My Vinny is a one of a kind half breed human. Don't let the looks fool you because he wouldn't hurt anyone. He didn't like big dogs much but he was ok with smaller dogs. I got Vinny in June of 2002. It was love at first sight. He was my 1st love really. The first time Jeremy came to my apartment he played with Vinny for an hour. Thats how I knew he was a keeper. Then when John was born, Vinny couldn't have loved him more. "Hey kid, gimme a bite" Thats what John would say you told him. You always followed him looking for the next treat and he was always so willing to give it to you. This past July 4th Jeremy found them. The lumps on your neck that would prove to be lymphoma. You were so brave through the chemo and came to enjoy your trips to see your new friends. I knew we were coming to an end when the lymphoma returned yet again. I knew it was time to give you some peace even if it meant our time would be cut short. We had 25 days of no needles and one hour trips. I'm sure for you it was a good 25 days but each day for me I knew was one day closer to losing you. I knew we were close so I made the appointment on Friday to take you to the vet on Tuesday to do what I knew was best for YOU. I prayed that night for God to show me a sign that I was doing the right thing and that it wasn't too premature. He gave me a sign the next morning. That sign was the sounds of you struggling with breathing. I wasn't there the day you were born but God blessed me and on floor of the vet office I held you in my arms as you took your last breath and returned home to Him. You took part of me with you. What joy you have brought to my life and though you never said it I knew you "loved your momma". I love you pup and until we meet again.|
10-18-10 ~ Only one more night without you here. We bring you home for good tomorrow. I picked out a beautiful urn Vin. I hope you like it. John's class is making a donation of food to the spca this week & it will be in your memory. How awesome is that! You touched sooo many lives.Oh Vinny, what I wouldn't give to have you here with me. This house feels so empty. I will see you again tomorrow and kiss your sweet face one last time before they cremate you. I love ya pup and wait patiently for me. I can't wait to see those ears & that "wiggle butt" once more.
10-25-10 ~ Hi pup. I hope you are well. I know you are because I KNOW where you are. You are waiting patiently for me. I promise I will get to you one day but for now I am here with your "kid". He is doing good. I pray that he knows peace through this. We looked at a puppy last night and he wants to name his Rocky. He will come home with us just before Christmas. I pray that you approve of him. He can never replace you but I hope somewhere, you tucked away something in him that is just a little piece of you. I knew losing you would be hard but I had no clue. I cried that first night and told Daddy that I didn't want to go home because I knew you weren't here. How is this house a home without you. Its been over a week a now but still no better. I pray that you know I love you and know that I miss you and always will. Momma loves ya! Good Night pupper.
11-5-10 ~ I can't believe tomorrow will be 3 weeks that you have been gone. I think about you all the time & miss you so much. It's getting a little better but somedays I forget you are gone or something will happen to make me think of what you would have done and the grief comes again. I still wish you would visit me in a dream but I know you will when you are ready. John got a bearded dragon Tuesday. I wonder what you would think about him. I can see your face as you check him out. You'd probably curl up your lips like you would do when you'd smell something you didn't like. I still wonder "why you?" Why did you have to be the one to get lymphoma. You were a good dog. No, you were a great dog! I know in my heart that I will love any dog we own but I'll always love you the best. You were different. How did I get to be so lucky that you were MINE?
11-16-10 ~ It been one month since you went home to God. I tell him to scratch your neck but he knows you well and I know he does. I miss you still, I always will. I know that will never change, I just pray that it gets easier. I want to see your pictures and smile, not cry. I know it will happen one day. I love ya pup! I'm off to get your kid from school now.
11-25-10 ~ Happy Thanksgiving Vin. Hope you had a good one. Missed ya not being here but I know you had to go. I miss you so much everyday. I thought this was getting easier but it's not. I am dreading Christmas. My first one without you. I decorated your page so your tree is up 1st. Daddy brought down all the decorations from the attic and I'm going to put them up tomorrow. Your stocking will be up like its always been. Rocky comes home a week before Christmas. I pray that he stays healthy and doesn't have to go through what you did. I often wonder what would have happened if we had done nothing. Would you still be here? Spending one last Christmas with us? Everything happens for a reason and I must accept that. I love ya pupper. Now and always.
11-28-10 ~ Hi Vin. I miss you so much. Will this ever get easier? How do I do this without you. You always helped my dry my tears and heal my hurts. You were my best friend. How do you get past lossing your best friend? I think about our trip to the beach the week before you died. I want to be there again. On the beach watching you and John play. I swear I heard your nails on the hard wood floor the other day. I closed my eyes and just pretended you were there. Just for one second that everything was ok again. John is doing good. He has handled things so well. I'm thankful for that. What would I do if he handled it like me?! I fear that he won't remember you well. That he won't remember how you 2 played the day away, the time you broke his toe playing ball. You never meant to. You'd never hurt him on purpose. Well its getting late and John is awake now so sleep well baby. I have to get your "kid" to bed
12-9-10 ~ Just wanted to visit you for a little. Gives me some peace. I hope you have peace. I hope you have a beautiful Christmas at the bridge. Are there lots of treats? I bet theres lots of lights. You have always been a good boy so you are sure to get lots of presents. I will miss not putting a present under the tree for you. You always loved ripping your present open. We will bring Rocky home before Christmas. Mam says you are laughing because you know what I've got coming to me bringing home another boxer pup. See what you started! You have spoiled me and turned me into this person. I may need help with this pup if he is anything like you! No matter how many boxer babies I have in my lifetime, don't tell, but you will always be my favorite and I will always wish it was you I had here instead. None will ever hold a candle to you. Good night and Momma loves you so much.
12-16-10 ~ Hi pupper. Its been 2 months since you have been gone. Doesn't seem possible that you have been gone that long already. It is snowing here and John is watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas. We are going to bake some cookies tomorrow and clean the house to get ready for Rocky. He will come home on Saturday morning and I have to make sure everything is put away so he can't get into and hurt himself. I miss you pup but I know you are happy and healthy now and I will see you again one day. I love you.
12-25-10 ~ Merry Christmas my angel. I hope Christmas in heaven is everything we dream it is. May you get all the cotton candy you could ever dream of and the best of presents because you deserve that and so much more. Christmas won't be the same without you here. Last Christmas I never would have dreamed would be your last. I will carry you in my heart today and everyday. Give Jesus a birthday kiss. There's nothing better in this world then a kiss from that sweet mushie. I miss those kisses so much but I know one day you will be waiting patietly to greet me once again. Merry Christmas baby.
1-6-11 ~ Happy new year baby boy! Momma missed her kiss this new years from you. I reached for you tonight. I was sitting here on the couch and I reached over to pet you like I have done 1000 times. Its been almost 3 months and I still have moments where I forget that you are gone. It doesn't seem possible. I took down your Christmas tree and sent you some Valentine's chocolates. I love you pup and sleep tight!
1-16-11 ~ I can't believe that I am writing this but its been 3 months without you. I still worry somedays that you don't know that I think of you all the time. Do you know how much I still miss you and love you. Even though Rocky is here and he has helped so much, noone will ever take your place. You would be so proud of Rocky and how he takes good care of your kid. John told me once that we like Vinny better though. It makes me sad to think that he might not remember much of you as he gets older. I am sure that he will remember how you made him feel. He loved you so much even though he didn't get as much of you as I did. I thank God for all the times that we shared and the memories that I have of you. I love you baby.
2-16-11 ~ Well pup, it has been 4 months since you've been here. I miss you everyday. I got to meet your baby sister Saturday. It didn't feel like I thought it would. I thought that seeing her would somehow ease the pain I still have from losing you. I think about you all the time. I lost my best friend. Sometimes I wonder if this will ever get better? I cry because I know John won't remember details about his Vinny pupper and that makes me sad. I guess though, I will always remember so that is enough. Rocky is getting a little better but he's so wild. It reminds alot of you. He has that "boxer" spirit. Somedays he helps because I think of the good memories of you. Othertimes, it hurts. I rub his neck and remember how all the lumps made your neck feel at the end. I find myself checking him to make sure he doesn't have any. I pray that you led me to healthy puppy. I couldn't bear going through that again. I know that I made the right choice with your treatments. If they would have worked, you'd still be here. But it wasn't meant to be that way. Someday I will know why But until then all I know is that everything happens for a reason. You were brought to me to bring as much joy and happiness that any person can have. You were my companion, protector and my best friend. John talked about you last week. He said "mom, do you like Rocky better than Vinny? Vinny's in heaven." How do I answer that. I love Rocky but you will always have my heart. You stole it that very first day. It was love at first sight! Momma's going to get some sleep so sweet dreams baby boy. Your momma "wuvs" you.
3-17-11 ~ Happy St. Patty's Day Vinny! Yesterday was 5 months without you. I'm doing better these days but I still have my moments. Rocky helps alot too. He is crazy. He has that boxer spirit and alot of him reminds me of you. I wonder what you would think of him? You never liked dogs other than the poms and Bailey so I can imagine what you'd think of him. I changed your background to spring and set up your Easter basket. Its going to be your 1st Easter in Heaven. I bet its just beautiful. I love you pup and I'll talk to you soon.
4-12-11 ~ Happy Birthday beautiful boy! I hope you had lots of cotton candy today. I took treats to all your girls at the oncology service including Alda. I know she was always your favorite. It was nice to see them for better reasons this time. I hope your 1st birthday at the bridge was wonderful. Love you and miss you always.
4-26-11 ~ Hi pupper. Sorry I didn't get to tell you Happy Easter but the internet was acting up. So I FINALLY dreamt of you last night. You were happy and fat. I rubbed your ears, It was you but your ears were shorter and thinner. I don't remember feeling any lumps on you though. It was such a short dream. I left you an ice cream sundae like the pup cups we used to bring home for you. I hope you still know that I love and miss you with all my heart. Wait patiently for me Vin, until we meet again.
6-27-11 ~ Hello beautiful. It's been a little while since I have written on here but you know there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you or miss you. John picked up a keychain the other day that you put pictures in. He wanted to buy it so we could put your picture in. I know he still misses you. Rocky is doing a good job at taking care of him but you were much easier since you were older and more gentle. But he is still a good boy. You must have taught him well because he is a momma's boy just like you were but even more so. Well pupper, sleep well and I will tell Jesus to give that neck an extra scratch from your momma. Love ya.
10-16-11 ~ I got an email this morning from Rainbow Bridge that said today was 1 year since you went to the bridge. I didn't need that email. If you its possible for you to know my thoughts, you know I think of you everyday and that I have dreaded this day coming for the last week. I thought of how last weekend was a year since our beach trip and that the week that followed would lead up to that Saturday when we lost you. We made it through all our "firsts". Our first Christmas, your birthday, all have passed and you aren't here. Its been a year since I have been able to feel you or kiss you. Fate lead me to you and I have no doubt you lead me to Rocky. He is the only thing that could save me from my heartache of losing you. Even as I write this with tears on my cheeks, he lies faithfully beside me just like you would have done. Thank you for him. Even in death you knew what I needed. The only thing that would help. Happy 1st angel birthday baby. I love you!
12-12-11 ~ Hi pup. I got your Christmas stuff up so Mam would hush. Tell her how pretty everything is here with YOU. I would never forget to decorate for you. Your stocking is hung on the mantle. John said "too bad he's not here". We all think about you all the time but its so nice to be able to to talk about you and smile instead of cry. I read a shirt the other day that said "life is a series of dogs" you were the best one yet. I love you and will see you again. Tell Jesus Happy Birthday.
1-1-12 ~ Happy New Year!! I trust you had a good Christmas and got lots of toys pup because I know what a good boy you are. Your 2nd Christmas in Heaven. You are an ol' pro at it now old man. I put away your Christmas decorations til next year. I set out your box of Valentines chocolates early so you have a good treat. I love ya!
4-9-12 ~ Happy Easter Pupper! Your birthday is coming up really soon. Hope you get presents, cake and cotton candy! John said to tell you he misses you. We all love and miss you but are glad you aren't sick anymore. Love, your momma
4-12-12 ~ Happy Birthday baby boy! You would have been 10 years old today. I hope you got all the cotton candy that your heart desired and that you have a great day. We love you and miss you everyday. Love, your Momma
10-16-12 ~ Good morning pup. Doesn't seem possible that you have been at the bridge now for 2 years. We still miss you everyday. You would be so proud of how good Rocky takes care of us. He's not you but thats ok. He's a good dog and has lots of puppy energy still to keep up with John. I'm glad that each day has brought me more peace and that the happy memories outweigh the sadness of this one day. It was all worth it and I wouldn't change not one thing. Love ya pupper!
12-6-12 ~ Good morning baby! I put up your Christmas decorations here and I'm working on the rest of your decorations here. It's been a long, sad week but I know that you found Nan and that you will keep her company til we all get there. I'm so glad she will take good care of you while you wait for me. Give her kisses everyday from us and tell her I'm so glad she feels better and that we will all be just fine here knowing that she is watching over us everyday.
10-16-13~ Hi pupper. Thinking of you this morning and how peaceful my morning is compared to what it was 3 years ago. I'm glad you are at peace now though and there is no more pain for you. I still miss you everyday. Go get some cotton candy for your Angel birthday. I love you pup!
10-16-15~ Its been a while since I have stopped by rainbow bridge. I miss you every day but I'm glad you are at peace. I will see you one day and kiss that beautiful face. Until then pup, I love you!