it is still too early I am still too heartbroken and in tears....the only place where I feel peace is when I sit near your grave.|
I will write better later amore mio.Promesso!
I FEEL SO BAD THINKING TO THE FIRST 4 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE.
I LOVED YOU VERY MUCH, BUT CIOPPI WAS OLD, SICK AND JEALOUS.......FOR SOMETIME YOU HAD JESSICA, SHE LOVED YOU AND WAS STAYING HIDDEN SOMEWHERE WHERE CIOPPI COULD NOT SEE
THAN WE REMAINED ALONE, CIOPPI WENT, EVERYBODY LEFT, NOBODY CARED FOR US. BUT NOW WE WERE FREE TO SHOW THE LOVE, YOU WERE RECOVERING YOUR MAMMA .....SINCE THEN , FOR 9 YEARS WE CHANGED PLACES AND COUNTRIES, BUT ALL MY LIFE WAS FOR YOU, MY CHOICES OF WORK, TO BE WITH YOU
THAN WHEN YOU BECAME SICK I LEFT the WORK, I COULD NOT DO IT 'PRACTICALLY;, BUT I DID, AND WE HAD 10 MONTHS SO INTENSE, SO TWO BODIES AND ONE SOUL AS NO LOVE 'HUMAN' CAN EVER GIVE ,AS NO ONE EVER GAVE ME......WITHOUT ASKING......GIVING TO EACH OTHER ONLY. WITH NO CONDITIONS....
YOU WERE AN ANGEL ON EARTH SOLO MIO, SO G....WANTED YOU WITH HIM.......
I AM SO SORRY THAT YOU HAD TO SUFFER, I DID ALL WHAT I COULD IN THIS COUNTRY... BUT IT WAS NOT ENOUGH
THE PROOF OF HOW MUCH I LOVED YOU, CAME ON SATURDAY 31 ST JANUARY, WHEN I HUGGED AND KISSED YOU FOR 46 MINUTES UNTIL YOUR HEART STOPPED......AFTER THE First INJECTION, YOU STILL TRIED TO OPEN YOUR MOUTH TO GIVE ME A LAST KISS.....I COVERED YOUR WONDERFUL FACE AND BODY WITH KISSES AND TEARS
NOW I COME TO YOUR GRAVE AND HOPE YOU CAN HEAR WHAT I TELL YOU...
Solo mio, it doesn't get better..I can t sleep because I think I hear you breathing, get up, call you...and than, I have to understand you are not with me, and I will be without you until the end!Solo, I took you out from the belly of your mamma, and 12 years were ours, and after Cioppi left it was only you and me.It is only you and me....No real friends, no family, I need only to be with you
It is one month to morrow amore mio
I spend day and night remembering and reviving our life together.But there are some particulars I can t stop thinking to
The first time I took you out of our house in Nairobi, we went to see the vet.After the vaccination i let the assistant put you in the car, I was signing the check to the vet, when the askaries started screaming, and we saw you running around looking for me...But how????The car was closed....I run to you and to the car......YOY HAD JUMPED OUT BY CRASHING THE WINDSCREEN We could not believe it, but thanks G...you were not hurt at all.....Only me ' cause the price of the new one was very high!
Our chalet was on two levels.., we used to stay on the lower one, garden, living, veranda.When I was getting dressed you were looking at my shoes, the handbag, and in spite of trying to follow me, you were going up in the bedroom we shared, sitting at the window from where you could see the gate and the car ......You were already waiting. and the staff told me, even if my shopping was 3 hours, you were not moving from there, just waiting for mamma.
In Aswan than one night I arrived with the flight from Cairo at 1 am.On my way to our rooms, as I turned the last corner I screamed!!!..you were jumping on me with happiness and talking.....I did not understand ..who had closed you out??Only one of the staff had the key and he had gone walking with you at 6 pm.....I had spoken to him and he had told me you were OK in the room waiting ....But apparently he had closed you OUTSIDE...and you, my angel, did not move from outside the door, not gone around the hotel, not even around the garden.Security told me, you had been sitting attached to the door looking to the way where I will come from.....
And there is much more, I called you my angioletto, not a doggy but an angel!
How can I not be heartbroken dear Solo mio???Buonanotte piccolo
I need your breathing near me to sleep.Your morning kiss to wake up..I am alone on earth.every day is worst.
8/7/ in hospital, they rescued me, they did not let me come to you.I tried to feel better by staying 2 months abroad.....I can t, I must be here where you are.But you be happy my Solo, don t suffer for me play and chase the monkeys as you used to do in Kenya.Just be patient and we will be together again, soon.
JUl 23 Last year our nightmare began, but together we stand every second , until that 31 January.
Now only your grave for me,and sing to you your special italian songs..But I pray G.. to come to you and your daddy soon , my loves, my babies waiting to welcome la mamma
One year ago you had the visit from the Cairo vet...he said is nothing, and he was wrong.After 3 days you started bleeding and I took you to another vet..The end had started, more trips, more vets, more pain...but also more love from and to your mamma. Solo, my life finished with you.Wait for me! I love you so much
I am in Italy.I should be happy .but I left your grave there.and I can't wait to go back and come to seat near you Solo mio.Look at me from the stars to night, I will see you there!
7 December...and last year by now you were with the last horrible vet who send you to the grave...We were going there every 2 days, but still..., the pain was not too much, and we were preparing our Christmas together..The 11th, solo mio...The Italian Panettone had to wait until the 24th., but we ate many starting from now! Solo mio, it will be so hard to spend this days remembering all what happened.Stay near to me from the Bridge, give me the strength to go on..I want to come to you as soon as possible., I need you next to me with your daddy.the 3 of us for ever! Sorry for the sad note amore mio.but this time is so hard! I love you angeletto mio!
January 2010...and the Christmas and New Year's eve were tears and more tears ..Remembering every second of last year with you,hugging you and telling you 'I don t let you go Solo mio...', but my promise was broken on 31 st January. You were suffering, coming near to me on the bed, putting your legs up and showing me your swollen belly..You were suffering, but still giving me so much love!I could not do nothing, we had changed all the best (?) vets of the country..The pain to see you suffer was killing me, and my love for you gave me the strength to send you to the Bridge! But my life finished exactly in the second your heart stopped beating. Since then it is only pain and loneliness.I count the days to come to you my Solo! Meantime you stay near Shammah, she is a good mamma, play with Cioppi, and wait for me! I promise and pray to come to meet you soon!La MAMMA
...and still some pictures with you asking for the sticks you liked sooooo much!
But this year days does not pass without tears and revivals of those last days of US.Solo mio, I need you to feel alive, life without you is NOTHING!
My heart is sinking every day more in sadness and despair...Solo mio, one more day only we had for us,and you showed me that you had to go...But if there had been a good, decent vet..., you could have been still with me! I am sorry amore mio I could not do more for you. I just pray to join soon you and your daddy at the bridge...Life after you does not make sense!Mamma
March 2010 Solo mio, every day, every morning every night...miss you and think to you my angioletto. Sei la mia vita, voglio venire presto da te! I love you Soletto!
4 April BUONA PASQUA ANGELO...EAT A LOT OF COLOMBA WITH YOUR DADDY...I LOVE YOU BOTH SOOO MUCH! Mamma
7 May Ciao Solo mio, you are always with your friend Camilla ha!!?? She is so cute, and her Family also miss her so much! It s good that your mamma and Camilla sister became friends, it helps so much not to be alone! Now both of you should talk to the angels, and ask them to help a new baby who is very sick,,She is Lamu', and has a wonderful life waiting for her..I love you Solo adorato, and even if you don't see me here, I am with you every moment, every second..Just waiting to come to you amore mio. You and your daddy Cioppi, and now also Camilla..Wait, vengo subito amore!
31 May...another month went..., without you amore mio. Another month of tears and loneliness, not sleeping, waking up feeling that you are there next to me.... and not finding you! I love you Solo mio. always and for ever your MAMMA
New year 2011...another beginning without you Solo. I miss you sooooo much il mio angioletto !!!
A presto amore mio!
March 13 2011
Angelo mio, to day is my Birthday...I am happy only because I know that the time is passing and the day I will be coming to you and Cioppi must be nearer now... I came to your grave, it is OK , and the gentle Lady is now living next to you...: I am happy, you are not so alone like before....One of the doggies received me from the car and took me until your tomb....HE KNEW where I go and I am sure he can communicate with you...
I love you Solo...and miss you more than ever...remember it!!!...I will see you and Cioppi soon .
April 19 2011 HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGIOLETTO MIO
.and now another Christmas is coming,and I told everybody I WANT TO BE ALONE.Since when you left me my Solo.The last Christmas was already sad 2008..., we felt the end was near, since that last Panettone together I do not want to celebrate, just be alone and think to you and Cioppi,and feel lonely!But one day (hope soon), we will celebrate all together again. Love you so much my boy!
January 31 2012
only 3 years, it seems soo long ago, and it seems like yesterday Miss you like that day, and the mind goes to the last night together, hugging you and KNOWING...it is our last, the last hours:Solo, my life was never happy again, and will never have a meaning again.I try to smile to you up there in the stars, but too many tears still. I pray to come to you as soon as God will listen to my prayers. I love you amore mio dolce, more than words can tell.La Mamma
One more year, but nothing changed.I don t care for nothing, after you left I just wait to come to you.Your Birthday is in few days, celebrate and have fun angelo mio...than I will be with you, and I will also celebrate:Love you Solo
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!!!Hope the party will be full of good food that you will share with the friends and your daddy! I think back to the 12 we had together, and I miss it, I miss you, I love u always...Till then my Solo!
December 2012 and every day remembering that last December together, the hope, the desperation, the joy the pain.You left and since than I am not the same person, my soul is with you, and I just wait the day when we will be again falling asleep next to each other, and run, and play FOR EVER.Love you my Solo, always and always more
it is now 2014, one more year Solo mio, one more day to remember and cry, and miss you like the first day. Don't look down tonight and tomorrow, you get so sad when I cry.
I love you with all my heart my boy, and soon will come to you and Cioppi, and this time it will be forever 'US'
Happy Birthday my Solo ! I miss you so much my boy, one more year remembering that wonderful day when I saw you and decided at once that you would be with me for ever...
I love you like that first day and can't wait to be with you for ever at the RB !31 January 2015
One more year passed Solo mio, and still G-d does not take me to you and Cioppi, and it is my desire to come and be with you 2 my boys. I remember every second of those last terrible days, and the emptiness and sorrow of that day NEVER WENT AWAY. I love you Solo, wait for me my boy !
One more year without you my Solo, Happy Birthday my sweet boy. I pray God to come soon to you and Cioppi, I really, really miss you and life was never happy again since the day you left me. Kisses and more kisses my boy
29 January 2016
OMG SOLO it is now 7 years !...and it seems like yesterday...G.d still keeps me down here, and I want to be with you and Cioppi so much...Love you boys, and miss you every moment of my life
AGAIN, 2017 one more year passed and you have still to wait for me.....I tell you as I used to do when I was going out even for few minutes 'torno subito amore mio'. I miss you my love