I brought him into my little family that included myself, my brown tabby girl Story, and my bunny Lorna. Teddy was immediately so full of love and charisma. He was always very playful, even after the kitten years. He was always very small too. Just a perpetual baby. When Lorna passed away, he cuddled with her favorite toy, a stuffed rabbit. But he was never sad, just full of love and affection. He loved Story too, cuddling up to her and pouncing on her to play whenever he got the chance. Although Story's not a very playful cat, she would always give in to Teddy.

When I started dating my fiancé, someone who is not an animal person, Teddy took to him immediately. Gone were the days where Momma was his person; now he had Luke. Every afternoon when Luke got home from work, he'd run up to him, begging for cuddles. And he always got them. I will miss that so much. My two boys just so full of love.

Anyone who met Teddy, even the biggest cat haters, swooned for him. He was just that kind of cat. The kind of cat you hope to have when you take home a baby from a shelter. Again, just so full of love. That's the best way to describe him. Love personified, incarnate.

Teddy was barely 4 years old when he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. It was devastating. We did everything we could to make his last few days positive, spending lots of time with him, being gentle and patient when he didn't want to take his medicine or eat or drink. We always let him know how much we love him. "It's okay if you don't want to eat, I will just sit here with you until you feel like it." But he never did feel like it again. And that's okay. It was his time. As much as it hurts, as much as I feel the grief so deeply in my chest, as much as I've cried and wailed and willed him to come back to me, it is okay. I never have felt anger in the grieving process, just soft, affectionate melancholy. Full of love for Teddy and longing for the years I didn't get to have with him. As unfair as it is, he was just too special for this world.

All the love I have for him that now has no physical place to go will now go to Story and all the other animals in my life. I will visit our local shelters and give the love to those animals. I will visit my childhood dog at my parents' house and love her endlessly. I will see my friends' pets and look at them with nothing but pure love. I will see bunnies and deer and foxes in our yard and send my love to them. I will see the birds flying in the air and nesting in the trees and give the love to them. My love for Teddy will never be in vain, there will always be somewhere for it to go. But I will keep a piece of that love tucked away in my heart for him forever. Because he was my special boy. My beautiful, beautiful boy. My Teddy bear. My Teddar cheese. My Teddifer. My Ted. My Teddy. I will always love and miss you.