk to you. I hope you heard me. The holidays just were not the same without you. I made sure you were still apart of them by hanging an ornament on the tree with your picture. You twinkled right along with the lights. Now a new year has come and I must keep going. You may not be here in body but I know you are here in spirit. Please continue to watch over the babies while I am a work. You are the perfect little babysitter. Make sure they stay safe, healthy, and good. Watch over me, John and Mazy too! We all miss you so much and love you even more. Mama loves you honey bunny...
Winnie was 2-1/2 years old when I got her and she turned into the love of my life instantly. I was going through divorce, lost my job a few months after getting her, bankruptcy, financial ruin, and a string of bad relationships. She went everywhere with me and loved riding in the car. There were times that I just did not know what I would have done without her. When things would get really bad I could sit on my couch and look beside me and know that I always had someone that loved me and didn't mind when I leaned on her for emotional support.
In 1999, I then decided to move to another state and start over. Though the packing always made her upset, as long as we were together she was fine with it, so off we went. After a long 2 years my life finally was turning around. I had a new place to live, a great new job, was becoming financially fit again, and met the man of my dreams and married him in 2002. Winnie was my brides maid. Life was good.
I was finally able to get the attention that Winnie needed so badly but she never complained about. I had her small hernia repaired, had her teeth cleaned and the bad ones pulled. She was healthy and happy. Then in February of 2006 she started to get a stuffy nose. I took her several times to the vet but to no avail. Finally, after two surgeries, xrays, and a biospy they told me she had cancer, that there was nothing they could do for her, and that she only had months to live. I was devasted and angry. How could she be going on 14 years old, be so healthy, and now have cancer be what takes her life. It just was not fair, especially after losing my mom just the year before to cancer. So, started the medications to keep her comfortable and more visits to the vet. No matter how bad she felt she always was happy, wagged her tail, and all she wanted was to spend as much time with me as she could. The cancer progressed very quickly but her quality of life stayed good for the most part. That is, until September 24th when I noticed she was having a seizure. Scared me to no end. She bit her tongue and of course it was bleeding. I just cried myself to death knowing that the end was here. The vet prescribed her some anti-seizure medication to see if the seizures could be controlled, seeing that she still had some quality of life left. She would have to go but not today. I never really knew if the medication was helping much, being that I had to go to work and leave her home. I worried about her all the time. She had another seizure the next weekend and the dosage was taken up, which put her into a drunk like state. She would fall over while walking, fell down the stairs twice, and out of bed. She never was hurt but it was not good never-the-less. She had yet another seizure two weeks after they started and this was a bad one and she had mangled her little tongue pretty bad. I decided then that even though her quality of life was still pretty good, being drugged up or having seizures was not what I wanted for her and I would not keep her alive for the sake of keeping her alive. I put her down in peace on that same day, October 7, 2006 and my heart just died with her. I do not regret putting her down at all. I just wanted peace for her. What hurts the most is not being able to see her or hold her ever again. Winnie was my heart, my soul, and my world. I knew she would have to go one day but one is never prepared for the emptiness that follows. My life was so full of love, joy, and happiness because of her.
I try to look at Winnie leaving in this way. She came to me during some of the worst times in my life. She stayed with me through it all and loved me no matter what. Once my life turned around and I met my husband, she knew her job was done and that I would be ok. It was time for her to go and let another pet pick up where she left off.
We had already planned on a new puppy before she left us, because I knew it was going to be unbearable not having my loving, vivacious Pomeranian in the house. I also knew in my heart that she would probably leave me before they arrived and she did. Which was for the best. Because not only did we get one puppy but my husband decided to get two Pomeranian puppies, which could have been a little over bearing for her to handle. My home is now filled with love, joy, happiness, and much energy again. They will never replace my precious Winnie but I know they will help to fill the void that was left when she moved on.
I know that she is an angel now and is looking over all of us. All Winnie ever wanted was for me to be happy. All I wanted for her was to live happily and go in peace. I believe between the two of us we accomplished it all. We made such a great team and we will be a great team again when we meet at Rainbows Bridge. Wait for me Honey Bunny and be a good girl. You will always be my little Sugar Pump. Mama Loves you!