Tj was born on the 19th August 2004 he was the fifth puppy in a litter of six, his mum was tired and the puppy got stuck in his sac. I opened it and quickly his mum nurtured him back to life. As he got older and it was time to leave his mum he came to live with us. He has been my constant companion and my very best friend ever since. |
On the 6th April 2017 he was diagnosed with lymphoma and 11 days later at 10.25 am BST he closed his eyes for the last time and fell asleep with the help of his lovely vet surrounded by so much love and tears.
He wasn't a friendly dog but then I'm not exactly a friendly human. Together we suited each other and had a ball, he was a very loyal and loving little soul to me and my family. He gave the best cuddles. Never left my side when I was very ill and cuddled with me the whole time I recovered from surgery that saved my life. Unbeknown to me my poor baby was silently battling cancer at the same time.
Tj was the centre of my world. I don't have children of my own. I've never been on holiday since I've had him. My theory is if you have a fur baby that responsibility is yours, he would have been miserable without me and I would have been worse worrying that he was ok and feeling guilty because I would have known how upset he was.
Tj loved to dig in the mud and bring it in on his paws all over my lovely clean house, he adored walks along the beach and splashing in the sea. He hated being washed and constantly patrolled for cats to see if he could chase them out of his garden. He liked to knock all the cushions off the sofas if he thought I was away too long. He carried one of my ugg boots around the house when I wasn't home and snuggled into it. I had to search for a missing one many many times when I wanted to wear them. He'd lie on the tv remote so i couldn't find it. He took up most of my bed at night despite having a very nice bed of his own. He thought he should have an endless supply of cookies and was disgusted when at Christmas I produced a reindeer jumper and some matching ears to perch on top of his head. He barked out the window if the neighbours dared come down their own drive ways (the cheek of them) 😉
He was amazing with kids so gentle and patient, it was adults he wasn't so keen on. He was an amazing judge of character. People he didn't ever take to turned out eventually to be not very good people at all. I thought that was an amazing quality to possess.
He was such a character who loved snuggling up on the sofa covered by his blanket. Eating anything that wasn't exactly doggy nutrition, cuddles with his mummy and daddy and scolding the postman. He loved drives in the car. He scolded until the window was down and he could stick his head out it even in the dead of winter and we all froze. He loved playing in the snow and sunbathing on the garden swing. He loved sweeties and was amazing at taking the wrapper of anything. He was an amazing escape artist. He never actually went anywhere he just liked the fact that he knew he could if he wanted too. Six foot gates were no match for him. We called him Houdini dog.
He destroyed every toy he had except for one "skeek" a rubber striped candy cane that made the most hideous noise when you pressed it. That toy was his most treasured possession. He hid it constantly and snatched it away if you mistakenly trod on it.
He thought his job here on earth was to look after me and he did so to his very last breath. I love him immeasurably and will miss him forever. Sleep tight my beautiful baby boy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
By My Side
Some touch your life for a little while
All my love mummy xxxxxxx
One whole week without you sweetheart. A whole week!!! It's been the longest one of my life. The tears are still flowing and we talk about you constantly. The house is filled with pictures of your lovely wee face and I can't bear to throw out your favourite cookies and put your cookie jar away. Somehow when I see it I imagine your still here. It's the silly things I miss the most. Your little paws on the wooden floors upstairs, your bolting down the stairs like a tornado every single morning. Your cheery little face peaking around the door when I come in. Two more sleeps till your ashes come home. Then I think I will feel some comfort of at least having your remains back and I can decide on your final resting place. The days are very long without you. The house is really clean and tidy without you 😉 I'd swap the tidy house for one of your cuddles any day. I love and miss you so much baby boy. I'm carrying you in my heart. All my love. Mummy xxxxxxxxx
Your ashes came home sweetheart and your paw print. A very nice lady called Lynsey looked after you so well for me. I cried buckets, it's been beautifully done. A fitting tribute to my beautiful boy. It's nice to have a little piece of you home again even though its just the remains of your little broken body. I hear you in the house and feel you when I'm sad. It's a comforting feeling. I miss you every second of every day petal. It's only been 12 days. I have to get used to the fact that I'm not going to see you until it's my time to come to Rainbow Bridge. I'm struggling with that.
Two whole weeks without you sweetheart. My heart aches. I miss you so so so much. Xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Your sister Roxy has passed away. Just five weeks after you. A healthy beautiful girl she looked just like you only smaller and friendlier. An accident has taken her away from everyone that loved her so much. She's joining you at rainbow bridge so be sure to take care of her, she's going to be missing her mummy and daddy so very much so you be kind and give her lots of cuddles to help her settle in. I bought her a star right next to yours so you both can shine down from heaven. I miss you so much angel.
Daddy brought home a baby brother this week sweetheart. He's called Riley and he's as daft as a brush. He hasn't had the best start in life so we thought we'd give him the chance of a happy life. You wouldn't like him lol. He's too quick on his feet and at 9 months he gets into everything. The house doesn't feel as empty now. We miss you every day sweetheart. He's not here to replace you. Nothing can ever or will ever do. I hope you're being a good boy and making lots of new friends. Watch over us and help me when Rileys being a little monster. 😉he needs a furbaby angel big brother just like you.
All my love
It's my first birthday without you baby boy. I miss you so very very much.
Happy Birthday angel. My first birthday without you. You would be 13 today. I miss you so very very much. The tears aren't too far today. I hope you are having a special day were you are my angel.
All my love mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Merry Christmas darling. It's 4am and my very first one without you. I still have your bauble on the tree and I had to hang up your stocking. It didn't feel right to leave it in a box. If you were here with me now we'd be snuggling up together. As it is I'm all alone watching the lights sparkle on the tree. Riley is in bed snoring his heads off. I miss you immeasurably my darling. Nothing feels the same without my beautiful baby boy.
All my love mummy xxxx
All my love mummy xxxxxxx
Love mummy xxxx
Happy birthday my darling. 2nd birthday without you. Still miss and think of you every day. Riley's getting better behaved now. I keep praying you're guiding the rascal. I wish we could have one of our special snuggles today that only I was ever blessed enough to get from you. You'd be 14 now that's quite a lot in doggy years. In my heart you'll always be my beautiful baby boy. Happy birthday angel. Fly free
All my love mummy xxxxx
All my love
Hey Baby Boy
Happy new home anniversary angel. My second one without you. The tears they always fall today. I miss you so much and remember you coming home like it was yesterday. My gorgeous snuggly little bundle of loveliness. My heart aches. My precious beautiful perfect baby boy.
All my love
Two years today sweetheart you left this earth. I miss you so much every single day. Can't believe how much it still hurts. You were my comforter, protector and my very best friend. I still feel lost without you I know my baby it was time to let you go. You where suffering so much but I wish I could have done more to make you better. The guilt still haunts me. I tried everything. Fly free angel. I love you forever
All my love
15 today darling, where did all those years go too? I was so blessed to have you in my life for 13 of them and in my heart for 15. I can watch your videos now and smile at your cheeky antics. They say time is a great healer and that's true but that doesn't mean I don't think of you every single day and I'll always love you.
For some reason darling Christmas upsets me the most. Probably because I don't have human babies of my own to spoil. You always made that emptiness easier to cope with because you loved and needed me so much. Riley's a daddies boy. You weren't. It was you and me against the world. Merry Christmas my angel. Wherever you are. Mummy misses you so very much xoxoxo
15 years today angel you came to live with me. 15 years. Wow where did they go too. This was always our day. I love you Tj dog., mummy xoxox
Three years today my beautiful baby boy you left my side to start the next part of your journey. There's not a day that goes by that I don't miss you and love you. Your forever in my heart baby. I love you.
Happy heavenly birthday my baby boy. I miss you so much. All my love xxxxxxx
Four years today my darling since you left me and I miss you so so so much every single day. Your apart of me in everything I do. You have a baby sister now as well as a baby brother. She's a madam. I'm not sure you'd love her but she keeps me on my toes. Our wee family isn't complete without you. I love and miss you immeasurably
All my love. Mummy xxxxxx
Awwwwww Tj dog the angels took nanny last night. I hope she is there with you? What will I do now without you both? I hope Taz was there to meet her she will have been so excited to see him and Tara and Kerrie and Suskin and TC though maybe not ex George. How will i manage what am i going to do? My heart is broken all over again baby boy. I am still getting used to losing you. Please look after nanny and snuggle into her tight. Remind her that i love her and you.
All my love. Your heartbroken mummy xxxx
New Year's Eve again darling. Our special day. The day you came home to live with me all those years ago. Only a tiny baby boy. You were always the light in my eyes. My safe place. You made all the scary things seem bearable. I still miss your wee face and long to snuggle into you. 18 years ago today. It still feels like yesterday. We had fun didn't we darling? Kindred spirits you and I. I wish we had never had to say goodbye. I hope nanny is behaving and she has settled in well? I miss her and you every single day. I wish i could go back in time. Even for just a day. I miss and love you forever darling.
All my love mummy xxxxxx
Six years without you baby boy. Six years without your cuddles. We still miss you every day and talk about you. You were a huge part of our lives and a huge part of our hearts. That doesn't stop when you have gone to rainbow bridge. Some day it will be my turn to cross that bridge and I hope you and Taz and Tara and Kerrie will be waiting for me. You have all been my darlings and have pieces of my heart but you my pet always will be my special boy. On this the 6th anniversary without you. I will be thinking of you. Wondering what you are doing. I miss you always my Angel.
All my love mummy xxxxxxxx