6/16/2014: TaiTai, my darling. I lost you today and it was too much of a shock. I held you for a long time and I felt very empty and lonely when I came back home I couldn't stay in the house. All I could do was remember how handsome you were and on the front porch in the sun. You were 12 and I wanted to have you in my arms much longer. I hope you can walk and run with Ami, Jake and Tia and with no more pain. I am selfish and miss you terribly. You were my little guy. You had a wonderful personality and everybody loved you. You were gentle, loving and smiled. I'm so sorry I couldn't save you. Please don't forget me. I could never forget you. You brought out something in me that didn't exist before. My love for you is infinite and know that you meant the world to me. I have been crying all day and thinking of all the special and loving qualities you had. Children loved you and you shared your love for them. I love you...my darling. What shall I do without you my little boy. You were so special to me...my baby. Remember how I always held you and you looked at me and started to close your eyes. What shall I do now? My arms are longing to hold you again. Ami, Jake, and Tia....please take care of TaiTai for me until we all meet again, over the rainbow. love mommy|
6/17/2014: Hello my darling baby boy. I miss you something awful. I treasured having you in my life from the moment I looked in your eyes. When I got you as a baby, you were very sick. They tried to convince me not to get you as there were other puppies jumping up and down. As I was feeling very depressed that day, I picked you up and you were as sad as me. I said I have to have you. You were very ill for 18 months. It was a long and hard road to get you there but I wouldn't give up on you. I loved you every minute of sickness and needed you in my life. Didn't we have that special bond between us. I love you so much Tai and the house is so empty .... just like it was before I got you. I hope you are running in the sunfilled meadows with Ami, Jake, Tia and all your new friends that you have met over the rainbow. I love you my baby....I love you. mommy
6/17/2014: Hi darling. I love and miss you something awful. You impacted my life so much that I feel my heart has been torn in half. I miss taking you for wagon rides and rides in the car with me. Do you remember all the first morning noises you made every day? I just loved picking you up ... putting you in my lap and loving you to pieces. It seemed you never tired of it. I also want to thank you for being such a good boy for years while I had to test your blood twice every day and giving you insulin. You were always so tolerant and nice about it. How could I of had such a good patient than my little TaiTai. Oh, how I miss my baby boy. I am very happy I saw you that day when you were a sick puppy. Just think how much I would of lost if I didn't drive down Route 1 that day. I am thankful. Please don't forget me. love mommy.
6/18/2014: My sweetheart baby....I dreamt of you and how I held you. You always looked up at me so lovingly. What a sweet face that I miss. I was in bed last night and heard a cough. I was used to your cough but you weren't there, then I cried. Then I heard you get up and try to walk like you used to and again I was unhappy because you weren't there. I'm not sure if I was awake or dreaming but when I was up, you really weren't there. TaiTai...you have left a hole in my heart...I loved you so much. I love all of you. Ami, Jake, Tia......please take care of TaiTai. He was so sick for so long. I miss taking care of you. I love you. mommy
6/18/2014 6:57pm: Not a moment goes by when I don't think of you. I still hear you, or I think I do, when I'm in the house. I know I just lost you and I miss you so much, I just want you there. I have so many emotions that I don't know what to do with them except to write to you and let you know how I feel. TaiTai...my baby...my sweet baby. You didn't deserve all the sickness.....you were a handsome, loving, and the sweetest boy around. Everyone loved you. The Garden Club loved seeing you each year in the red wagon. The children loved coming over to you and hugging you. It brought sweet tears to my eyes to see how much you were loved and that you had magnetizing personality just by being you. This is what I miss...TaiTai...with the biggest heart imaginable. I love you my dear boy....
6/19/2014: I love you baby. I am very thankful to have my memories of you. I still see you coming down the hallway and thought I heard you earlier, coughing. You had such an impact on me that I hear you but we know, you and I, that is a dream...only I wish it wasn't. I have been working at home and since Monday. As I drove to work this morning, I found it very difficult and became anxious, then I heard a song that was slow and fully described how I felt about you, and the anxiousness went away because all I could think of was taking in the words of the song that reminded me of you. YOU WERE and ARE MY HEART!!!! I love you and always will. mommy
6/23/2014: Hi my baby. I miss you very much. TaiTai ..... I hope you are enjoying your romping and play with your brothers and sisters. I am sorely missing you and there isn't a moment I don't think of you. I was blessed to have you for the 12 years but feel as though your life was cut too short but unfortunately it happened. Although. I think of the times we spent together with you riding in the wagon and loving to be around everyone and all the attention you received. Please know that I will always carry the loving memories of you in my heart and they will never fade. I love you my little boy and you are missed so much. You were my special little guy. I love you...mommy
6/25/2014: Hi my darling baby boy. I love you so much and loved my time with you. My heart is still crying to hold you. A neighbor came over, and I just cried. I'm still having such a difficult time without you here. I don't know what it is but the impact of me losing you was too much and too soon. I didn't expect to lose you to something other than your diabetes. Just to let you know how much you were loved and you will always remain a warm ray of sunshine forever. I miss everything about you....your smiles, your ears going back when you saw me....the curly over the back tail which was wagging. Remember all the car rides ... you loved them so much. I wish I could have you back and though it's not possible, have my memories of you deep in my heart...my baby boy. love you always...mommy
6/27/2014: Hi sweetheart. How's my baby boy? Are you running endlessly into the sunny meadows with your sisters and brothers? I love you so much. Again, I look for you everywhere and everywhere I look, I expect to see you. My heart is very empty without you. I try to think that you will no longer be in pain but again selfishly... I wish you were with me here. I miss holding you in my lap, brushing you and putting you to sleep with the massages and soft talk. You had such a peaceful look to you. You attracted so many people because you had such a calmness about you. Oh, I love you so much. I know we will be together some day. My darling boy...my baby. love you...mommy
7/22/2014 at 10:07am: Hi baby. I think of you every moment of every day. I may not write as often, but my memories of you are right there and never fade. I miss your sweet whines when you have a treat. I miss you totally. I can't get over how I lost you to something other than your diabetes. I am just so down without you. I'm not the same without my sweet little TaiTai. I have to convince myself that you are happier and healthier over the rainbow with Ami, Jake and all your other brothers and sisters and that you are no longer in discomfort but it takes a lot for me to believe that. I wouldn't want to think of you in pain. I still have everything as it was...nothing has changed. You made such an impact in my life little guy. Just your presence was enough....your sweet look about you and most of all, you were such a kind and loving gentleman. I can't get over how people were just drawn to you especially children. Do you remember all of our car rides and I would massage your ears and neck when I was driving? Your eyes closed and you had that relaxed look on your face with a slight smile look. It melted my heart every time. To think you had such serious medical conditions and you were always so wonderful about the tests, etc. I can't believe how good you were. I miss you so much. I still see you come down the hall limping on 3 legs like you always did...now I don't see it and I miss it. Remember how I always cooked your food and handfed you on the floor? This I didn't mind, but miss doing it for you. I'm so sorry I couldn't do more for my little boy and to save you. I love you with my whole heart and soul and always will. My heart is sad and although you've been gone over a month now...the hurt is still terrible. I cry a lot and even as I write this because I remember everything about you and how much I needed you and with you gone, it is so difficult to smile or see other people happy. I know time is supposed to help but I miss the physical touching, the hugs, kissing you and lying with you. My poor baby boy...I know this is a sad email but I guess I have to get my feelings out somewhere and I guess this is where it happens. I hope you will never forget me or my love for you. I love you TaiTai. I hope I dream again so I can hold you in my arms...I miss holding you. mommy
7/29/2014 7:30pm: Hi my precious little baby boy. Are you running free and having a good time with your sisters and brothers? I miss you terribly. I still hope to see you walk down the hall or greet me at the stairs when I come home. I know it is wishful thinking but a lot of times I wish I would dream so I could hold you again. I have a dream here and there and in those dreams, I can feel you, hug you, kiss you, and tell you that you're mine. Remember when I used to kiss you on your forehead with my lipstick and you would keep it there for the rest of the day? Some people said, "what is that"? I said, my kisses for my little boy. Pat misses you too. Remember she always tried to take you out but you were just so comfortable laying on my bedroom closet floor. I knew it was a good idea to keep a soft blanket for you in there. I came home one day and couldn't find you, then I always knew to look in the closet...and to my non-surprise....there you were. I miss you so much. I still have everything as it was.....I guess I don't want to think of you as being gone. You left such an impact on my life and heart. The photos of you are beautiful but it's not the same as holding you. Always remember how much you were loved...not a moment passes by me that I don't think of you. You were the gentleman in my life and I'll never forget your smiles. I miss you terribly. love mommy
8/14/2014 8:27pm: Hi TaiTai...my baby boy. Mommy misses you terribly. I heard a song and cried. I always expect you to walk down the hall and you're not there. I wish there was something I could of done to save you. I reproach myself always thinking...what more could I of done to keep you with me longer. I wish I knew. I was thinking of how special you were and how much of a loving little boy and gentleman you were with everyone. You were so loved and so missed. I selfishly wish you were here and riding in the car with me. You loved going for rides, remember? You always smiled and your ears back. You were so cute. I miss that so much. I miss everything about you. I miss taking care of you. I miss putting your boot on....I am so lonely without my baby boy. I love you more than I can say or express. I miss your sister Ami too. What heartache to endure in the loss of you and Ami....too much to bear. The two I loved with my whole heart. My heart is broken....I fight to go through each day and try to be happy but it's a challenge. I miss my babies. Always know how much I loved you. mommy
6/9/2015 1:56pm: My baby boy TaiTai. I miss you so much it hurts. I thought in time, the pain of the loss of you would pass but it hasn't. Every day that goes by, I miss you more. I find it difficult to come on here and write about you, as it encourages the reality that I no longer have you to hold and hug. I know the memories of you will live on as long as I'm around but I'm selfish and want to hold you again. I know you are in a better place and with Ami, Jake, Norman, FieFie, Hoody, Tia and the others, but it still hurts. I hope you were happy with me. I tried my best to save you but to no avail. I will never forget you, NEVER! I love you more today than ever. I hope you are running freely using all fours and happily in the meadow of beautiful flowers and with rainbows glory. love you always, mommy
5/31/2016: Hi my beautiful boy. Are you running with Ami and Jake? How I miss my little boy. You were such a gentle little guy and how it was so easy to love, hug and kiss you. I miss seeing you in the front seat next to me in the car. Remember how you loved when I massaged your sore foot when I drove. You smiled and your ears went back. Your face and expressions always dented my heart with happiness. I miss you terribly and I wish I could of done anything in the world to save you. You deserved to be here longer. Twelve years was just not enough time. You were so sick for so many years and didn't deserve it but I tried the best I could to make your life happy, and with infinite love. Always know that you are thought of, every moment of every day and that I keep you in my heart of memories. I love you poopi, my nickname for you. I miss holding you so very much. I hope you always remember me and how much I always loved you. I love you, mommy.
9/12/2017: Hello my darling. I miss you terribly. I just said hello to your sister. You know everyday I look over to the car seat and don't see you. It hurts me like I never thought it would. It has been a few years now and it hurts no less. Avi loved you even though he was still a young pup and always wanted to be next to you. I will never forget where I got you and how sick you were for 18 months then lost the use of your legs. You were always so brave and never let anything get you down. You forged ahead like no other and always smiled when you saw me and had your airplane ears. Remember the Shiba 500 up and down the hall? Oh honey, how I miss you. You were always there when I was having such a hard time and greeted me with a smile and just sat next to me. I loved how bonded we were. Please don't forget me and know you are in my heart and not one moment goes by without me thinking of you, touching and holding you, and forever rescuing you from a terrible situation. Thank goodness we met when we did so you could have the best possible life without being hurt and only tendered with infinite love. I miss my baby boy. Don't forget me...I love you poopi.
Please also visit Ami.