Welcome to Toby's Rainbow Bridge Memorial Residency
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Memories of Toby
Toby came to us and was with us for only 6 short months. They were probably the best 6 months he ever had though. He ended up having 8 brothers and sisters he probably did not want, but he tolerated them well. Toby, we ended up finding out, had very advanced kidney disease. Unusual for being only 6 years old. The only thing I did was go to get food for the kids, and I was called upon by my vet clinic. Toby had been there for 2 days and needed a home. I was given his story and met Toby. We looked at each other and Toby acquired me. Home we came. After settling in, and Toby still not feeling well, I found out what was wrong. We got that under control the best we could since that important information was not given to anybody. I so dearly wish it would have been as it was so unfair to Toby. Toby, being the elder of the clan, fit himself right in. He watched everything that went on around him. And when he was having a very good day, of which he had months of, he would play with the others for awhile until he got tired. He also knew when to intervene. When my daughter was on the computer talking to her sister and arguing he would swat her hands so that she could no longer type, and he would not stop until she stopped! He was one smart cookie. He was one of the 4 that slept in the bedroom, and his purr would shake the house down. He would lay on my husbands chest, nose to nose, and purr. While I laid there and laughed as my husband would not move. Toby always would end up sleeping at the end of the bed at my feet or at my head. When my daughter brought home a kitten that had been abandoned by it's mother, and the kitten got the all clear from the vet and introduced to the 8 kids already in the household, Toby would take a fatherly role when needed to teach this new child some lessons and give a few swats. It was funny at times when the baby just did not know what to make of it. Toby knew he had his special food to eat, but when he had his meds to take, I had to put them in the tender, hairball treats. And he knew when it was time. He could hear the cabinet door start to open before I got to it and he was in the kitchen and on the counter before you could even think to call him, let alone say anything. You would have thought he was a bunny hopping! And to put a pill into the treat? Forget it. Just mush it in a little, and he had that thing down his throat. No problem. Easy peasy. As that little booger would cheek his pills if you tried to pill him any other way, and you would find them on the floor somewhere later on. Toby was fortunate in that he did not have any vet visits except for follow-up blood work once we got his condition as controlled as possible. He was as healthy as could be expected, was very loved, and had 6 months longer than he would have had anywhere else. I just wish I could have given him more time. Some think just because we had him for only 6 months it's not a big thing. Little do they know. Once a cat acquires you, it does not matter if it's a day. He stole my heart, just as the rest of them have. I knew that Monday that he was not feeling that well, but Toby liked to eat everyone else's food besides his. I took him for his tummy shave and nail clip that Monday at the clinic and he did not look bad. I put him in the bedroom that Monday evening with his food only, as I have had to do at times when he indulged too much. Tuesday evening he tried to eat a treat, but didn't and I knew in the back of my head I think, that he was going downhill, especially when he looked me in the eyes. We just looked at each other for a few minutes, I petted him and backed off. He still did not look that bad however. Wednesday morning when I got ready for work he came out of the bedroom and he looked worse. I called from work to make the appointment at the vet, and I made it for later in the afternoon when I got off work, as I knew, but did not want to face it. And I could not, would not, make it earlier for my daughter to have to take him in. When I got him and walked in the door to get him I knew. Then and there I knew. When I put him in the carrier he looked at me and he let me know too that it was his time, and it just about killed me. But, knowing that anyway, I took him in, and we did the blood work, and it was confirmed that Toby's kidneys had done all they could and had shut-down. And the only right thing to do for Toby was to let him go. As my vet said, the right thing for Toby, but sucky for everyone else. As hard as it was, I had to be there for him to the end. It was the least I could do. Even though he was pretty out of it due to the disease process, he had some coherent and lucid moments in the office. I was crying about the entire time, and that was okay I know. At the end, he looked me in the eyes, and he knew I was there for him, and I think he was glad I was. Just a cat..ha! Toby was a part of my family, just as they all are. Cat people don't understand....cat's acquire people. Toby acquired me, and he acquired me when he needed me the most. Mind you he came across states to do so. To an obscure town that most people can't pronounce. It may have only been 6 months here, but I know, one day we will see each other again. And he will probably still be swatting when dogs think they have him cleared....that's my Toby. We sure do miss him.

10/26/07 - It's only been 23 days, yet it seems a lifetime at times, and at others it seems just yesterday. And I keep hearing a cat meowing, like they are in one of the spare rooms (remember when you snuck into the spare room and got shut in and mama heard you thru the walls?). I hear it and say something, but no one else does. We count heads and all 8 are accounted for, but I go looking anyway. It happened again tonight and I could not find Lolita. Looked for 30 minutes and found her finally, asleep in the living room under something, so it was not her. Is it you Toby? Or am I just going a little crazy because I want it to be you? I don't think I am honestly. And I don't feel guilt about you getting stuck in the room as I was not the one who did it, but we know who it was huh? I hope you are making alot of friends at R.B. I miss and love you alot Tobster. So do the rest of the kids.

10/28/07 - Well Tobster, I shared your residency page with a friend of mine and Anneka's. I think it's something she needs for her furbaby. I will find out her baby's name. I think it would help her alot. Yes, I heard you and I know you agree with me. :-). Yes, it was a late night at work too. I also need you to do something if you would. Take a little time from meeting all your new friends and playing and greeting all the new babies and help Stephanie out a little if you haven't been already. She is the lady doing your sculpted urn and she is so worried she is not going to get it just right. I only had a few pictures of you and could only tell her just so much since you were with me for such a short time. There were years behind that 6 months that we just don't know about, and maybe don't want to know about. But she so wants to get the essence of you into that sculpture. No, it is not an exact replica as you know I am sure, and that is not what I wanted anyway. That just wouldn't be, well, you know what I mean and can't put into words. So, since I know you can tell when she is working on you, would you please, if you would, just show her in her mind and give her the feeling she needs so that she is 100% sure and stops worrying so much she is going to not get it right? I know she will, she just worries so because of the whole time thing I think, and because she cares. I have seen her work and I just don't see how she could get it wrong anyway, do you? I think she could just do with a little reassurance from you though, if you don't mind. I do hope that you happen upon my mother as well. She left in 1995 and her name is Candy. She has, as far as I know, not seen fit to visit at all. Guess she figures I haven't needed one from her (HA to her on that one, but need and want are two different things). I guess though she has visited in my dreams, just not like you outside of my dreams. She would like you alot. She was my human best friend. So she will be very nice to you. And Toby, please do not swat any dogs butts when they think they are clear of you. Not everyone thinks it's as funny as your mama did. Okay? Love and miss you Tobster.

10/29/07 - Toby, the one thing that has always bothered me is that I never knew when your birthday was. That other human did not pass that along. Your brothers and sisters have one, well, the ones that got picked for them anyway since they were born stray's and adopted at the vet's except for BooBoo, who, as you well know is our resident Dumpster Kitty. So, since we have no idea mama has come up with her own plan. She will wish you a happy birthday when she so wishes too. How does that sound? Does it matter? Probably not. But, that is beside the point. Everyone else has a birthday, so will you. I have been thinking about the whole closet thing too. When you snuck into the spare room and got closed into the closet for a bit? Am I sure it wasn't me? I am not sure any more that it wasn't me. It's been playing in my mind over and over and I just don't know any more. If it was me I know I apologized, and I am sorry. If it wasn't me I still am sorry. I just don't know anymore. You were the best sneak of all of them. Makes me think you use to have to sneak alot in your past though. And THAT I don't like to think about at all. Do you remember Bones? Mama Linda's kitten that acquired her thru me when BooBoo decided he was staying with us? We are cat sitting him again. He and BooBoo are still best of friends. Bones does, of course, still go after everyone's (people) food. When you eat you have to put him in the bedroom or he snatches your food right off your plate! Need you here to swat him good! His fur has changed. The frosted tips on each black strand are gone, so he no longer looks like a boneyard. But he is still a pretty cat. He does need manners taught like you could teach though. He and BooBoo curl up together like before sometimes. Waltrip does hiss at him some though. And of course Hissy does! Miss you and Love you Toby.

11/1/07 - There are some crazy people in our family Tobster. You know exactly what I am talking about don't you pal. You know everything going on. Aargg. Just give 'em a good swat is what I say! Bones sure did enjoy his stay. Him and BooBoo are such good friends. Best friends. I wish you could have been here with us to see them. I would have loved watching you watch them. I know you are making friends and playing, and you know who I would like you to find to make friends with and play with too please. If you have not already done so. You are a smart one. You always seemed to know. Love and miss you!

11/15/07- Well Toby, I know you and Lilly are having fun. I expect that you two have met up with Walnetta and taken her under your paws as well. A precious peanut there. Everyone here misses you bunches and bunches. Your treats are still in the cupboard and your food is still in the pantry. I can't move it. It seems like you have been gone forever but then it seems like just yesterday. Take good care of Walnetta, she is so little. Her mommy will appreciate it! Love and miss you lots!

11/22/07 - Happy Thanksgiving Tobster. It would have been your first with us. We did not really get much into the holidays anyway, not since my mom passed. But, it would have been much fun to see how you would have been around a tree. I would have put one up for a short time just to see if you did as the others do before taking it down. I always had to take it down because if not, your brothers and sisters saw to it that it would get tore up! But it was much fun too see them all in and about it! So yes my dear Toby, it is very much sucky that you are not here with us for the holidays. I send my love to you though. And give Lilly and Walnetta little kisses on their noses!! Miss you Tobster!!

11/30/07 - Hey Toby, I hope you are doing well. Stephanie sent pictures the other day. You are coming along great. Tails, eyes, ears, fine details, then dry you out, fire you and paint you. You are showing her you aren't you bud? You know, I really do think that the KFC stuff did something to BooBoo when he was there. I wish we knew how long he was there before she brought him home. If he was 5 weeks when we got him, and he was there for a week for sure, how long before that? Anyway, how many other cats do you know that will chase their own tail around in circles? For a long period of time? And not just once a day either!?!? And lay there on the floor, find his tail and think it's a toy? So he plays with it, grabs it, plays with it. And is amused by it! Weird. Maybe it just took awhile for that grease to coat some brain cells or something Toby? I don't know, but weird. Cute, cuddly, but very strange. He does fit right in, huh? Tobster, may I please ask that if you have not already, find Max and take him into your special circle of friends please? I know you pay attention to everything I am doing and saying anyway. So thank you. Love and miss you lots Toby!

12/25/07 - Merry Christmas Toby! You were never here for one with us. We never had that pleasure. I am sorry for that. I was thinking of you when I got the little toys though. You are never far from my thoughts. And you have been visiting alot lately haven't you Tobster? We sure do miss you and wish you could be here with us. Even though mom doesn't put the tree up anymore (have to find one that 8 kids can NOT tear up), and the decorations did not go up this year because the house is in disarray, I am sad that you never got to spend a single Christmas with us. Having said that, you will always be in my heart and thoughts. You may not be here physically Toby, but you will always be here with us. We love and miss you sweetie. Merry Christmas Toby! From all of us.

1/1/08 - Happy New Year Toby! Keep having loads of fun and playing like you couldn't before. Remember to keep visiting. We miss you! Love you lots!

2/11/08 - It's been awhile Toby. I am sure you are having much fun playing and meeting all your new friends joining you. Make them feel very welcome. And keep visiting. I do so enjoy them. We love and miss you!

2/14/08 - Happy Valentine's Day Toby! Eat all the chocolate you want. It can't hurt you now. Love you lot!

3/8/08 - Toby, please take good care of the wee one. He had so many odds stacked against him that took him to you after 3 days. I tried though, I tried really hard. He was soooo tiny. Poor little guy (I say him, but we don't know for sure, just a feeling). We don't know how long he was in the backyard of that lady's house or anything. It was just a shock for him to die while he was in the middle of eating. Just nursing away then nothing. I shook him upside down in case he had choked, tried to stimulate him, tried to get his little heart going, everything I knew, but he was already with you. It is probably better for him. We are going to have a little service for him on Tuesday. Tim made him a little coffin and we will bury him in the front. I am going to make him a grave marker. I know he is with you Toby, and I hope he knows that I so dearly tried so hard to keep him alive. Please make sure he does. And keep him by you always until I am at the bridge with you both. Then I can hold him in the palm of my hand again and tell him how very very sorry I am. It should not make me cry or bother me as much because he was only 2oz and 1/2 the weight, so he was very premature. 3 days old was probably longer than he would have lived otherwise maybe. But I just feel like I should have been able to nurse him along and kept him here with me, alive Toby, just as I feel like I should have been able to nurse YOU along and kept you alive and made you better, or at least healthy enough to survive for years instead of just 6 months more. I do thank you for giving me the chance, and for letting him have 2 days of love and warmth and cuddles that he would not have otherwise. Do not stop sending them my way. They need me and you know it or you would not send them to me. You know what I have to give and that I do whatever is necessary to get the babies better, or on the road to recovery. I need them just as much as they need me. You know what you are doing Toby. you always were alot smarter than alot of people thought! Keep him with you and keep him warm my wonderful Toby! Love you lots!

3/23/08 - Happy Easter Toby! Wish you were here with us. Keep Wee One under your paw and I'll be thinking of you both alot today. Love you Tobster.

7/7/08 - I am so sorry I have been gone too long Toby. I think about you all the time and miss you so very much. I know you still come to visit. That makes me happy. The rest of the kids too I am sure. It just does not seem possible that it has been 9 months. It's like you just left yesterday. Ah Tobster. Love and miss you.

10/16/08 - Hard to believe it has been over 1 year Toby. That was a punch in the gut. Sure do miss you lots. I don't come here as often I know. It is very hard sometimes. You are ALWAYS in my heart and head. I still wish there was more I could have done for you and feel there was more I should have done. I sure do miss you Tobster. Love you!

11/18/08 - Toby the urn is almost ready. You know that. It's still hard, if not harder to come here. Met someone and Ooloo is there at the bridge. Keep an eye out please? Toby, I am so sorry still. Can't say more right now. Love and miss you.

10/3/11 ~ Still miss you loads and loads.

10/6/17 ~ It's been awhile and hard to believe it's been 10 years. I think of you often and miss you greatly.

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