Out of all of you kids your loss probably hit us the hardest. You were the first of the four to have to leave us as you were the first to be born. You certainly had a 'sense' of yourself because you were very confident and definitely the alpha. Even though Charlie was your human in no uncertain terms, I still miss you terribly. Thinking about it though some would have thought I at least would have a better chance of survival. You would play some of the oddball tricks on me. If I walked past you without making it a point of acknowledging you, you would grab my ankle like a cat and stop my progress. It is not easy to blow off an 80lb 'kitty'. But I didn't mind at all.... it made me stop and revel in the love of you and everything else in my world. Thank you for that. You also had a talent for getting behind me as I was washing the dishes... you would lay so close without touching and when I would turn around to put something away or get something, boom, "Hello floor". I don't know how many times over the years you managed to do that to me... and for some reason I just could never catch on to look before moving. Maybe because you didn't do it all the time so I would get caught unawares. J And bedtime, oh how I still miss the massages. You would always lie at the bottom of my bed and lick the bottom of my feet. I don't know why but I sure appreciated it. Sometimes my feet would be so tired and achey. And I have never known another dog that could lick without being slobbery or at the very least... juicy...lol. |
I remember the early early days of raising you, Lady, Pepper and Missy on the bottle. The 'diapering', if you get my meaning, walking the floors with you and your colicky tummy just as with human babies. When you were 6 months old and still using my shirt collars for pacifiers. Oh how I miss you.
I also appreciated the fact that when you wanted attention throughout the night or giving us the wake up call you would lay by Charlies head and apply your 'kitty' claws into his head and not mine. Rofl... it definitely would wake him and his reaction would wake me... started the day with smiles for sure.
I will never forget the day you had to leave for the Bridge. Not the pain of it but the unfolding drama that interplayed between you and your sibs. It was awesome. It gave me a much deeper insight to the world of the free spirit and connection animals have with an elevated form of existence. Thank you Smokey for allowing me to love you... in fact for insisting I do.
Well here is it Smokey, more than 13 years and I still miss you immensely. I know you are here with me at times but oh, how I wish I could reach over and snuggle into your soft furry neck. I don't come here often... it just hurts too much. Go figure, me, having the hard time when I am supposed to help others. I just don't seem to be able to find the words to tell you all that I feel. I think you know just from what you sense from my heart. I am feeling so extra lonesome tonight for you and the others. Sure took me long enough didn't it boy.
God take care of my kids till I can be with them once again. They were and are all special.
Merry Christmas Smokey.
I am sorry I don't come here as often as maybe I should. I am just so sad all the time, and wishing I could be back with you all when times were better. I love you Smokey and always will, even after my death. I sure hope God thinks I am worthy enough to join all of you.